I did not introduce my husband to my children nor did I meet his children until we had been dating for a year. Neither of us planned to remarry and we did not feel a need to bring or involve our children.
We both had good coparenting relationships with our exs and both sets of kids were happy and well adjusted. We did not feel that there was any need to involve them in a relationship that might or might not last and was filling no void in their lives.
We each had a 50/50 relationship that was timed on the same schedule, so we had time together and family time apart. Initially, neither of us was looking to form any kind of family relationship. We were looking for a mutually satisfying adult companionship. We shared common interests and enjoyed similar activities.
Neither had any concern or interest in how much or how often the other communicated with their ex. We both recognized that raising children was a time consuming and often complex process and require communication and flexibility.
The relationship evolved into one a very caring relationship and we decided to get married. Only then did we meet each other's children and even then we met each other's ex's before meeting the children.
He is a great man, but prior to our considering marriage there was no need to involve our minor children in our love life. It would not have been harmful to do so, but we both agreed that we each had a good and stable situation for our children and we were not willing to risk that for an arbitrary arrangement that would add no value to our children's lives.
As for communication with the exe, neither of us is concerned about the quantity or quality of those interactions. As long as all of the kids are doing well, we just assume that we must be doing the right things in a way that is producing the outcomes that we are wanting to achieve.
If your relationship is emotionally and physically satisfying how would it be enhanced by your meeting his children? He has been very upfront about his intentions. Perhaps, you need or want more than he is expressly willing to give, in which case you have to decide if the positives are out weighed by your not meeting his children.
It seems that at the moment, he is adding value to your life while not disrupting his relationship with his children, but maybe you see your life as somehow being diminished because you have not met his children.
If this is a deal breaker for you, then you need to let him know how you feel. It seems as though he has been very honest with you about that
particular subject.
Frankly, if marriage is not a part of the equation and you spend quality time together, what exactly are you missing?