Bedroom situation

[Navigatingthroughlife]

Hi all,

I just want an idea for context here to see if anyone is being unreasonable and to be clear this situation has nothing to do with me. It is completely between my partner and the kids mother but I want to see opinions.

myself and my partner have a two bedroom property. Currently my two step kids share a room boy and girl 10 and 13. My partner and I cannot afford to buy anywhere bigger so have decided to build a log cabin in the back garden. The garden has a side gate however this is going to be refurbished to have a pin to gain entry. The log cabin has a British standard lock in it as well as double glazing etc. The plan is for step daughter to sleep in the cabin when she’s here to give her, her own space. However if she doesn’t feel comfortable she has the bedroom she shares with her brother. Due to their ages etc we’re cautious they need their own space. My partners ex is not happy about the log cabin as feels SD is too young. My partner is saying he doesn’t care it’s completely safe and if she doesn’t want to sleep in there she doesn’t have to.

Do you think 13 is too young to have a log cabin to sleep in?

thanks in advance

She was buzzing and fuming for her mum voicing her concerns to dad (which she completely had the right to do) and to be honest I would have loved it at 13 onwards but to be honest in my head this is no longer an option after all these concerns

We get bats here. They are visible against the street lights outside my window as are the big moths.

I think due to the ages that isn't appropriate to share, can someone have the lounge or alternate the room if she's not happy with the cabin.

to be fair the noise of foxes shagging is horrendous 😂 and we live in an area of plenty of foxes so I get this completely!

That's good the thread has helped, good luck OP

I completely agree I wouldn’t feel comfortable sharing a room with my brother when I was 13 especially with developing periods etc so I’m going to have a chat with my partner about getting a sofa bed in the front room for us to sleep on as I just don’t think it’s right for the kids to be on a sofa bed

No thank you all for opening my eyes. It’s so easy to get blind sided when it’s one view against another but I’ve not seen one post here say it’s a great idea 😂😂 so this has been helpful!

There are plenty of kids sharing bedrooms til they leave home, every night of their lives

Of the same sex, yes. Is it acceptable to expect a 16yo girl and a 13yo boy to share? No.

I would have been ok sharing with my brother once a week. I had bunk beds in my room and he used to come in for a sleepover fairly often. Similar age gap. You can always change in the bathroom etc.

You’re lucky! 😂 To be fair when my brother got to his teenage years he was a tramp just wanted to game all day and I would have gone nuts trying to have a tidy bedroom and him sitting in darkness stinking 😂😂😂😂 I think the sofa bed idea for us when kids are here is the best option

How big is the room

Can it be split and made into 2 smaller with a wall

This was my concern which is why after reading this I think front room as a sofa bed is the best idea. Also my partner and I work shifts. So there are times I’m coming in at midnight and everyone’s asleep. I don’t want one of the kids getting woken up in the front room because I’ve just got in from work

to be fair their current room is pretty much a box room. Our room is a double room so it would mean having three box rooms. Also converting our room would mean one would have to walk into the others bedroom to get out which could cause war when their a bit older 😂

Absolutely no way. DD used to have to sleep in a similar set up but with her dad altho alone until he came to bed. I hated it. You can't do this. She does need her own space though, too

I now completely understand. This post has had loads of comment and I’ve decided and will be speaking to my partner tonight about putting a sofa bed in the front room for us to sleep in when they’re both here

Of the same sex, yes. Is it acceptable to expect a 16yo girl and a 13yo boy to share? No.

I can't agree that it's not acceptable. It's not desirable or ideal but it will be necessary for lots of families with little money. They are fortunate that it's only one day a week.

You've come to the right decision op. Your stepdaughter may have liked the idea but that doesn't make it responsible and it's not fair on her mum as she will worry.

No I completely agree and to be honest mum is lovely and the last thing I’d want to do is cause her unnecessary stress

Yes it is. Why don't you two sleep in it. Or convert another shared living space into a bedroom

There’s been so much activity so basically sleeping in it is not an option due to the kids then being in the house alone (especially a 10 year old) so the idea of sofa bed in the front room for partner and I is a much better option

Give them the biggest room and partition it. It's crazy to spend the amount of money this cabin will need, even done cheaply. That money would be better saved towards a bigger house.

I agree with others, it wouldn't be the best idea for a 13 year old to sleep outside no matter how fancy the cabin was, all I can think of is what if she needed the bathroom in the middle of the night, how would she get back into the main house?

The cabin for day time use if they each wanted separate space sounds ideal though.

For the sake of one night a week I don’t personally feel it’s worth making a two bedroom property into three box rooms if that makes sense? I think the sofa bed in the front room for partner and I is the best idea when they’re with us.

After reading everyone’s opinions I agree with you. May look at a cosy cinema room for us all to enjoy at times too. Thank you.

That's a good idea, I suppose you could revisit the idea of it becoming her sleeping space when she's older. I bet she'd appreciate the space when she's revising for exams 🙂