What is the worst thing your DH's ex has ever done?

[Itlod1982]

For anyone with a DH with a spiteful or crazy ex what is the worst thing they've ever said or done to you?

My DSD has announced that her DM told her to suggest more one on one time with her dad without me around.
To be clear she hasn't said she wants this, she said her mum told her to say it!

Or what's the number one thing she does to wind you up?

I need a bit of light hearted relief tonight so any replies would be appreciated... serious...funny....whacky..

Best day when I threw him out - and the realisation I would never have to deal with his ex again.

Oh god yes! She doesn’t have a leg to stand on anymore.
My ex’s ex wife has a child the same age as one of mine and they are in the same class at school. I just pass her at school now and barely acknowledge her. She’s just another school mum now, rather than golden uterus who thinks she’s my boss. If a hello can’t be avoided I just kill her with kindness. Happier without you and your ex husband and your child. Time to get on with my day without you all

I remarried..
A man without dc and we had one together!!

Sounds lovely and drama free!
I’ll never go for a man with children again either. I do have 4 of my own though .

Jesus some of these examples are just so sad and traumatising!

My experience has been in respect for boundaries... the ex calling crying about her boyfriend leaving and man troubles.
At 11pm at night ... my partner completely baffled as to why he's the go to , trust me he is a typical man who would rather crawl over hot coals the listen to a woman cry and erratically talk about their boyfriend issues. To then phone calls talking about the kids for all of 30 seconds to asking about how in love we are and how much we argue...
This happened for about 3 months after that we were equally fed up and had to set some rules with phone call times and what topics require a call. I.e kids only. And emergencies only after 10pm please and thank you ...

Some horrible stories about but some also very one-sided.

I'm sure my ex's wife thinks I'm horrible as I done want to be matey with her. I'm civil and polite and that's it.
What about a thread where ex's new wife does horrible stuff?
I'll start- mine cheated with my partner knowing I was 18 weeks pregnant and had a toddler. I was left lonely, unsupported and heart broken. Now she tries to rewrite the story claiming nothing was between then until well after I had my baby alone and did the newborn hours, days and months alone and whilst mending a broken heart.
She had not banked on the fact that I had access to and kept copies of all their text messages which prove they are lying. She also tries to imply I'm crazy and horrible to my ex's friends partners. I'm still friends with a lot of them and they supported me through our breakup and my ex's awful behaviour.
There are always 2 sides to the ex vs. New wife story. Often the ex doesn't seem nice because the new wife has been involved in her getting treated really appallingly.

I have dc and dh is a great df/sf. No bother at all from my exh. Haven't heard from him in over 10 years.
Bliss also!!

@subsea

Some horrible stories about but some also very one-sided.

I'm sure my ex's wife thinks I'm horrible as I done want to be matey with her. I'm civil and polite and that's it.
What about a thread where ex's new wife does horrible stuff?
I'll start- mine cheated with my partner knowing I was 18 weeks pregnant and had a toddler. I was left lonely, unsupported and heart broken. Now she tries to rewrite the story claiming nothing was between then until well after I had my baby alone and did the newborn hours, days and months alone and whilst mending a broken heart.
She had not banked on the fact that I had access to and kept copies of all their text messages which prove they are lying. She also tries to imply I'm crazy and horrible to my ex's friends partners. I'm still friends with a lot of them and they supported me through our breakup and my ex's awful behaviour.
There are always 2 sides to the ex vs. New wife story. Often the ex doesn't seem nice because the new wife has been involved in her getting treated really appallingly.

Start your own thread then?

Id particularly like to know how dps ex justified all the things I mentioned. I guess her story would be that it never happened......!

@subsea The thread is one sided because the topic of the thread is stepparents posting about exes and the pps are sharing things that have distressed them. If you want to post about nasty stepmothers or OW, start a different thread.

BTW, am not a stepmother (or any kind of mother) and don't deal with any drama of this nature so I'm not being defensive.

@dontdisturbmenow

DSD had mentioned having more one on one time to her dad last week and he said to me So she did mention it before? Maybe she did to her mum too.

How old is she? Could it be that she manipulates a bit both parents when it suits? Especially if under 8yo, she could do so unconsciously.

Ultimately it does come down to context and whatever else is happening.

@dontdisturbmenow she's only mentioned it once (last week)....so this weekend we had arranged that she'd spend with her dad and I'd do my own thing. It was as they were about to leave she asked why I couldn't come and her dad said he thought it would be nice for them to have a daddy daughter day. That's when she said she never actually meant it, it was just something her mum had told her to say.

I'd never ever have a problem with this (it's not even my place to get involved!). It was they comment that she didn't want it but her mum told her to say it that got my back up!

You could be right tho so we'll keep an eye on it and definitely encourage some alone time for them. After reading some of these stories it seems nothing in comparison

subsea most of the posters on this thread though had said they weren't the OW. And many ex wives get possessive over their exes when they move on with someone else, regardless of how long ago they broke up, who instigated the split, and the reasons. I didn't meet DH until he had been divorced 12 years - his ex was still jealous and possessive, even though she openly told me she had shagged around on him because she was bored of being a wife and mother, and thought she had settled too early. And she was married again, so she wasn't even lonely.

@subsea

Some horrible stories about but some also very one-sided.

I'm sure my ex's wife thinks I'm horrible as I done want to be matey with her. I'm civil and polite and that's it.
What about a thread where ex's new wife does horrible stuff?
I'll start- mine cheated with my partner knowing I was 18 weeks pregnant and had a toddler. I was left lonely, unsupported and heart broken. Now she tries to rewrite the story claiming nothing was between then until well after I had my baby alone and did the newborn hours, days and months alone and whilst mending a broken heart.
She had not banked on the fact that I had access to and kept copies of all their text messages which prove they are lying. She also tries to imply I'm crazy and horrible to my ex's friends partners. I'm still friends with a lot of them and they supported me through our breakup and my ex's awful behaviour.
There are always 2 sides to the ex vs. New wife story. Often the ex doesn't seem nice because the new wife has been involved in her getting treated really appallingly.

@subsea so sorry to hear what you've been through! I could join your other thread too. My ex-H (DDs dad) began an affair 7 weeks after I gave birth to DD and hid it for the first 2 years of her life. Telling me is was insecure, had PND, was imagining things!!

The other woman is now my DDs stepmum. I've tried to be the bigger person and always put my DD first. She thinks I like ex-h and his new DP and Im always polite & civil. But for some reason DP absolutely hates me???!

Think I said in one of her earlier posts that I'd love to hear how she describes me!!! No doubt she'd have some spin on it to make me out to be the crazy ex-wife that's forever in her life due to DSD! I've actually waiting on her response popping up below 😂😂

Often the ex doesn't seem nice because the new wife has been involved in her getting treated really appallingly

And I’m sure my ex’s ex wife would agree with you that the problems she had were all my fault.
Or maybe her problems were just that... her problems. She set herself up for bitterness and disappointment when she put unreasonable expectations on to me and I didn’t always fit in to her ideals. Her problem.

Brothers ex who tried to take the children to America to live with a man she hadn't yet met who she was going over to marry - he was unaware of his impending marriage.

He lived with his mother and brother in a one bed apartment so I'm not quite sure where she planned on moving in with him with 4 under 18, she was planning to surprise him and live with him.

Thankfully court orders stopped the kids being boarded on the plane. 3 of the 4 are now over 18 and that was just a light episode of what was to follow, my brother got full custody even though he wasn't biological father to two of them, their two older 18+ siblings supported him with this. The kids are now well adjusted balanced people and the ex is as cray Cray as ever.

We’ve not seen my DSD for almost 2 years (she’s 15) as her mum has done such a good job of parental alienation on her. She now won’t even take texts from her dad. Basically mum told DSD that dad should only focus on DSD and made my H’s life hell when he had a new partner (before me). Mum’s behaviour was listed as one of the reasons for my H’s divorce from this new partner ex was controlling, unreasonable etc. When he got together with me, he was told that DSD wasn’t going to be having anything to do with me or my kids - he ignored this and DSD used to have a fab time with us all. She missed out on lots of holidays because she was told she’d miss her mum too much, we’d be told what she could/couldn’t do each weekend etc So because none of that worked mum stepped up the PA and now DSD misses out on her time with her dad - just because mum won’t forgive dad for leaving her (end of relationship no one else involved.)

@Chloecoconut

We’ve not seen my DSD for almost 2 years (she’s 15) as her mum has done such a good job of parental alienation on her. She now won’t even take texts from her dad. Basically mum told DSD that dad should only focus on DSD and made my H’s life hell when he had a new partner (before me). Mum’s behaviour was listed as one of the reasons for my H’s divorce from this new partner ex was controlling, unreasonable etc. When he got together with me, he was told that DSD wasn’t going to be having anything to do with me or my kids - he ignored this and DSD used to have a fab time with us all. She missed out on lots of holidays because she was told she’d miss her mum too much, we’d be told what she could/couldn’t do each weekend etc So because none of that worked mum stepped up the PA and now DSD misses out on her time with her dad - just because mum won’t forgive dad for leaving her (end of relationship no one else involved.)

Good grief, this sounds familiar!

Carbon copy of the shenanigans we had to put up with!

All This and more from a woman who instigated the divorce too!

Her and her bf told oh's girls that our child together would be nothing to do with them as he's only their half brother

Often the ex doesn't seem nice because the new wife has been involved in her getting treated really appallingly

By who? Because I can tell you now that neither me of dh have ever treated her "appallingly" - when we were first together she seemed like a nice normal woman to me. Dp never said a bad thing about her. Their split was amicable and that was why I was so shocked when she started being so vile.

I'm sick and tired of exs bad behaviour, often damaging their own children, being excused because ohhhhh it can't be her fault someone must have been mean to her first. She must have been treated badly wah wah wah. No. Some people are jus arseholes and unfit parents.

We don't seem to challenge it much when people say their ex husband's are twats and useless father's but as soon as a woman is accused, oh no, that cannot be.

I can tell you for a fact, it CAN be, it happens more often than you think and apparently it is totally socially acceptable because oh the poor baby is upset she's allowed to lash out.

I'm sick and tired of exs bad behaviour, often damaging their own children, being excused because ohhhhh it can't be her fault someone must have been mean to her first. She must have been treated badly wah wah wah. No. Some people are jus arseholes and unfit parents.

Exactly! I never did anything to try to hurt ex’s ex wife or cause any problems. I wasn’t the OW, I wasn’t unpleasant to either her or the dsc. In fact I look back and cringe about how nice I actually was, knowing that she said some unreasonable things right from the beginning. She is an arsehole, but I’m sure there would be people falling over themselves to come to her defence just because of who she is.

There was no excuse for obtaining information about my children for her own warped agenda. There was no excuse for her snidey comments about me being “the boss” when dsc was with me all week.
And there was no excuse for blatantly telling me that my children shouldn’t exist.

Many other things I could mention too.
The only explanation is that she is an arsehole.

My husband's ex used to change contact whenever she felt like it; she didn't allow my DSD to come to our wedding (despite everything being agreed; it was on our weekend; dress was brought; DSD was excited to be a flower girl); she threw away her birthday/Christmas cards from us; she told my husband I had to move out of my home EOW; she wrote a letter saying the reason my husband has 'a sudden' interest in his daughter is because I was barren; she interfered in EVERYTHING we did; she would message every time we dropped DSD off complaining about something; she booked horse-riding and swimming lessons for every weekend but then wouldn't allow us to actually take her; she said if anything happened to her "naturally DSD would live with her boyfriend as she'd just had a baby brother"; she wouldn't allow DSD to have her friends round ours because "if anything goes wrong it would reflect badly on her as The Mother"; it goes on and on.

She is an awful person, not violent and neglectful like some here..people I'm sure would say she's a 'good mother' but it was always about having total control and, I would say, I believe her to be emotionally abusive to DSD. Despite all the effort from her Mum, DSD has a fab relationship with her Dad and I. She mentioned the other day (with an eye roll) how her mum quizzes her little brother when he gets dropped off by his dad.."Just like she used to do with me...."

Sent DSS in clothes that didn't fit. He walked out of their house looking like he had shit himself but actually he couldn't do his jeans up!

Asked DH if he's go to a concert with her when we had been together 6 months.

Use to text me everytime she saw DH at the school gates and tell me how amazing their chat was. DH had spoken to her!

Well the worst thing she's done in general is walk out on DP and DSS when DSS was 1, to go and live with a bloke she was shagging. This bloke didn't like kids, so she left DSS with DP and didn't get back in touch for 6 years ..

But since that, DP's parents had offered to take all of the grandchildren on holiday to Florida. So it'd be just the two of them, with three children. DSS's mum refused to give written permission for his grandparents to take him out of the country. Because DP wasn't going with him, they needed the permission of both parents, and she could veto it. Which she did. For absolutely no reason other than she doesn't like his parents (because they gave her so much shit for what she did when she walked out). So DSS had to miss out on his holiday of a lifetime - because god knows we can't afford to do anything like that!

DSS is the most wonderful child (other than my own DS) and I'm so glad his Mum hasn't (hopefully) damaged him.

Whilst DP was going through solicitors and court for CAO, she repeatedly reported us to social services and DSS school- him for sexually abusing his own son and both of us for physically assaulting our 2 mth old. Involved DSS being interviewed by police, several social workers etc and them investigating then dismissing putting in writing it was malicious. Most horrendous weeks of my life. Can't imagine what it was like for DSS either. My partner was in pieces. Yet she then still sent DSS for his contact days?!

She then got shock that social workers looked into her parenting and were actively involved in trying to support her in being a better parent for nearly a year as they found gaps in her own practice and repeatedly told her there were no concerns at ours only hers so would not be coming back here again.

Had to be written into court order that she will contact DP over any "concerns" rather than any external body.

Lots of other little things but thankfully since the CAO she seems to be a little easier to deal with and is now being as nice as anything....but we don't forget and are realistic it won't stay quiet forever.....

My thankfully now ex- husband’s first wife insisted on contact taking place as per schedule when I was due to give birth. As we had no local family, this meant his daughter needing to stay with family hundreds of miles away when I went into hospital, and then being left alone the day after a CS so he could drive to collect her and bring her home as per the contact schedule. I later cited this as unreasonable behaviour on my divorce petition.

This thread was always going to end badly.

My DPs Ex is fine - we talk about DCs and get on like grown adults. Split was 10 yrs before I met him.

ExH first DP - minging, am unable to articulate how vile she was and still is about me and the DCS 10 yrs post him leaving me and 5 years post him leaving her.
ExH Second DP - lovely another adult relationship.

I have been lucky and unlucky. Actions of first EX DP of EXH - still have repurcussions in my life due to what she accused me of. Never quite get to forget it before thye rear their ugly heads again

Got dressed up in a 'sexy' santa outfit and tried to seduce him when he went to see DSC on Christmas day.

Refused to let DSC come to our house after the birth of our DS because she didn't want them coming anywhere that DS was. Um it's his home

This was all a few years ago and she has calmed down now but I'm completely NC with her and DH only speaks to her on a strictly when needed basis, only about the children and has firm boundaries in place.