School Uniform

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Hi my DH pays the CMS amount to his ex for the DSC, he is of the understanding that this is it. That's all he has to pay. Anything else extra is on top, so he pays for half their music lessons and the school trips. I'm asking because his ex has asked him for half the school uniform money for the last few years. He paid half when the eldest went up to secondary school but he said at the time this was a one off and he couldn't do it every year. Anyway he's received a stream of angry messages about it this year and a demand for money. Is he right? The CMS is it and uniform costs are factored into their calculation? Is there anywhere that tells you officially how they've worked it out?

OH!!! OK thank you!!! So they haven't sat down and thought this is how much a child costs so you need to pay this much and more if you earn more? If so thank you this is superhelpful.

Of course they haven't!!! It's utterly dependent on that child's lifestyle, and the amount their parents earn.

I thought they might have worked out a basic minimum. Like x amount for food, x amount for clothes x amount for bills etc.

This. Those are costs not factored into maintenance. Maintenance when calculated through CMS, is really the minimum a parent should pay for their child.

The calculation for CMS is based purely on the NRP's income, number of overnights and whether they live with other children that aren't theirs. Therefore it doesn't definitely cover anything. If the NRP is on a low wage and living with a partner with a load of their own kids they could pay very little and not enough to cover things like secondary school uniforms. However, a high earner with minimal contact living alone could have to pay hundreds which could cover more than half of everything and leave the RP very well off.

It will always be the amount they are legally expected to pay but will only ever be relative to their income, not the costs of raising those particular children.

Why would the father not want to pay for uniform? My ex pays cms rate and always pays half of additional expenses (uniform, shoes, extra curricular stuff) It’s just what is fair. Why argue over the one off expense of uniform? Seems very petty and bitter.

No it doesn't definitely cover enough but nor does it definitely not.

It could be a pittance or it could be more than enough. It's impossible to say until we know how much it is.

Pays for half of music lessons, extra curricular but squabbles about buying uniform which is a basic necessity for school?

This is not a material issue OP - just get half the uniform and moderate other ' deemed luxuries' if this is such an issue for you and him.

Of course he should pay half for the uniform!

It doesn't matter how much he pays a month. Kids can go through countless of uniform in a year plus their school shoes.

She knew when she left him she would lose access to his income other than what he paid. That is all I meant.

Christ you are bitter. The money he pays is not her 'access to his income', it's his very small, by comparison, amount he pays for his CHILDREN. The money for school uniform would be for her either, it would be for school uniform. I can see you begrudge her this money, but it's not for her.

She will have no need for breakfast clubs

That was the point that poster was making. She is doing the lions share.

Seriously? You genuinely thought that?

how old are you?
how old are your kids?

yes, she knew she was losing access to his income, but she shouldn't have expected to have to compensate for his share of raising their children, not financially or physically.

she's doing almost all of the parenting while he tosses about EOW , one evening in the week and half the holidays.

meanwhile she's the one getting them to & from school every bloody day, EOW, after school activities, shopping for clothes/uniform/every other bloody part/fancy dress/school requirement.

I hope you're taking this all in, because this could be you one day, I hope you think his contribution is more than enough then.

I think most people just want their kids to have what they need. Uniforms are very expensive. Unless he literally cannot afford it he really ought to want to pay it.

So, do you think your husband, who you have said is on a good salary, should only pay the absolute basic minimum amount to feed and house his children? Remember his children with his ex are as much his children as those he has with you. He should be being financially equal with all. So, if you think your dc should get uniform which he pays for, then your sc should too.

@keepingwarm5623 Thank you very much this is also super helpful. I can see also on the government website that might be entitled to a variation request. I think the best thing for DH to do is call CMS and ask them to calculate a figure for him again, I don't know if he can apply for the variation on her behalf or if it has to come from her.

We are really just after the figure CMS says he should be paying so we can compare it to what he is paying and go from there. He's not out to pay as little as possible I assure you. We just both perhaps naively assumed the government had worked out how much half of looking after a child costs and then increased this in line with wages. I mean obviously I assumed if DH ever lost his job or became incapacitated it would stop but I'd assumed there was a minimum based on how much a child costs. I can see now why some people get angry.

Why is this seen as a threat. I'm well aware it could be me one day which is why I work damn hard for my money.

she's doing almost all of the parenting while he tosses about EOW , one evening in the week and half the holidays.

It actually works out to be about 40:60 with dad having the children 149.5 days and mum having them 215.5 days.

In my mind, that should mean all the costs for raising said child are calculated (inc mum's and dad's costs) and divided in such a way that dad covers 60% of them and mum covers 40%. Of course that can't happen in practice but it would be more balanced.

Yes thank you. We believe it covers enough. He is not a low earner.

If he's not a low earner then why on earth is he quibbling over school uniform?

I am not bitter. I'm trying to keep factual, we are just after the workings out.

Yes I did. How is this relevant?

He doesn't want to pay less CM. He wants to work out how they've calculated it and now we've found them include the variations on both sides. And use this as a starting point.

And he would love to have them more and has offered to have them longer in the holidays but this was refused. He is unable to have them more in the week due to to the absolutely horrendous journey the children would have to school.

Why is she?!

Because she is already paying for all the uniform which is a basic expense, not a luxury. Can you really not see this?

What about when he has them? Will he provide a separate uniform or expect that to be supplied by the mother? CMS covers the EXTRA days when the child is with the RP. It doesn’t cover all the costs, hence when the DC is at your house the DF provides the food, electricity etc.

My EX pays CMS, half uniform and any other one-off essential costs for 2DC. He doesn't contribute to breakfast or after school clubs, holidays childcare or extracurricular activities, though he's happy to take the DC.

Your OP says your DH is already paying CMS amount. This is nowhere near enough to make up half the cost of raising a child. On what basis is he planning to ask for a variation?

So because his Ex asks for half school uniform costs, your husband decides to look at the CM he pays but he's not looking to pay less....Yeah right