Fiancé wants to completly withdraw from DSD's

[45thighs123]

Hi all,

I wonder if anyone has experienced this. My fiance is so alienated from his first two kids aged 5 and 7 he now just wants to withdraw completely.

We live 250 mile away. Contact has been sporadic over the last three years and he left the ex 4.5 years ago he does have to move heaven and earth to get contact time . He just says he cannot deal with the high conflict anymore. We have a one year old together and he's amazing with his son and we have great family time . I'm at a loss , it's his choice so what am I meant to think ??!?? I'm so conflicted. I get on with DSD but to be honest I have not seen them very much. He pays maintenance and always has. He said when they are older he will be there. But I've never seen a parent emotionally withdraw before. And when I see him with our son , I always ask well could you leave him ?He says it's different circumstances, different partner and he's committed to this family life. He has deep regrets over having his first two so young and he didn't want the second to be blunt he said he knew by then the relationship was doomed and bringing another baby into it was a massive mistake. But he's still responsible. Should I just accept his decision and move on?

I don't know if OP is painting a genuine picture of the DCs DM. Our DM was actually like the DCs DM has been painted here. A narcissist who moved hundreds of miles away to punish her Ex. Our DD sold the business he loved and had spent years building up, moved to where we were and took a job he hated to support us. Then jumped through endless hoops DM put in front of him just to see us a few hours here and there when she needed a baby sitter. It never occurred to him not to move to where his DC were. It never occurred to him to give up fighting for us, he lost everything, but in the end he got custody of us. Our 'D'M had already done a lot of damage to us by that stage, but a lot more would have been done if he hasn't fought for us. I'd have no time for a man who wasn't prepared to fight to remain in his DCs life.

I couldn't imagine not being prepared to move to be near my DC, not being prepared to bankrupt myself to be a part of their life, not being prepared to do whatever was necessary to protect them from harm.

@LunaAndHer3Stars DD on this mumsnet means "dear daughter"

And some men do walk away.

Some after a prolonged battle to maintain contact with their children, while others do nothing and just want an easy life for themselves.

Pretty sure this has been posted on another forum with a few different details and everyone there also said your husband was shit

If it walks like a duck......

Your DH is a crap father and sadly given time no doubt will prove that with your own dc/marriage. The best predictor of future behaviour is past behaviour. Up to you if you turn a blind eye but there will come a point you'll wish you hadn't.