Bedroom situation

[Navigatingthroughlife]

Hi all,

I just want an idea for context here to see if anyone is being unreasonable and to be clear this situation has nothing to do with me. It is completely between my partner and the kids mother but I want to see opinions.

myself and my partner have a two bedroom property. Currently my two step kids share a room boy and girl 10 and 13. My partner and I cannot afford to buy anywhere bigger so have decided to build a log cabin in the back garden. The garden has a side gate however this is going to be refurbished to have a pin to gain entry. The log cabin has a British standard lock in it as well as double glazing etc. The plan is for step daughter to sleep in the cabin when she’s here to give her, her own space. However if she doesn’t feel comfortable she has the bedroom she shares with her brother. Due to their ages etc we’re cautious they need their own space. My partners ex is not happy about the log cabin as feels SD is too young. My partner is saying he doesn’t care it’s completely safe and if she doesn’t want to sleep in there she doesn’t have to.

Do you think 13 is too young to have a log cabin to sleep in?

thanks in advance

Loft conversion??

The kids just live with sharing. Provide a fancy shed for extra daytime space.

People cannot magic up another bedroom or the ability to buy a bigger house.

There are plenty of kids sharing bedrooms til they leave home, every night of their lives.

We don’t have a loft

Thank you. I’ll speak to my partner to have a chat with both kids separately regardless about what they prefer sleep arrangement wise but after reading this I’ll be voicing mums concern a bit and mentioning let’s use it as a day haven for either of the kids

I would have her share the room over a log cabin, but that could be a good space for one of them to chill in during the day.

But it's outside in the garden.
What if she's out there on her own and there's a break in ?

To be fair we were so desperate to provide them their own space each but after reading this I think sleeping in there needs to be scraped.

Could the boy and girl visit on alternate weekends so they get the bedroom to themselves?

We like to make fun activities etc when they’re with us and I’d worried they’d feel isolated if the other one went home and said oh I had such a great weekend with dad I done X Y and Z and the other feel they’ve missed out so I don’t see that as an option to be honest. Also it never gives mum a complete break that she deserves too

Is the sole use of a bedroom more important than spending time as a family with their dad?

It’s one night a week.

And there are lots of bunk-bad solutions that create private spaces in shared rooms - look on Pinterest.

Thank you! I’ll defo have a look as they currently have bunk beds!

in all due respect this post is having a lot of activity so a bit difficult to get through everything as you can see above I’ve stated I’d much rather my partner and I on a sofa bed then either of the kids. We’re adults we can deal with it. Not fair on a child to have to rough it on a sofa bed once a week especially with school etc I’d rather them be in a comfy bed

In fairness @Navigatingthroughlife I just saw you posted that after mine, sorry for the x post.

I think a sofa bed for you and your partner will be fine as an option- you keep the living room that way in the evenings!

Totally get that it's not possible to move.

No worries! I think that’s the best idea thank you for your suggestion 😊

No this isn't a good idea

A conservatory /extension would be a better idea with a sofa bed in it

Or

The siblings share. Not everyone can have a bedroom each

Yeah this is defo the feedback I’m getting! Thank you

For example, OP.

You could get a joiner to modify a bunk bed or build something custom for less than building a fancy cabin.

The adults should sleep in the log cabin if it's just one night. Not safe at all for a 13yr old.

These are great thanks for sending that over! The cabin is still getting built as we’ve bought everything but it’ll be a day space now as opposed to a bedroom 😂

Presumably this is going to cost an awful
Lot of money? I remember them being £30k + years ago. Why don't you spend the money adding to the house properly? Small extension or convert the loft even if you don't go whole hog with stairs in lining the loft properly would be much better.

I would have been really frightened as a 13yo. I would never consider it for either of my teens.

After reading the feedback it’s the same rule leaving a 13 and 10 year old in a house alone. I’d have no issue sleeping in there but don’t want the 10 year old alone in the house so just going to scrap the sleeping idea. Thanks though

Do both and they get the best outcome you can provide.

My DH at 14 was sent out to a trailer (so probably not anywhere as nice as the log cabin) because there wasn't enough room in the house. It always made him feel unwanted. This might also be something to consider

My dads in the trade and has a lot of mates so not quite 30K and we don’t have a loft as to be honest a loft would be my ideal situation as they can look amazing! think a sofa bed is the best option for now. Thank you 😊

I think that a lot of people would get freaked out being alone and hearing or seeing animals outside. Eg My kids were freaked out by the sounds of foxes shagging and how many scary films start with the sound of a broken twig or some other sound that an innocent badger could make ?