Ex prioritising new gf at Christmas!

[Lou55xxx]

I've been split from my ex for 3 years & the first two christmases we spent as a family opening presents together as it's what's best for our kids. They have a lovely time (5 & 8). We coparent well. However in Feb this year he got a new gf. Kids met her in the summer. Everything seems fine but he's just told me that this Christmas he wants to do things separately. He said I can them Christmas Day and he will have them Boxing Day as his wants the kids to spend some time with his new gf at Christmas. Im just a bit shocked as I know this wouldn't be coming from him.

How do I approach this? My kids will be so upset.

Either way, still the injured party's ex husband's new woman's fault correct?

Yes because men can't think for themselves.

Odd how they control nearly all the positions of power in this country...

Exactly. Pulling off the plaster quickly.

Yup. Blame the 2nd partner...always the way

You have no idea what he would have done. He might have secretly been like YES! I HATE SPENDING CHRISTMAS WITH MY EX.

I think when you tell yourself it can’t be coming from him, it must be her. You’re telling yourself secretly he’d rather be with you.

hes obviously thinking this relationship is serious op, so best just accept and let him move on .

Your children need to get used to being co-parented, you can’t have Christmas together forever - it’s just not feasible. You and your ex were always going to create new, separate families eventually. Excite the children about the idea of two Christmases and even more presents and fun.

This is why I always think people should start as they mean to go on. When you aren't together separate xmases are fine. If he's saying you have them xmas day and he boxing day I think that's fine.

I wouldn't say he's prioritising the new gf, he wants to spend it with his new gf which is perfectly fine, I imagine if he said he would have the kids Xmas day or half of it you wouldn't want that. So he's come up with the easiest solution. I think you will have to possibly come to terms with splitting Xmas day as of next year though. That's what is best for the children really, or the proposed Xmas day/Boxing Day, and potentially alternate each year who gets what.

I think you’ve got a good deal having the kids all day Xmas day. I started a post in relationships about my boyfriend spending the Xmas gift opening with his ex. I have an issue with this. I don’t see how it’s sustainable and we are on the 3rd year.

I think you need to excite your children about their new life. Their new norm. I say to my children you’ll have a great time with daddy and XYZ when we share the day. They will. Like they will with me. But we are now seperated and therefore things have changed for them sadly. I am the new girlfriend on one side and yes I am having my say on my expectations too. But equally it’s not all the new ladies fault. Your ex has a say in this and what he wants. He needs to weight it all up. It doesn’t make him a lesser dad if he chooses the option you may not have. I think in this instance he is being kind to and gentle to you. Your kids will be fine. X

My ex and I do alternate Christmas, my eldest's birthday is Christmas Eve so we alternate that as well. We organise gifts jointly and purchase each other gifts from the children

OP you need to be the grown up in this situation. Your kids will benefit from having two Christmas's this is how you need to explain it.

ZOMBIE thread!

It’s not exactly a full on zombie as it was just 3 months ago, Christmas 2022, but it’s not a current conversation. How did it all go @Lou55xxx OP?

You have been unusual in not splitting holidays from the split. However now the kids are well used to mum and dad not being an item and indeed gf has been on the scene a while too. So that's how it is now. Enough of the snipes against the gf too. Not a good look especially if you do that in front of the kids.

Agh!