Nope nope nope. This SM is getting judgement because the pocket money that was due her SD has been funnelled to her brothers. This house has correspondingly said, ‘ok well if SD’s allowance is going to her siblings, we will try and make this fair and balance it out because it isn’t right. And if we continue to pay her brothers our pocket money, we contribute to the inequality, so we will level it out and make this fair and redirect the monies.’
I would do the exact same. This isn’t ‘punishing’ anyone. I would explain to the brothers that I do not agree with this imbalance and that what’s happening is that it’s being corrected so that all children are treated ‘the same’.
Then the mother is paying a pitiful amount in CSA, (on top of the child effectively being pushed out) and the Op is getting criticised?
This thread resounding proves two things to me.
Golden uterus’s really can do no wrong.
SM’s are screwed (even if their reaction is totally human), the judgement piled on them is harsh and disproportionate.
This woman is housing, clothing, feeding and making a home for a child that isn’t hers. I cannot imagine the trauma the child has gone through and continues to go through. On top of that the mother has effectively cut her off financially, removing pocket money and the small means by which she was earning extra income. The OP has worked out a solution to replace all of that.
Do you realise how powerful and supportive thag is to this young child.
Who gives a flying f what the mother thinks/ feels? Why is the mother the primary motivator when she’s a terrible mother?
Only on here would a poster get roasted on that? Vs a look at the wider picture of what has gone on and how severely the mothers behaviour will have impacted this child.
Op, I think what you’ve done is wonderful.
Walk around with a sandwich board ringing a bell if you feel like it. You’ve done an amazing job and I hope your SD is ok x