It's 8.30pm on a Sunday night, so let's play my favourite game...

[NinaBernina]

Every other weekend after we've had the children, we drop them back home to mum's at about 7pm.
Usually by 9pm we've had a snarky text message about some heinous crime that's been committed by me/us at some point over the weekend.

Particular highlights have previously included: an inside out sock in the washing; an unfolded clean T-shirt in the clean clothes, 1 missing bog standard hair grip, an incorrect answer in the maths homework and other unforgiveable offences!

Does anyone want to guess what this weekends will be?
I will be back to let you all know tomorrow!

@SlothMamaToBe

It works for us, and I would heartily recommend it. This week I may request the sketch is delivered in the style of Tommy Cooper, just for some extra pep

@Getawaywithit I'm sure @LindaEllen is well aware of that. I know I was when I offered with home schooling and was shot down.

This weekend's crime was letting one of them use my shampoo "as it's cheap nasty shit". It isn't.

@Pandaly

This weekend's crime was letting one of them use my shampoo "as it's cheap nasty shit". It isn't.

I would be hard pressed not to say "you can always send your own if you're not happy with what is on offer here" because I bet she won't. Honestly I think it's just complaining to get attention. You could get Vidal Sassoon to do their hair and she'd still complain if she's owt like dps ex. She said that dss was never so scruffy as he was when living with us. We asked her how this could possibly be when we had bought every single item of clothing when he lived with her and when he lived with us so how could it possibly be different.

It was my expensive stuff too! She was upset about how dry it was and she'd dyed it so I thought it might help! But yeah I'll get DH to suggest she sends appropriate shampoo if what we have on offer here isn't good enough.

Our crime this week was lost knickers, aka pantsgate round 2.
Now there is a bit of a backstory to this... Several months ago ex decided she was no longer sending the children with underwear and OH would have to buy them some to keep at his house.
So despite paying over £800 CMS per month, off he dutifully goes to purchase underwear - 10 pairs each for both children.

Now, I don't know if any of you have spotted the obvious flaw in this plan already... I did about 30 seconds after the pant purchase... but agreed to see how it panned out... so...
Children arrive in Mum's knickers (which OH is not allowed to wash due to a previous binding unravelling and binning incident!) they then wear the new knickers over the weekend and return home in new knickers with mum's knickers in a washing bag.
Repeat this for 10 weeks and we are unsurprisingly (to me) now completely out of knickers - so OH messages ex asking for knickers to be returned as child no longer has knickers to wear here!
Cue counter accusations of him not returning 4 pairs of original knickers!
Well I have been through all drawers/wardrobes, all clean and dirty washing, looked under beds and everywhere else I could think of where knickers might hide, and found 1 pair of mum's knickers.
She is basically holding the new knickers hostage until she gets hers back - which is going to be impossible as we just don't have them!
It's just totally ridiculous - Sunday evening spoiled over knickers! I really do have better things to be doing with my time, like drinking wine!

OP the trick is to buy all clothing, especially under pants and socks, that may end up at their mum's house from Primark or Asda.

Yes it does mean your OH has to intervene to ensure they aren't taking or wearing stuff he's brought from more expensive shops to their mum's but the amount of crap it saves is worth it.

And yes my DP suffered the "urgent" phone calls and messages about clothing especially under pants. His ex use to time them for a few hours after he came of a night shift and was asleep....

This sort of nonsense upsets me. The kid only has the one arse and they are all her own knickers, its not as if her mum and dad are using them themselves (theres a thought )

@Youseethethingis

This sort of nonsense upsets me. The kid only has the one arse and they are all her own knickers, its not as if her mum and dad are using them themselves (theres a thought )

That's what I said to my DP before he went off to Primark for the first time....

He's now a dab hand at buying children's clothes and knows what shop to buy from for what purposes. Saves me having to do all the clothes shopping for our child.

@NinaBernina

I would have got her to change back into the dirty pair Mum sent her in - possibly aired on the line over the weekend. Perhaps I'm mean, but at least she wouldn't get any of the blame for them going missing.

It ridiculous but I’d be inclined to keep buying new knickers every ten weeks. Just not worth the argument.

[quote SpaceshiptoMars]@NinaBernina

I would have got her to change back into the dirty pair Mum sent her in - possibly aired on the line over the weekend. Perhaps I'm mean, but at least she wouldn't get any of the blame for them going missing.[/quote]
Whilst I get the sentiment. There’s no way I’d make a child change into dirty knickers just to get one over on their mum.

It's not getting one over on the mum though is it @HogDogKetchup? That's what she wants. She doesn't want them to wash the pants. She wants the pants back, but she cannot manage to return the other set of pants back?

Personally I would probably just cut my losses and buy endless pants but then I do think we should call out knob head parents for being knob head parents so... I dunno!

[quote SpaceshiptoMars]@NinaBernina

I would have got her to change back into the dirty pair Mum sent her in - possibly aired on the line over the weekend. Perhaps I'm mean, but at least she wouldn't get any of the blame for them going missing.[/quote]
I'd be doing this. And if the DSC asked I'd tell them the truth about knickergate.

Although the whole pantsgate thing is depressing. It can't be good for the DSC but it's what mum seems to want to do. We had similar until DSC1 declared they didn't want 2 supplies of clothes as none of their mates did so they'd just bring the clothes they want each time. Much easier now they are older but my god the petty arguments over underwear that were had!

One memorable time DH had voluntarily increased his maintenance amount and got "ok, please also send £x.xx for new pants". He retracted the voluntary extra and told her he'd supply pants at our house.

Yup, I'm very much a "is this the hill I'm going to die on?" and 99.9% of the time it's never worth an argument.

In this situation, I'd just carry on buying new pants. A pack of 10 pants is £3 in primark. I'd spend an extra measly £15 A YEAR to never have to exchange texts about pants. So when your ten pack runs out after 10 weeks. Buy another 10 pack. Life is too short to quibble about pants that cost pennies.

@selflove

Yup, I'm very much a "is this the hill I'm going to die on?" and 99.9% of the time it's never worth an argument.

In this situation, I'd just carry on buying new pants. A pack of 10 pants is £3 in primark. I'd spend an extra measly £15 A YEAR to never have to exchange texts about pants. So when your ten pack runs out after 10 weeks. Buy another 10 pack. Life is too short to quibble about pants that cost pennies.

My only issue with that is that I know someone like dps ex would just find the next thing, and the next, and before you know it you supply everything for both houses plus maintenance, pocket money and everything else and you STILL get moaned at for being a "deadbeat dad" and a "loser"

This is literally what happened to dp, and when he eventually said no, sorry, we can't afford this extra thing" his ex convinced his teenage child he didn't pay anything, didn't care enough etc.

@Getyourarseofffthequattro I agree, it depends on the EX but if DH just gave in on the minor things his ex would move to the next, bigger thing and it would never stop.

I cannot believe what I am reading. 🤦🏽‍♀️.

What is wrong with some women? Underpants? Seriously? Now I’ve actually heard it all. OP.

God pettiness over pants. 😱

I’d just keep buying pants too. And view them as essentially disposable. There’s no point in engaging or acknowledging any of this crap. If a parent is going to be weird about pants, it’s just not worth giving them the attention they’re seeking.

If it were something expensive or difficult, then it’s a different situation. But I couldn’t be bothered with the bullshit over pants or socks or even cheap leggings and tshirts.

That goes both ways. If DS’s socks (it’s socks here, and DS is the problem!) don’t make it back from his dad’s, I just buy more cheap socks. It’s just socks.

I’ll nag DS and ask his dad for expensive trainers to come back (for example) but I’m not getting into any kind of anything over socks.

[quote Pandaly]@Getyourarseofffthequattro I agree, it depends on the EX but if DH just gave in on the minor things his ex would move to the next, bigger thing and it would never stop.[/quote]
I think this is where pragmatism and choosing your battles comes in. Pants: no. Schools shoes: yes.

I think this is where pragmatism and choosing your battles comes in. Pants: no. Schools shoes: yes. I agree mostly but I think you still have to choose your battles according to the ex wife DH is dealt.

A friend had the DSCs for the main holidays. They turned up with living hair and in old clothes. The cases were full of unwashed garments that were all too small/torn etc. She ceremonially burnt everything and bought new.

It happened every time...