Date night with CSA

WeepySheepy · 05/10/2021 17:04

And the £38 is now paying our date night meal out 🤣 and we are going to make sure she knows it! why? Why not just add the £38 to the family pot quietly.

WeepySheepy · 05/10/2021 17:05

I mean it pays for her phone contract at least

PigeonPigPie · 05/10/2021 17:06

Could you not have given it to SD?

Anordinarymum · 05/10/2021 17:08

@mommabear2386

we have heard back from CSA and mum has to pay wait for it.... £38 a month for SD to live with us full time. She only wants her EOW, Christmas Eve and day alt years and 'maybe during the holidays but we'll see' She has cut her phone off and stopped her pocket money and gave it to her brothers as 'they will be doing more round the house' and also stopped her earning a little bit of side money with her auntie (home business) as she's not 'trustworthy or reliable' funny that Suddenly the case isn't it.

So we have got her a contract, upped her pocket money with us (stopped her brothers) my friend has taken her on for babysitting one afternoon per week so she's got her earnings back. Just a massive F U to mum, anything you break we will go out of our way to fix for this girl. (If anyone has read my previous thread it's all because SD has dated challenge Step fathers behaviour)

And the £38 is now paying our date night meal out 🤣 and we are going to make sure she knows it!

This all sounds a bit tit for tat and not a good example of how to behave. There must be a back story?

Theunamedcat · 05/10/2021 17:13

Why punish her brother?

I feel sorry for the kids stuck in between you "adults"

Bigeggsinapackoften · 05/10/2021 17:14

Why are you punishing her brothers?

WeepySheepy · 05/10/2021 17:14

@Theunamedcat

Why punish her brother?

I feel sorry for the kids stuck in between you "adults"

I'm guessing the brother now lives with mum and the daughter with OP and dad?

yacketyyak · 05/10/2021 17:17

Jeez. You all sound exhaustingly petty. Poor kids.

Hapoydayz · 05/10/2021 17:19

You sound really petty. Poor kids. I assume the brothers aren't your partners or I'm not sure how you get csa.

WeepySheepy · 05/10/2021 17:22

(If anyone has read my previous thread it's all because SD has dated challenge Step fathers behaviour) might be an idea to post a link to your other thread OP or I think you might get judged a bit harshly.

Gingerkittykat · 05/10/2021 17:27

The CMS can be rubbish, less than £10 a week doesn't go far.

I hope your SD is happy with you and that you can undo some of the damage her mum's behaviour has done.

Getawaywithit · 05/10/2021 18:44

And the £38 is now paying our date night meal out 🤣 and we are going to make sure she knows it!

It’s really not funny at all. Your bitterness is shining through with that. Your step children’s lives are not something to be picked over in this way.

You might not need the money but there are plenty of us who do and there are plenty of NRP who, through circumstances beyond their control, are able to contribute very little. Only seems to matter if it affects you personally, eh?

HeckyPeck · 05/10/2021 19:12

Well done OP.

I'm glad your DSD has you and DH to pick up the pieces from her mum being so awful.

I wouldn't say about the date night. Don't give her the ammo.

kateg27 · 05/10/2021 19:16

It's difficult isn't it. We have DSD full time. Mum sees her on a Saturday afternoon. That's it. She became an inconvenience to her mum when she got a new boyfriend. Been like this for 4 years now 🙄. Doesn't give us any money but that's our personal choice as we don't want to rock the boat. We feel she'd cut contact all together if we did.

Monsterjam · 05/10/2021 19:18

Oh come on everyone. I’m sure this is a bit of a lighthearted fuck your rant at the mum between other women, no need to try and rip OP to shreds

MichelleScarn · 05/10/2021 19:22

Exactly monster if op was saying she'd done this to her male ex this would have been lapped up and celebrated!

SpaceshiptoMars · 05/10/2021 19:25

@Getawaywithit

You need to see the other thread to understand why this is funny.

The Mum's new man is a total patriarch and has been wielding his breadwinner status to force obedience and cap doffing from his stepchildren. The DSD rocked the boat ever so slightly and got thrown out of the family - she's early teens if I remember correctly. That is why she is now living with the OP. Her brothers, who are male-bonding with the Patriarch, are still in situ.

Anordinarymum · 05/10/2021 20:00

[quote SpaceshiptoMars]@Getawaywithit

You need to see the other thread to understand why this is funny.

The Mum's new man is a total patriarch and has been wielding his breadwinner status to force obedience and cap doffing from his stepchildren. The DSD rocked the boat ever so slightly and got thrown out of the family - she's early teens if I remember correctly. That is why she is now living with the OP. Her brothers, who are male-bonding with the Patriarch, are still in situ.[/quote]
No I don't. If OP can't be bothered to explain then why should I go looking?

Pinkspecs · 05/10/2021 20:56

I have to agree with PPs it sounds tit for tat.
Saying you are spending the CSA on a date night sounds really cringe and you sound as bad as them.

funinthesun19 · 05/10/2021 21:02

Exactly monster if op was saying she'd done this to her male ex this would have been lapped up and celebrated!

100%! It’s amazing how the attitudes are different depending on who is posting.

And anyway, I thought CMS just went in to the pot and the RP is free to do whatever they want with it? In other words if they don’t use the CMS money for the child straight away and it goes on something else unrelated to the child, they then just use their other source of household income as and when needed for the child. That’s what the op’s dp is doing but somehow that’s not ok?

tropicalwaterdiver · 05/10/2021 21:21

You spend CSA money intended for your SD living expenses for your meal out?

sassbott · 05/10/2021 21:35

God people are stupid.

This family are paying for the child’s clothing. The food. Housing costs. Phone bill. Pocket money. All costs of having a child with you pretty much nearly all the time.

And you’re somehow picking apart the OP is making a flippant comment about where the £38 is going? When I’m pretty sure that it will be costing 100’s more to look after this child.

Should they draw a neat little spreadsheet. Allocating the 38 to xyz cost associated to the DSD. Then from elsewhere ensuring 38 quid is being spend on date night? Would that make it better?

Honestly. Some people. This board seems to be getting worse

sassbott · 05/10/2021 21:37

And who actually cares what the waste of a space mother thinks? She’s picked a man over her own child.

If a parent was on here saying that this is the decision they’d made, theyd be piled on for putting a partner ahead of a child. But oh no, not here. You evil step parent you! How dare you spend 38 on ‘date night’. Your poor poor step child.

timeisnotaline · 05/10/2021 21:45

@Getawaywithit

And the £38 is now paying our date night meal out 🤣 and we are going to make sure she knows it!

It’s really not funny at all. Your bitterness is shining through with that. Your step children’s lives are not something to be picked over in this way.

You might not need the money but there are plenty of us who do and there are plenty of NRP who, through circumstances beyond their control, are able to contribute very little. Only seems to matter if it affects you personally, eh?

People who watch a mum abuse a child they care about for the sake of the new partner in her life do tend to be bitter. This girl had to walk on tiptoes around her stepdad, express her gratitude to him for supporting them, while he was horrible to her and her mum thought it all fair enough.

Bananarama21 · 05/10/2021 21:48

Why is the brother being punish though i don't get it.