Stay at home dad... who pays CMS??!?

[Britsmums11]

We are in a predicament. Childcare costs are out of control and we literally lose an entire wage on childcare and more . I am the higher earner and we can survive off my wages and at least DD aged 18months isn't passed from pillar to post and can have some stability . My husband thinks being a SAHD is the best option. But then do I have to pay for his son? If CMS do the calculation on my wages we'd be hand to mouth. Husband seems to think that's not the case .... but is it ?

@GreyhoundG1rl

Well she can if she's happy to pay for dss while he's there, which she is. You ignored that bit That's dependant on the child's mother agreeing to 50:50.

This and it's being in the best interest of the child. And yes, the court will hear them out if they're over a certain age or ascertained to have capability. It is not at all 'on her' and again, 50/50 means 50/50 of all the expenses covered. ALL of them.

I don't know what the face is for, if the other parent offers more care in lieu of maintenance, and you say no sorry you cannot have your child more, then that's your choice but then you understand the consequences of saying no?

@Crazybirdlady

Trustthegenegenie they are doing it to save money. That's obvious.

It's really not.

@LaceyBetty

I was a step child and would have hated 50/50. I needed a bit of a "base". I wouldn't assume 50/50 is a done deal.

Yep, and especially when they're secondary school age/teens.

It is reprehensible to be questioning the need to continue to support his first child. Any decision about work he makes has to account for his parental responsibility. You had a baby with a man that already had a child, no one made you do that.

It's your attitude, OP, that I find troubling. All your posts make it perfectly clear that you have nothing but contempt for his ex, despite you stating you don't know her.

From your own posts, it is clear this is all coming from a selfishness on your part that isn't conducive to a happy blended family. The 50/50 option is not coming from a good place.

@Britsmums11 ah I don't think mum will agree now then unless much has changed. I assure you she will most likely spend £250 minimum on her child per month.

It's clear if you have a massive bias against step parents and nrps, yeah.

Trustthegenegenie they are doing it to save money. That's obvious.

It's really not.

It really is, to everybody else.

@GreyhoundG1rl

Trustthegenegenie they are doing it to save money. That's obvious.

It's really not.

It really is, to everybody else.

Yeah, I'm sure it is to those with a huge bias.

@TrustTheGeneGenie of course they think they are saving money! The OP was worried about CMS being calculated on her income. She said that would be crippling (or words to that effect). So she is obvious planning on saving money as a family with 50/50. Or else or what would be the point?

@TrustTheGeneGenie

It's clear if you have a massive bias against step parents and nrps, yeah.

Yes, fuck what the child wants if he/she is old enough to consider it, AGAIN, the 50% of ALL expenses regarding the child, which may well end up being more than £250/month depending on the child and his/her needs, or the OP whose initial post states that her spouse 'thinks' (he knows) he will not have a pay anything if he does SAHP. Nothing biased there.

Bias?

I don't think it will save money though. They will burn through £250 a month on the DS easily.

[quote LaceyBetty]@TrustTheGeneGenie of course they think they are saving money! The OP was worried about CMS being calculated on her income. She said that would be crippling (or words to that effect). So she is obvious planning on saving money as a family with 50/50. Or else or what would be the point? [/quote]
Yeah, she said she was the higher earner so it's clearly more than he's paying now isn't it.

Nobody in their right mind chooses to raise their children in the most expensive and difficult way possible.

As I said before, we spent less when dss lived with us ft.

I'm sure OP is hoping the ex doesn't go for the 50/50. She probably knows she won't. So all is grand in OP's home.

@ThatIsMyPotato

I don't think it will save money though. They will burn through £250 a month on the DS easily.

Not necessarily. I know on mn everyone spends £1000s a month on their kids but most people in real life don't.

@GreyhoundG1rl

Bias?

Yes.

her spouse 'thinks' (he knows) he will not have a pay anything if he does SAHP. Nothing biased there.
Op's dh would appear to be a bit of a worm. I'm not biased in favour of worms.

OP how old is your step child?

@LaceyBetty

I'm sure OP is hoping the ex doesn't go for the 50/50. She probably knows she won't. So all is grand in OP's home.

You're sure. Ah right so you know exactly what op is thinking.

As I said before, we spent less when dss lived with us ft.

Less than £250? Less than £3000 per year all in?

As I said before, we spent less when dss lived with us ft.
Why is this a good thing? Maybe he had more experiences living with him Mum? 🤷🏻‍♀️

You're sure. Ah right so you know exactly what op is thinking.

She's made is perfectly clear herself that she is thinking only of herself and her child. Perfectly clear.

The more you post the more I hope your step son doesn't start staying more, he doesn't deserve being exposed to your attitude. Poor lad.