Page 4 | Biological mother wants tv

Sarah1205 · 2023-02-28T01:20:35+00:00

I'm 32 weeks pregnant and my other half has 2 other children who he coparents. We have the kids every second weekend and every Thursday evening. The kids mother isn't happy we are expecting for a number of reasons and I feel she has tried to make things difficult (more so) since finding out we are expecting. This evening she called my other half and said their daughter (birthday is soon and will be 6) wants a smart TV for her room so he has to buy her that. Their daughter was with us this weekend and didn't say she wanted a smart TV for her birthday. Financially we are scrapping by but if my other half's daughter wants a TV then we will make that happen. However, I don't feel like it should be bought to go into the mothers house - it should be left in her room in our house - or am I wrong to think this? Also, I don't see how a 6 year old would be wanting or excited over a TV for her birthday - she told me she wanted a doll. I wonder if this is a battle to fight or just let it go - ill find a second hand smart TV and get it cheap enough. It's just constant attacks from my partners ex in attempts to cause trouble and make things difficult for us - she's just a very toxic person unfortunately.

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Littlefaeries · 28/02/2023 12:14

I would laugh at her and say no, that’s not happening.

WinterMusings · 28/02/2023 12:14

Sarah1205 · 28/02/2023 01:40

I see your point completely. Blended families and labels are difficult and divide opinions. I said biological mother as its a step parenting thread and my understanding is labels such as step mother/step father and biological mother/father are the labels used.

@Sarah1205

shes SD's mum. That's it. Biological implies she doesn't patent her, like an adopted child.

but no, she doesn't get to dictate what present her Dad buys her.

If she keeps on, tell her to buy the TV herself!

Buy SD the doll SHE wants & a few bits for it (or whatever you want to buy her).

Mummys · 28/02/2023 12:16

Absolutely not. No need at all for a TV that young, and I cannot imagine a child asking for a 'smart Tv' that's a phrase for those of us old enough to remember non smart ones. Think the ex is trying to pull a fast one if if honest and I wouldn't pander to it

TwinsAndTiramisu · 28/02/2023 13:10

Plus, when ex doesn't get "DD's" telly, (which blatantly isn't for DD) be prepared for your partner being the terrible dad who doesn't get his child the only present she wanted because all her cares about is his new baby now. Warn him now, so he sees it for what it is when she comes out with it.

Keep your distance from this woman as much as possible. You can't stop her selfishly damaging her own children through stupid game playing, but you can stop her damaging your relationship as well, by limiting the strings she can pull.

Good luck OP, and congratulations on your pregnancy :)

Meandfour · 28/02/2023 13:12

Sarah1205 · 28/02/2023 01:40

I see your point completely. Blended families and labels are difficult and divide opinions. I said biological mother as its a step parenting thread and my understanding is labels such as step mother/step father and biological mother/father are the labels used.

No, it’s just her mum.

If you’re financially scraping by, why are you having a baby?

Barannca · 28/02/2023 13:13

I wouldn't buy a six year old a smart TV for their room. When they watch TV it should be with the family.

Just buy her what you want for her birthday. If her mother wants her to have one at her house she could buy her one but I think it's an odd thing for a 6 year old to ask for and not something I would be happy about

Reugny · 28/02/2023 13:18

If you can afford it buy her a normal TV and then later when you have more money get her a Roku stick e.g. www.roku.com/en-gb/products/streaming-stick-plus

Set up an account for you guys on the Roku stick and put parental controls on the Roku stick. This means apps cannot be added without your permission. On most apps you can then put further parental controls on it.

Job done.

GoodChat · 28/02/2023 13:19

Reugny · 28/02/2023 13:18

If you can afford it buy her a normal TV and then later when you have more money get her a Roku stick e.g. www.roku.com/en-gb/products/streaming-stick-plus

Set up an account for you guys on the Roku stick and put parental controls on the Roku stick. This means apps cannot be added without your permission. On most apps you can then put further parental controls on it.

Job done.

Why? She doesn't want a tv. She wants a doll.

Reugny · 28/02/2023 13:22

GoodChat · 28/02/2023 13:19

Why? She doesn't want a tv. She wants a doll.

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Then get her the doll.

Reugny · 28/02/2023 13:23

Meandfour · 28/02/2023 13:12

No, it’s just her mum.

If you’re financially scraping by, why are you having a baby?

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Because she is nearly 40 or over, and got pregnant?

Unfortunately women don't have time on their side to get pregnant.

saraclara · 28/02/2023 13:23

She wants a doll, so that's what you should be getting her. But it's up to her where she keeps it. A doll that she can only play with 2 days of every 14 is no fun. She'll probably want to enjoy it with her friends.

Meandfour · 28/02/2023 13:26

Reugny · 28/02/2023 13:23

Because she is nearly 40 or over, and got pregnant?

Unfortunately women don't have time on their side to get pregnant.

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Well no, but surely it’s best to look at ones circumstances and make a decision based on common sense? If they’re already struggling to support 2 children, it’s obviously going to be even harder with 3. Presumably OPs income will also be reducing, at least in the short term, due to maternity leave.

MadameMatisse · 28/02/2023 13:28

A 6 year old girl shouldn't have a TV in her bedroom as far as I'm concerned.

GoodChat · 28/02/2023 13:29

@Meandfour it sounds like OP doesn't have any children. She might have struggled for years to have children. Their circumstances may have changed. And he'll be paying maintenance which will reduce when he has another child (not that that's a good excuse for reducing maintenance, but it's factual) plus she'll get child benefit.

Ultimately she's 32 weeks pregnant and it's completely irrelevant to this situation so really it's none of our business.

MyGrandmaLizzie · 28/02/2023 13:33

A 6 year old shouldn't have a tv in their bedroom especially not a smart tv. That is asking for trouble with her potentially watching inappropriate programmes or worse still, unsuitable content and/or contact online.

journeyofinsanity · 28/02/2023 14:11

ArcticSkewer · 28/02/2023 08:48

Your partner is going to struggle for cash with three young kids to support. If he can afford a TV, great, if not then that's what happens when you choose to have three kids. I wouldn't get involved either way, up to him what he gets his daughter. Maybe he needs a second job?

Lots of people would struggle to buy extra TVs. Your not very cleverly veiled attempt at criticising him for having a 3rd child is a massive fail.

MissMaple82 · 28/02/2023 14:37

So will the doll stay at your house too????

mondaytosunday · 28/02/2023 14:49

You can't afford it. End of discussion. Her unhappiness at your pregnancy has nothing to do with it.

Reugny · 28/02/2023 14:52

MissMaple82 · 28/02/2023 14:37

So will the doll stay at your house too????

It may end up being "accidentally" destroyed when the OP gives birth at her mum's house....

Oh sorry that behaviour is just my DP's ex and a few others....

Zippidydoda · 28/02/2023 14:52

If your DH doesn’t think she wants it then he can buy her something he thinks she does want and tell her mum this. Obviously you can only spend what you can afford. I think it’s good for separated parents to communicate about gifts to ensure no duplications etc, but one shouldn’t be telling the other what to buy.

personally though I think the gift should go where the child wants to keep it. So if she DID want a TV and you bought it for her I should think it’s up to the child to decide where to keep it to get more enjoyment out of it. It is HER gift.

Meandfour · 28/02/2023 15:40

GoodChat · 28/02/2023 13:29

@Meandfour it sounds like OP doesn't have any children. She might have struggled for years to have children. Their circumstances may have changed. And he'll be paying maintenance which will reduce when he has another child (not that that's a good excuse for reducing maintenance, but it's factual) plus she'll get child benefit.

Ultimately she's 32 weeks pregnant and it's completely irrelevant to this situation so really it's none of our business.

The money he pays towards his existing children reduces because he’s gotten someone else pregnant???
Jesus Christ 🙈

drpet49 · 28/02/2023 15:50

RandomMess · 28/02/2023 02:03

No 6 year old needs a TV.

Her Dad can just grey rock that her doesn't want to buy her that as he thinks she is too young but if her Mum wants to then that is her choice.

This. No to buying a tv for a 6 year old. You are being taken for fools.

TrinnySmith · 28/02/2023 15:52

Don't get a 6 year old a tv.

leelan · 28/02/2023 15:55

I think if your step daughter really wanted a tv for her bedroom then I would consider telling her mum that you will go halves with her for the tv to stay at her house and that you will chose something to give her also.
If this is a gift she would really like and her mum cannot afford it alone then it would be more than fair to split the cost. However, if this is not a gift she has even asked for, it's more than likely the mum wanting the tele 🤷🏻‍♀️

aSofaNearYou · 28/02/2023 16:00

leelan · 28/02/2023 15:55

I think if your step daughter really wanted a tv for her bedroom then I would consider telling her mum that you will go halves with her for the tv to stay at her house and that you will chose something to give her also.
If this is a gift she would really like and her mum cannot afford it alone then it would be more than fair to split the cost. However, if this is not a gift she has even asked for, it's more than likely the mum wanting the tele 🤷🏻‍♀️

Surely most children would WANT a Tv in their room? Would you get one for yours?