Overjoyed to finally have my SD here for Christmas!

[ThisMustBeMyDream]

This is the fifth Christmas she has been alive for. Four other Christmases have passed, court orders written and flouted. Tonight, she is finally here. After yet another court battle.
All the children are tucked up in their beds asleep, stockings are out. The magic is about to happen.
I thought this year would never come. She is about to turn 5, and my children are 6 and 9. All throughly believe in the big red man. I'm just so happy to finally see her here for the special day. Seeing OH's face when he arrived back with not just two kids, but all three when he went to collect her... there are just no words to describe that feeling.
For those who have lost hope, keep on trying. Nothing lasts forever .

I hope you all have a lovely Christmas and I hope things settle down between you OH and his ex and they manage to find a way to make sharing raising the child work.

Ignore the nasty posters.

@Hapoydayz

Hopefully it's what your SD wants and doesn't miss her mum too much. Seems an odd thing to be gloating about as just sounds like you are trying force the perfect blended family thing. I hope you didn't do the matching PJ thing!

Oh bore off. Why are you turning something positive in to a negative?

Happy for you op, sounds lovely

@gonnabeok

Hope her mum is ok.

Hope her dad was okay the four years previously

[quote OnlyAFleshWound]@RuthO86

But being separated from her father is ok?

I didn't comment on that. I was commenting on the op taking time on this magical, moving special occasion to gloat about a 5 year old child caught up in adults' acrimonious battles.

Cruel and nasty[/quote]
The only cruel and nasty comment here is YOURS. go back under your rock.

Enjoy the day. I have 4 sc plus 2 of my own. We rarely have them all on the same day but we celebrate with all of them when we can get them together.

Divorce is cruel on children no matter how it happens. Best result is children being welcomed and made to feel welcome wherever they are and it sounds like you're doing a fantastic job of that. Enjoy!

What a lovely positive message. Have a wonderful time.

The OP is a mum of 2. She understands that joy of Christmas Day with her children.

She's happy for her OH he's going to experience that and is welcoming to her DSD.

SM can never win.

You can't spend a child's life denying a father the chance of being a father to save the mum ever missing out on all the best bits. They first thing MNers say when they say LTB is make sure you get 50/50 and he takes responsibility.

Merry Christmas to you and your whole family, OP.

I hope you and your DH are able to have a wonderful, memorable time with all the kids and have the opportunity to repeat it in further (ideally without the court battle).

Please ignore the moaners that won’t allow a step mother to ever be right. To me, you sound like a wonderful supportive wife to your DH and a welcoming step mother to your SC.

The OP can be happy and pleased that she is - she just did not need to post the other crap.

Interesting that on the SM forum - the top trending posts were all having a bitch and moan about the Ex. The one about bonus parents which was really heartwarming has barely been viewed!

I have my SD for the first time this year. Its pretty special. Her Dad is working so we spent last night watching Gavin and Stacey and she rolled out of bed at 11am to have bucks fizz (she's 15)and croissant with me. In loving it. Her Dad is coming home from work tomorrow. Its made me smile today.

Glad you get to have a day with the whole family OP. Merry Christmas x

@Hapoydayz yeah sounds total dreadful spending the day with dad, step mum and step siblings / half siblings (not sure which?). Being made a fuss of with presents and lovely food

It's not about the parents, it's about the child and tbh if she's used to living with her mum/Christmas with her mum then I think this post is misjudged.

Dad's rights ( or mums) should not trump what the child actually wants.

@Willyoujustbequiet

It's not about the parents, it's about the child and tbh if she's used to living with her mum/Christmas with her mum then I think this post is misjudged.

Dad's rights ( or mums) should not trump what the child actually wants.

Take the longer view. The child will do best with the resources of both parents. Let the child grow, expand her horizons and learn from Dad too.

@Selttan

FFS this is why the stepparenting thread is fuckin useless.

It took two people to make the child why should mum only be the one to get Christmas Day???

Would you all be saying poor Dad if he didn't have the child for Christmas???

Ignore all the negative posts OP. Have a wonderful Christmas.

This. There are a LOT of wronged, bitter people on here who can't empathise outside their own family situation & their (usually) shitbag ex-H.

Not all ex-husbands are horrible bastards, not all step-mothers are evil. Some are, but most people just try to get on with life as best they can.

N.B. I have neither an ex-H nor a step-child. I just bloody hate how awful this board can get. It's for step-parents to support each other, not for other people to take a very biased pop at any step-parent, regardless of their situation.

Some amusing comments here. Let's just hope those posters don't project their insecurities onto their DC.

I'm sure you've all had a great day OP and treasuring these precious moments.

Did they split before she was even born? And he got together with you straight away?

I feel quite neutral about it tbh. Hard to know without knowing the full story, which none of us will.

@Willyoujustbequiet

It's not about the parents, it's about the child and tbh if she's used to living with her mum/Christmas with her mum then I think this post is misjudged.

Dad's rights ( or mums) should not trump what the child actually wants.

Child is 5.

There is no usual Christmas when you are 5.

Every single Christmas is different.

In fact the school holidays are confusing for little kids.

@forcedfun

Did they split before she was even born? And he got together with you straight away?

I feel quite neutral about it tbh. Hard to know without knowing the full story, which none of us will.

Who gives a fuck?

The children all exist and the best needs to be done by all the adults involved to ensure they have good memories of both their parents on holidays

@TheFormidableMrsC

I imagine it's extremely painful for her Mum.

Not the point though is it?

Oh I agree @RedWingBoots but as a mum and step mum myself I find the gloating tone really odd. And the chronology.

@Hapoydayz

Hopefully it's what your SD wants and doesn't miss her mum too much. Seems an odd thing to be gloating about as just sounds like you are trying force the perfect blended family thing. I hope you didn't do the matching PJ thing!

Maybe if her mum had allowed Christmas contact when ordered by a judge in the last four years she'd be used to it?

Families come in all shapes and forms. It's really hard when it's not your turn but it's all about the children at Christmas. Hard though it is when you're not with them Christmas Day, we need to put our brave faces on for the children.
But equally, it's ok to secretly feel miserable when we're without them.

[quote OnlyAFleshWound]@RuthO86

But being separated from her father is ok?

I didn't comment on that. I was commenting on the op taking time on this magical, moving special occasion to gloat about a 5 year old child caught up in adults' acrimonious battles.

Cruel and nasty[/quote]
There's certainly nasty on this thread but it's sure as fuck not the OP

Just thought I should pop back to say I wasn't projecting. I'm happily married and no step anything in my family luckily. I just read it in active and thought how I would feel as a child and had seen so many cringey fb posts with family pj's on. Also there are so many posts of women trying to protect their children against bad fathers and the bar for their parenting is so low and some women seem to push for access on their behalf. Maybe this one is different but it just sounds like the usual crazy ex story is being lapped up.