I think people commenting on stepfamilies on MN just lose all grip of reality. The fact that resources are not infinite seems to be totally forgotten.
On most threads, the whole ‘just buy a bigger house’ nonsense would be robustly challenged because obviously people aren’t squeezing 5 people into a two bed flat out of choice. But mention SC and they MUST have their own, fully equipped and spacious bedroom, even if it sits empty 12 nights in every 14.
As another poster noted, the idea that people should have houses with empty bedrooms is viewed as a social ill across MN - how dare elderly people not downsize and free up their houses for more deserving families? How dare people have second homes and multiple spare rooms. But if there’s a SC involved then, no matter how infrequently they sleep in it or how old they are or what the make up of the household is, they must have a full-time room of their own (anyone remember that thread where the SM was told that her toddler should just continue to sleep in his parents’ room because there was a young adult SC who rarely stayed but who required a dedicated bedroom in her house?).
Posters on stepparent thread use bedrooms and holidays and other large, material things as if they are all that matters. SC must have bedrooms for their sole use or they won’t feel ‘included’. They must be taken abroad at least once a year, or they’ll be scarred for life. It’s not their fault their parents separated and they must be materially compensated.
The simple fact that families just have to do their best with finite resources, and that good relationships are about spending time together and caring for each other (rather than measured in how much the parent gives the child) seems to be considered irrelevant to SC. As does the fact that it’s obvious to the SC that there are only two bedrooms, they only stay one night a week, and there isn’t money to magic up a bigger house. Somehow teaching them that adults should give up having a bedroom so they can have their own bedrooms in two different houses is viewed as a good thing on MN.
No wonder so many NR fathers opt for total Disney style parenting. It’s like the instagram version of family life. All that matters is the glossy bedroom, the day trips, the holidays, the meals out, the toys and clothes. The reality doesn’t matter at all. It’s about what you get and what it looks like on the outside.