We're both late 50's... me divorced for 6 years, I was also in a relationship for 3 1/2 since the divorce, he's widowed for 2 years ( sadly it was incurable and despite battling , she lost her life after 30 happy years together)
my understanding is that his grieving started way before she died, so a few months after her passing he went on line ( he's not an on line kind of guy, just craved someone to love and share his life with)
It was a mutual attraction, 'Love at first sight' undoubtedly, we have so much in common ( he and his wife shared professions, and family but not hobbies or interests ) and it's been fabulous throughout our 18 month relationship .
We got married within 12 months of meeting.
Just in the last few months his DD ( 24 & 27, both living with their long term partners ) have expectations of him, that he'll be available at the drop of a hat (which he generally accepts)
It's been tricky however over Christmas as they've arranged things for him ( without me) without even asking if he's free....and have this expectation that he's got nothing better to do than jump to the click of their fingers ( which he admits to doing as a means of 'compensating' for their mum's death)
It is now causing issues as we have a life and friends / social life & commitments together, and all we ask is the courtesy of them asking if he / we would like or be available to do certain things....
I really don't think I'm being unreasonable but please set me right ? !!
He's such a lovely man and is caught between that 'rock' and 'hard ' place
( to add , Christmas Day did not go according to plan, it was 'my family' & a couple of mutual friends ( his DD's were doing their own thing, as Christmas is very difficult for them) his DD came over unexpectedly ( he'd been with them in the morning ) with her partner and wanted her dad's undivided attention for 4 hours ) which basically meant that he didn't join us at the table, or even TALK with any of us ( or me ) as he thought 'it might 'upset' his daughter if he was seen taking to other people ( ie my family / mutual friends)
On the positive side, a friend's 87 yr old mother proclaimed it was the best Christmas she'd ever had. So worth it but ... how long do we let his DD's behave like this? With not acknowledging our relationship, or any respect for our ( now joint ) lives?