My partner wants to take on his ex-wife's 1yo child

[CalamityJay]

TL:DR My partner wants to take on his ex-wife's 1yo child as if the child were his (shared custody, financial support, telling everyone the child is biologically both of theirs). I don't think this is a good idea.

My partner has three children (7, 5, 3) with his ex-wife. While they were separated (but not yet divorced) his now-ex-wife got pregnant with someone else. The child's dad split before the child was born and apparently my partner's ex has no contact details for him.

My partner agreed to put his name on the birth certificate and to financially support this child along with those he shares with his ex. Up until now, my understanding was that that would be the extent of his contribution but now my partner wanted to take on the child (now 1yo) as his own in all respects. He thinks it would be unfair for three out of four children to go to their dad's twice a month and for one to be left behind. He and his ex-wife have now agreed to tell family and friends that the fourth child is both of theirs.

I think this entire situation is horribly unfair on the child whichever way you cut it; however, I don't feel this is my partner's issue to resolve, and I don't think lying and covering up the reality of the situation will be helpful to anyone, including the child once they're of an age to question anything like that.

For context, I have no children of my own so I am inexperienced in this area and don't feel well-placed to negotiate this situation. I have suggested that my partner and hix ex-wife seek mediation or counselling, but I don't think either are interested in that as the divorce was relatively recent and acrimonious. In the meantime, I don't know where this leaves me. Taking on three step-children down the line was one thing but this feels like my partner just had a baby with his ex.

Does anyone have any advice or experience with something similar to this?

I agree. I think the only person he is lying to is the OP. After all, he is apparently on the BC. he is apparently telling all the extended family the child is his. He is telling the OP another story altogether to keep her sweet.

hardly a noble character, tbh. OP you deserve better.

Does she know about you?
Are they actually separated?

I'd ask myself these questions first.

@littlepattilou www.cps.gov.uk/legal-guidance/forgery-and-counterfeiting

@BlueLobelia

Yes, it is illegal to knowingly lie about paternity on the birth certificate.

It potentially results in a custodial sentence.

I assume you are NOT in the UK. Because in the UK it is NOT illegal to put a man's name (who is not the father,) on a birth certificate ..

And you must certainly would not get a custodial sentence!

[quote OwlTwitterings]@littlepattilou www.cps.gov.uk/legal-guidance/forgery-and-counterfeiting[/quote]
Where exactly does it say (in all of that) that a person will get sent to prison, for putting his name on a birth certificate (when he is not the father?) Because I can't see it!

This sounds like a similar situation to a friend of mine of a few years ago. They both had a child outside the marriage, got back together a year ago and just had another child. I don't think they ever really broke up, just needed some freedom. They had been together since school. Realised they'd made a huge mistake splitting up. Now they have 5 children in total and are back to being happily married.

'where is your evidence for this'

Perjury act 1911 section 4 'False statements as to births or deaths'.

www.legislation.gov.uk/ukpga/Geo5/1-2/6

@BlueLobelia

'where is your evidence for this'

Perjury act 1911 section 4 'False statements as to births or deaths'.

Legally, if they were still married at the time, the assumption would be that he is the father anyway.

It’s his child.

1. If you were in the middle of an acrimonious divorce, you would not agree to have your name on the birth certificate of your ex-wife’s love child. Nor, as the ex wife would you want your ex husband to have anything to do with your beautiful new baby.

1. He is not a ‘wonderful dad’ and doesn’t have shared custody if he sees them twice a month.

1. I can see bringing along a half-sibling on a day out to a theme park etc would be a nice thing to do. But this is a 1 year old, who presumably doesn’t know him and at this age would not be asking to be included.

The simplest explanation is that this is his child.

It’s his child.

My uncle did this, but there were no lies about parentage. Everything worked out and they are so close. It can be right for the child and the family, but lies are dangerous imo. I'd have no part in this OP.

I agree with everyone, something is really wrong here. I would walk away and let him sort it out...

I'm not reading 9 pages but see the good in taking on all 4 kids equally. What I don't like or think is right is him doing so in a dishonest manner and lying about biological paternity. There is no need. I would be tempted to end things here as he has made the situation messy by lying. He could have considered adopting the child or just being open even if it meant some awkward conversations with family in the beginning. I would be put off. Also 4 kids including a baby is going to take up a huge amount of his energy and resources. Is he going to have anything left for you?

[quote BlueLobelia]www.legislation.gov.uk/ukpga/Geo5/1-2/6[/quote]
All you are posting on here, are links to the penalties for various frauds, and lying on important documentation. And yes, doing this on certain documentation would get you shafted by the law. And in a few extreme cases, if it involved money, you would probably go to prison.

But there is NOTHING in anything you have posted, that says a man putting his name on a child's birth certificate is ILLEGAL, and will result in a jail sentence. And the reason for that is because it's NOT illegal, and will NOT result in a jail sentence.

Quit the scaremongering!

Plus you're now implicated in lying to the kids.

Where exactly does it say (in all of that) that a person will get sent to prison, for putting his name on a birth certificate (when he is not the father?) Because I can't see it!

Then you are being too lazy to bother to read it.

did you actually read the link?

Not sure how posting the actual relevant piece of legislation is scare mongering, but there you go.

cut and paste jobby from my link

c. 6 (Regnal. 1<span class="underline">and</span>2<span class="underline">Geo</span>5)Whole Act

Table of Contents
Content
More Resources
Help about More Resources

PreviousNext

Plain ViewPrint Options

Help about what version
What Version

Latest available (Revised)
Original (As enacted)

Help about advanced features
Advanced Features

Show Geographical Extent(e.g. England, Wales, Scotland and Northern Ireland)
Show Timeline of Changes

Help about opening options
Opening OptionsExpand opening options
More ResourcesExpand PDF versions
Changes over time for: Perjury Act 1911
Help about opening options
Alternative versions:

01/02/1991
- Amendment
23/02/2004
- Amendment
01/09/2004
- Amendment
05/12/2005
- Amendment
10/12/2014
- Amendment
31/07/2017
- Amendment
25/03/2020
- Amendment

Left
Right
Changes to legislation:

There are outstanding changes not yet made by the legislation.gov.uk editorial team to Perjury Act 1911. Any changes that have already been made by the team appear in the content and are referenced with annotations. Help about Changes to Legislation

Legislation Crest

Perjury Act 1911
1911 CHAPTER 6 1 and 2 Geo 5

An Act to consolidate and simplify the Law relating to Perjury and kindred offences.

[29th June 1911]

Modifications etc. (not altering text)

C1Act amended by Criminal Justice Act 1967 (c. 80), s. 89(2)

C2Reference to penal servitude to be construed as reference to imprisonment: Criminal Justice Act 1948 (c. 58), s. 1(1)

C3Act amended as to mode of trial as to all offences (except offences under ss. 1, 3, 4) by Magistrates' Courts Act 1980 (c. 43), s. 106(2)

C4Act modified (5.12.2005) by Civil Partnership Act 2004 (c. 33), ss. 80(4), 263(2); S.I. 2005/3175, art. 2(1), Sch. 1
1 Perjury.

(1)If any person lawfully sworn as a witness or as an interpreter in a judicial proceeding wilfully makes a statement material in that proceeding, which he knows to be false or does not believe to be true, he shall be guilty of perjury, and shall, on conviction thereof on indictment, be liable to penal servitude for a term not exceeding seven years, or to imprisonment . . . F1 for a term not exceeding two years, or to a fine or to both such penal servitude or imprisonment and fine.

(2)The expression “judicial proceeding” includes a proceeding before any court, tribunal, or person having by law power to hear, receive, and examine evidence on oath.

(3)Where a statement made for the purposes of a judicial proceeding is not made before the tribunal itself, but is made on oath before a person authorised by law to administer an oath to the person who makes the statement, and to record or authenticate the statement, it shall, for the purposes of this section, be treated as having been made in a judicial proceeding.

(4)A statement made by a person lawfully sworn in England for the purposes of a judicial proceeding—

(a)in another part of His Majesty’s dominions; or

(b)in a British tribunal lawfully constituted in any place by sea or land outside His Majesty’s dominions; or

(c)in a tribunal of any foreign state,

shall, for the purposes of this section, be treated as a statement made in a judicial proceeding in England.

(5)Where, for the purposes of a judicial proceeding in England, a person is lawfully sworn under the authority of an Act of Parliament—

(a)in any other part of His Majesty’s dominions; or

(b)before a British tribunal or a British officer in a foreign country, or within the jurisdiction of the Admiralty of England;

a statement made by such person so sworn as aforesaid (unless the Act of Parliament under which it was made otherwise specifically provides) shall be treated for the purposes of this section as having been made in the judicial proceeding in England for the purposes whereof it was made.

(6)The question whether a statement on which perjury is assigned was material is a question of law to be determined by the court of trial.

Textual Amendments

F1Words omitted by virtue of Criminal Justice Act 1948 (c. 58), s. 1(2)

Modifications etc. (not altering text)

C5S. 1 amended by Criminal Justice Act 1988 (c. 33, SIF 39:1), ss. 32(3), 171(1), Sch. 8 para. 16

C6S. 1 extended (with modifications) (27.7.1999 for specified purposes and otherwise prosp. by 1999 c. 23, ss. 29(7), 68(4) (with ss. 31(5), 63(2), Sch.7 paras. 4, 5(2))

S. 1 modified (27.7.1999 for specified purposes and otherwise 24.7.2002) by 1999 c. 23, s. 31(6) (with ss. 31(5), 63(2), Sch. 7 paras. 4, 5(2)); S.I. 2002/1739, art. 2(b)

C7S. 1 extended (with modifications) (27.7.1999 for specified purposes and 23.2.2004 in so far as not already in force) by Youth Justice and Criminal Evidence Act 1999 (c. 23), ss. 29(7), 68(3), 68(4) (with Sch. 7); S.I. 2004/299, art. 2

C8S. 1 modified (1.9.2004 for specified purposes) by Criminal Justice Act 1988 (c. 33), ss. 32(3), 171(1) (with Sch. 8 para. 16); S.I. 2004/2167, art. 2 (with art. 3)

C9S. 1 modified (31.7.2017) by The Criminal Justice (European Investigation Order) Regulations 2017 (S.I. 2017/730), regs. 1(1), 36(7)(a), 37(6)(a) (with regs. 3, 36(1), 37(1))

C10S. 1 modified (temp.) by Criminal Justice Act 2003 (c. 44), s. 53A(4) (as modified (temp.) (25.3.2020) by Coronavirus Act 2020 (c. 7), s. 87(1), Sch. 23 para. 4 (with ss. 88-90))

C11S. 1 modified (temp.) by Crime and Disorder Act 1998 (c. 37), s. 57G(4) (as modified (temp.) (25.3.2020) by Coronavirus Act 2020 (c. 7), s. 87(1), Sch. 24 para. 6 (with ss. 88-90))

C12S. 1(1) applied by European Communities Act 1972 (c. 68), s. 11(1)

C13S. 1(4) extended by S.I. 1976/428, art. 3 and Patents Act 1977 (c. 37), s. 92(5)
[F21A False unsworn statement under Evidence (Proceedings in Other Jurisdictions) Act 1975.

If any person, in giving any testimony (either orally or in writing) otherwise than on oath, where required to do so by an order under section 2 of the Evidence (Proceedings in Other Jurisdictions) Act 1975, makes a statement—

(a)which he knows to be false in a material particular, or

(b)which is false in a material particular and which he does not believe to be true,

he shall be guilty of an offence and shall be liable on conviction on indictment to imprisonment for a term not exceeding two years or a fine or both.]

Textual Amendments

F2S. 1A inserted by Evidence (Proceedings in Other Jurisdictions) Act 1975 (c. 34), Sch. 1
2 False statements on oath made otherwise than in a judicial proceeding.

If any person—

(1)being required or authorised by law to make any statement on oath for any purpose, and being lawfully sworn (otherwise than in a judicial proceeding) wilfully makes a statement which is material for that purpose and which he knows to be false or does not believe to be true; or

(2)wilfully uses any false affidavit for the purposes of the M1Bills of Sale Act 1878, as amended by any subsequent enactment,

he shall be guilty of a misdemeanour, and, on conviction thereof on indictment, shall be liable to penal servitude for a term not exceeding seven years or to imprisonment, . . . F3 for a term not exceeding two years, or to a fine or to both such penal servitude or imprisonment and fine.

Textual Amendments

F3Words omitted by virtue of Criminal Justice Act 1948 (c. 58), s. 1(2)

Marginal Citations

M11878 c. 31.
3 False statements, &c. with reference to marriage.

(1)If any person—

(a)for the purpose of procuring a marriage, or a certificate or licence for marriage, knowingly and wilfully makes a false oath, or makes or signs a false declaration, notice or certificate required under any Act of Parliament for the time being in force relating to marriage; or

(b)knowingly and wilfully makes, or knowingly and wilfully causes to be made, for the purpose of being inserted in any register of marriage, [F4or register of conversions] a false statement as to any particular required by law to be known and registered relating to any marriage [F5or any civil partnership which is to be converted into a marriage]; or

(c)forbids the issue of any certificate or licence for marriage by falsely representing himself to be a person whose consent to the marriage is required by law knowing such representation to be false, [F6or

(d)with respect to a declaration made under section 16(1A) or 27B(2) of the Marriage Act 1949—

(i)enters a caveat under subsection (2) of the said section 16, or

(ii)makes a statement mentioned in subsection (4) of the said section 27B,

which he knows to be false in a material particular.]

he shall be guilty of a misdemeanour, and, on conviction thereof on indictment, shall be liable to penal servitude for a term not exceeding seven years or to imprisonment, . . . F7 for a term not exceeding two years, or to a fine or to both such penal servitude or imprisonment and fine [F8and on summary conviction thereof shall be liable to a penalty not exceeding [F9£100]]

(2)No prosecution for knowingly and wilfully making a false declaration for the purpose of procuring any marriage out of the district in which the parties or one of them dwell shall take place after the expiration of eighteen months from the solemnization of the marriage to which the declaration refers.

[F10(3)In subsection (1)(b), “register of conversions” means the register of conversions of civil partnerships into marriages kept by the Registrar General in accordance with section 9 of the Marriage (Same Sex Couples) Act 2013 and regulations made under that section.]

Textual Amendments

F4Words in s. 3(1)(b) inserted (10.12.2014) by The Marriage (Same Sex Couples) Act 2013 (Consequential and Contrary Provisions and Scotland) and Marriage and Civil Partnership (Scotland) Act 2014 (Consequential Provisions) Order 2014 (S.I. 2014/3168), art. 1(2)(3), Sch. para. 2(2)(a)

F5Words in s. 3(1)(b) inserted (10.12.2014) by The Marriage (Same Sex Couples) Act 2013 (Consequential and Contrary Provisions and Scotland) and Marriage and Civil Partnership (Scotland) Act 2014 (Consequential Provisions) Order 2014 (S.I. 2014/3168), art. 1(2)(3), Sch. para. 2(2)(b)

F6Word “or” and s. 3(1)(d) inserted by Marriage (Prohibited Degrees of Relationship) Act 1986 (c. 16, SIF 49:1), ss. 1(8), 4

F7Words omitted by virtue of Criminal Justice Act 1948 (c. 58), s. 1(2)

F8Words inserted by Criminal Justice Act 1925 (c. 86), s. 28(1)

F9Words substituted by Criminal Justice Act 1967 (c. 80), Sch. 3 Pt. I

F10S. 3(3) inserted (10.12.2014) by The Marriage (Same Sex Couples) Act 2013 (Consequential and Contrary Provisions and Scotland) and Marriage and Civil Partnership (Scotland) Act 2014 (Consequential Provisions) Order 2014 (S.I. 2014/3168), art. 1(2)(3), Sch. para. 2(3)

Modifications etc. (not altering text)

C14S. 3 amended by Criminal Justice Act 1925 (c. 86), s. 28(3)
4 False statements, &c. as to births or deaths.

(1)If any person—

(a)wilfully makes any false answer to any question put to him by any registrar of births or deaths relating to the particulars required to be registered concerning any birth or death, or, wilfully gives to any such registrar any false information concerning any birth or death or the cause of any death; or

(b)wilfully makes any false certificate or declaration under or for the purposes of any Act relating to the registration of births or deaths, or, knowing any such certificate or declaration to be false, uses the same as true or gives or sends the same as true to any person; or

(c)wilfully makes, gives or uses any false statement or declaration as to a child born alive as having been still-born, or as to the body of a deceased person or a still-born child in any coffin, or falsely pretends that any child born alive was still-born; or

(d)makes any false statement with intent to have the same inserted in any register of births or deaths:

he shall be guilty of a misdemeanour and shall be liable—

(i)on conviction thereof on indictment to penal servitude for a term not exceeding seven years, or to imprisonment . . . F11 for a term not exceeding two years, or to a fine instead of either of the said punishments; and

(ii)on summary conviction thereof, to a penalty not exceeding [F12£100].

(2)A prosecution on indictment for an offence against this section shall not be commenced more than three years after the commission of the offence.

It STILL says nothing about it being illegal - and a JAILABLE OFFENCE- for a man to put his name on a birth certificate when he is NOT the father.

YES I AM 'too lazy' to read hyperbole and garbage that is nothing more than scaremongering. Bore off @BlueLobelia and @OwlTwitterings you're boring me now.

god more pasted than I thought. It was meant to be the text of s4 only.

That;s at the bottom if anyone can be bothered to scroll down.

I agree with him in that all children should be treated the same if the Dad is out of the picture (or if he indeed possibly might be the father).

However I think your feelings are really something else. Four children is a LOT. I should know, I’ve been there. And four children with only being separated so early, and still very much a connection there with the Ex wife, with feeling like ‘the father’ and all of that...

It’s just too much to start a relationship on again I think. You will always have situations like this and you are not that high in the pecking order for him to be honest. Move on and find someone without all these complications.

You aren’t exactly fascinating yourself.

It does say it’s illegal. And it does say there is the potential for a custodial sentence. The fact you cannot be bothered to read to confirm you are wrong, doesn’t really do much for your argument (or intellect) does it!

'indictment of penal servitude' means jailable offence.

Does anyone have any advice or experience with something similar to this? Yes. Run for the hills!

I was told to ‘run for the hills’ and I totally ignored them. You have no children with this man. Plenty of men out there without four kids, one of which is a baby. The divorce was recent and acrimonious. Run and keep running.

I think i’d leave them to it and find myself another boyfriend! Like some said before; what if the ex wife has another kid with a man who doesnt stick around?
It’s all very nice of your bf to do that but i wouldn’t want to be part if it!
Good luck