Small rant.. Sick of extra work

[Pleaseaddcaffine]

Before anyone says it, I know it's a dh problem but god its frustrating.
He moans I don't enjoy them being here and I always say I like them, but 3 extr ppl is a lot of extra work and he doesn't see it.
Example arrived friday. Dh was supossed to strip beds n change them. He stripped beds., but didn't wash sheets or put new ones on. I hoovered n did bathroom etc. I cooked food for evryone and then washed up as he didn't the next morning.
Sat morning got up at 6 with our toddler. Made evryone breakfast and washed up again. He got up at half 9. Put wash in (not sheets as I'm leaving them for him) and put out to dry.
Went for a run while he had them all), which was nice). Made lunch. Then watched all kids for 3 hours while he worked. Then took all of them for a walk togter n he then had a 50 min bloody shower. I cooked tea while he did this.
He then went to shop and got me wine and said he was treating me, which I found annoying (possibly unfairly).
I'm annoyed as it will be same tommorrow and for hqlf of next week while I try and work from home. Only difference is my child will be at the childminder as I pay for childcare!!
I work full time, it's busy n stressful and I'm not superwoman. I appreciate their family but a bit of gratitude and appreciation for how much extra work it is or actually sharing the work would help.

Well done @Pleaseaddcaffine. Great to hear!

Oh calm down. I wouldn't make them strip the beds every time (unless they were dirty) but they can help with dinner and cleaning up without it being child abuse. I used to load the dishwasher every day.

It would be the husband I would be expecting to take on more cooking and cleaning primarily, but honestly, "poor children" 🙄

Sorry app is playing up, again that was for @worriedandannoyed 🙄

well done OP.

I'm irrationally annoyed today... I spent 12 hours at work in the office today. Got home dh forgot to buy our ds food for twa when he shopped for food. Sorted toddler tea and he fed dsc. I went for exercise (run) . Cme back he fed himself and the dsc pancakes but didn't save any for me!!
I had a cheese sw for tea upstairs.
Cross!

It’s like he lives in a parallel universe @Pleaseaddcaffine

Is he like this with everything or is it just related to his children?

He should be changing their beds. If they don't get new sheets then they'll soon moan at him and he'll do it. Do less.

Sorry see things have moved on a bit. That is very annoying.

Now you know why his first marriage broke down and why 9 out of 10 times it's best not to touch a man with kids when you have none. You enable this and his shitty behaviour towards his own kids and continue to do so. Either you just stop and even leave when he has them so he steps up to parent or carrying on making a martyr out of yourself for a man who doesn't give a shit.

He isn’t shit 100% of the time no, it sounds like he is shit around 95% of the time.

Of course the children should be helping with chores, do the anti chore people really want OPs husbands children to turn into lazy adults like their Dad who also think household chores are a womans job? Their Dad should be the one setting and overseeing the chores, not OP. If Dad doesn’t want the children to do chores that is fine if he then takes on all of those chores himself.

The cooking issue is tricky, if he usually did at least 50% of the cooking I would cook for the step children, if he slacked in cooking I wouldn’t cook on their contact days. If their Dad chooses to feed them things he knows they dislike it shows how much he actually values the comfort of his children. There is nothing stopping him making a proper meal for his children and hotdogs for himself.

You shouldn’t be providing childcare, if you want to provide it thats fine, but it shouldn’t be the default option, he should be wanting to spend as much time with them as possible, that includes getting out of bed.

I would personally ignore screen time, the childrens parents are both happy with the screen time the children have.

How do you forget to buy food for your own child?