Overjoyed to finally have my SD here for Christmas!

[ThisMustBeMyDream]

This is the fifth Christmas she has been alive for. Four other Christmases have passed, court orders written and flouted. Tonight, she is finally here. After yet another court battle.
All the children are tucked up in their beds asleep, stockings are out. The magic is about to happen.
I thought this year would never come. She is about to turn 5, and my children are 6 and 9. All throughly believe in the big red man. I'm just so happy to finally see her here for the special day. Seeing OH's face when he arrived back with not just two kids, but all three when he went to collect her... there are just no words to describe that feeling.
For those who have lost hope, keep on trying. Nothing lasts forever .

@Hapoydayz

Just thought I should pop back to say I wasn't projecting. I'm happily married and no step anything in my family luckily. I just read it in active and thought how I would feel as a child and had seen so many cringey fb posts with family pj's on. Also there are so many posts of women trying to protect their children against bad fathers and the bar for their parenting is so low and some women seem to push for access on their behalf. Maybe this one is different but it just sounds like the usual crazy ex story is being lapped up.

Don't you think the OP would know about the court cases? You might be able to spin it to a casual girlfriend but your partner would know, if nothing else there is the expense of fighting these things.

My exDIL would be one of those women you would think was protecting her children but ask her why her eldest has moved out because they are fed up of her controlling ways and the lies she tells about their father. He had been hanging on for a couple of years talking about getting away to uni but in the end he couldn't wait that long. Now she isn't just without him at Christmas, she is without him 365 days a year.

I have 3 small DC under 7, been separated from ExH for 4 years and he's never had them for Christmas because he doesn't want them - he has a new gf and baby, and all the focus is on them.

But I totally respect that children have 2 parents and Christmas Day should be split 50/50, so if that day comes when he wants them, it's a pill I will swallow. And if that day does come, I hope they're in a home with a step mum that talks about them as highly as you talk about your SD. All I want is for my children to feel love on Christmas wherever they are and whoever they are with.

@Hapoydayz

Hopefully it's what your SD wants and doesn't miss her mum too much. Seems an odd thing to be gloating about as just sounds like you are trying force the perfect blended family thing. I hope you didn't do the matching PJ thing!

Are you for real?!

I just read it in active and thought how I would feel as a child and had seen so many cringey fb posts with family pj's on no idea why you're obsessed with PJs

@gonnabeok

Hope her mum is ok.

I'm sure she will be she's had every other Christmas so far. It's dad's turn.

I read this post this morning and thought ‘what a lovely post, it wouldn’t be long till someone ruins it by projecting their shit onto someone else’ and true to form, here we are. Merrily pissing all over someone else’s chips, because they happen to be step mum.

Nothing remotely goady about the OP, just a blended family, excited to be together at Christmas for the first time.

People are asking because at no point has OP said how long the DM and DF have been separated.
This could have been one Xmas but the OP has written to seem like it has been years.
For all intents of this posting - they could have split last year and there be one xmas up for discussion.

No 1 yr old is going to be spending the whole day with the separated parent away from a mother who is potentially still breast feeding.

There are 3 Xmases up for discussion - so when did they split?
Court orders have been defied - what over Xmas time?

Glad OP is happy but the unnecessary unqualified skewing of her post puts a damper on the whole post.

All she had to say wa shappy to have DSD and 3 kids under 9 all excited about Xmas - the rest was superfluous, bitchy and unnecessary without any context.

@Hapoydayz

Just thought I should pop back to say I wasn't projecting. I'm happily married and no step anything in my family luckily. I just read it in active and thought how I would feel as a child and had seen so many cringey fb posts with family pj's on. Also there are so many posts of women trying to protect their children against bad fathers and the bar for their parenting is so low and some women seem to push for access on their behalf. Maybe this one is different but it just sounds like the usual crazy ex story is being lapped up.

Are you reading something else?

@uneffingbelievable

People are asking because at no point has OP said how long the DM and DF have been separated. This could have been one Xmas but the OP has written to seem like it has been years. For all intents of this posting - they could have split last year and there be one xmas up for discussion.

No 1 yr old is going to be spending the whole day with the separated parent away from a mother who is potentially still breast feeding.

There are 3 Xmases up for discussion - so when did they split?
Court orders have been defied - what over Xmas time?

Glad OP is happy but the unnecessary unqualified skewing of her post puts a damper on the whole post.

All she had to say wa shappy to have DSD and 3 kids under 9 all excited about Xmas - the rest was superfluous, bitchy and unnecessary without any context.

Absolute nonsense A) the context is relevant in understanding just how special the occasion it to them B) the details have got nothing to do with anyone else.

A step mum is chuffed to but because after a number of disappointments, their stepchild gets to spend Christmas with their step siblings and dad. So all the magical stuff that kids get to do at Christmas, this child gets to do with this part of their family. No competition, no nastiness, just joy,

Well, what interesting responses to come back to. I shouldn't be surprised I suppose, but I genuinely am. I posted this for other step parents and parents to give them hope that things can change for the better.
It never ceases to amaze me the projection that goes on, particularly when it comes to stepmums.
So here I am, yet again, having to give my whole life story to justify the critics. BTW, it's all in my previous posts should anyone truly care.
My other half was dating her for 3 months. She got pregnant then just gradually stopped seeing him over the next 2 months or so. He tried to support her, but she didn't want a relationship. Not much he could do about that other than accept and be there for the child. So no, they never had a Christmas together.
I met him when she was 6 months old, and they were already at mediation stage as she was making contact incredibly difficult. She was already with someone else, had moved him in and was presenting him as daddy to their daughter (and her then 3 year old). He used to sit there (when she would allow contact) with her new boyfriend there, whilst she refused to allow him to do any care or interaction with their daughter. He was only allowed to watch. With that and the constant cancelling of contact, it was no wonder he went to mediation. Oh, and that is not a disputed fact, it was told to me by a social worker who was involved due to mum's behaviour. So no, not his story, and not through seeing the reports. It is undisputed fact.
Anyway, she has spent years flouting orders, they have had to go to court every single year. There is no (on his side) safeguarding, no dv, no drugs, no drink, nothing whatsoever. If I could imagine what I'd want a dad to be like, it would be him. She is a kind, patient, thoughtful person. She just doesn't want to share their daughter. It is really that simple. Hence why today has been such a big deal.
Anyway, back to why i actually posted. Christmas day was lovely. She absolutely loved it, her little face seeing FC had been, and opening her presents this morning was just so bloody cute. I changed a couple of our traditions to make sure she had consistency across houses (we do most things the same though, so it was no trouble). And yes, we wore our matching pyjamas.
Merry Christmas one and all! I'm looking forward to next year already (we bloody love Christmas here!). Hope you've all had lovely days, whatever your circumstances.

*He is a kind, patient and thoughtful person. Not she. Typo!!

Glad you had such a great day OP, hope today is just as lovely. She’s lucky to have you all

Lovely update op pleased you had a good christmas

Glad you had a lovely day.

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Lovely update OP. I'm glad you all enjoyed your day. I'll never forget our first Christmas together.

I read this thread and thought awww what a lovely post and on Christmas too. Came back to it and my god wtf.

I know this board tends to be filled with the bitter and twisted but the comments on here actually unreal. All the same dammed posters that come on here and derail every single thread. The same ones that say your a bad SM if you don't love your SC or treat them exactly better than your own. This op has done exactly that and she's gotten fried from it. That is bonkers.

What about the mum ? Frankly if my step child's mum behaved like OPs mum my focus would be completely on my DSD and I wouldn't give a fig about the mum or how sad she was because it's not about her it's about the children. Using kids as a weapon isn't on. And I say this as a SM and a ex wife.

Glad op you had a lovely Christmas I hope you took loads of photos and made loads and loads of memories. The kids are lucky to have you !

@Skeumorph

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What the fuck is this about?

You want the step daughter to have a miserable time?

@Skeumorph

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What is wrong with you? Did you want the DSC to have a miserable life?

Aw im so glad you had a lovely family Christmas!!!

I'm divorced, me and my ex split our 3 kids every Christmas. One year I have them Xmas eve till lunch Xmas day, the next he has Xmas eve till lunch Xmas day and I gey Xmas day into boxing day. I'm remarried and have 2 DSC and we have the same arrangement with DH ex do that we always have all 5 kids at the same time. Fathers should not be denied Christmas. Am I gutted the year I dont wake up with them all on Xmas...of course...but so is their dad/mum. Its called co-parenting