Step dad and my son

[Crazycazza]

Aibu? My youngest son (18) just started uni, he is living in halls but only an hour away by train. My partner was pleased when he left as he dislikes him. My son has been home one night in his first week and is on the train to come home tonight just for one night to watch the fight with his mate from home. My partner is furious ad says I should not let him and make him get used to uni life! How do I say he can't come home? I want to give him the choice, am I wrong?

Sulking is also an abusers tactic. I bet this guy has more wrong with him than sulking and also not wanting the child of the woman whose house he lives in to come home.

How much does he pay towards all your bills and outgoongs?

OP, a woman who makes decisions in part out of a fear of being alone is always operating from a point of weakness. There is little difference in being alone and being with someone you can only keep by constantly having to placate them.

I would think that being alone is at least no worse than being with a petty or controlling partner. Loneliness can be fixed easier than giving in to control issues. Your partner may be terrific in some ways and yet he sounds petty and controlling in other ways. Kids adapt to University life in many different ways. Some go to the. University while staying at home; others choose a location close to home solely for the ability to commute frequently . Others rarely go home except on breaks. Who is to say that one way is better than the other? If the student does well academically and graduates in a timely manner, does the proximity to home or the frequency of visits really matter?

Another disgusting post where a vile specimen of a boyfriend has been moved in to a kids home and pandered to at the kids expense, solely so the mother can have a boyfriend. Any male at all will do, zero standards, as long as she’s ‘not alone’. Awful to see the creators of more damaged young people just wittering on about their boyfriends thoughts, words and abusive behaviour. 🤮🤮🤮

@NowEvenBetter

Another disgusting post where a vile specimen of a boyfriend has been moved in to a kids home and pandered to at the kids expense, solely so the mother can have a boyfriend. Any male at all will do, zero standards, as long as she’s ‘not alone’. Awful to see the creators of more damaged young people just wittering on about their boyfriends thoughts, words and abusive behaviour. 🤮🤮🤮

Agree 👏

@NowEvenBetter

Another disgusting post where a vile specimen of a boyfriend has been moved in to a kids home and pandered to at the kids expense, solely so the mother can have a boyfriend. Any male at all will do, zero standards, as long as she’s ‘not alone’. Awful to see the creators of more damaged young people just wittering on about their boyfriends thoughts, words and abusive behaviour. 🤮🤮🤮

Indeed. I really hope the OP will find a way to nurture some self esteem and put her son first.

My mother prioritised penis over my (already awful) childhood. She bleats that she ‘did her best!’ and wonders why I have nothing to do with her. Reap what you sow, OP.

@NowEvenBetter

Another disgusting post where a vile specimen of a boyfriend has been moved in to a kids home and pandered to at the kids expense, solely so the mother can have a boyfriend. Any male at all will do, zero standards, as long as she’s ‘not alone’. Awful to see the creators of more damaged young people just wittering on about their boyfriends thoughts, words and abusive behaviour. 🤮🤮🤮

Could not have put it better. So many women choosing their shit boyfriends over their kids. I was going to say it’s pathetic but it’s actually heartbreaking.

its your house?

tell him bye bye, put your son first even though he lives at uni.

This is not the man for you! at all!

he is vile. Your son will pick up on this and resent you a lot for it, trust me.

@Crazycazza

Sorry for late reply He needed to use our main TV as his TV from his room is now in his flat at uni. So yes it meant we needed to be out of our living room for 10pm. That is irrelevant to me, its his home and he can use the TV whenever he wants but OH disagrees. I get why you all think I'm mad for being with my OH when he is like this but I don't want to lose him and be alone now my kids have moved out I will protect my sons over anyone though

ahh i get this, you dont want to be alone? You will be more alone without your kids who will resent this man and you picking him above your kids. Im sorry to say that is what you are doing.

Choose better.

Best of luck