Holidays

[harryclr]

DP and I have argued a few times now about holidays.

We have a 7month old and he has a 5yr old DD from a previous relationship. I have expressed that whilst our baby is still young I'd like to go on a couple of more grown up breaks before he gets too old and our holidays have completely changed and are 100% revolved around children. Due to Covid we missed out on our baby moon and my birthday trip to Lisbon.

Is this selfish of me? I just think it would be nice to have time just us and our baby, as he doesn't speak or walk or have wants we are still able to go on a city break for example where he can be in the pram etc. A 5 year old needs constant entertaining and attention and the holiday completely changes. We can also be more intimate and affectionate and have more interesting/adult conversation when a 5yr old isn't around.

Does anyone think it's unreasonable of me?

He called me selfish and 'evil' and insists I want to leave his DD out and exclude her. He gets instantly defensive whenever I suggest anything, almost anything at all without her. He even went as far as to tell me where to go if I don't like it...I never said I never want to go on a family holiday, I am merely saying we have the opportunity at the moment to do a couple of different trips before our holidays are water parks, zoos and chips!

Is it selfish and unfair to just ask for some balance and compromise in this blended family?

I would only ever suggest to go away when DD is at her mums also, she is also at school.

Thanks x

Also

And my favourite.

@KumquatSalad those have genuinely made me chortle

Glad to be of service @MyCatHatesEverybody. 😁

I think I’ll start using them all over the place on the stepparents board. Let’s face it, it’s going to come up again. And again.

Can I join in?

Aww it’s a Hallmark dick line bingo! Truly warms the ice cold heart of a a step mother

That’s excellent @MyCatHatesEverybody.

Omg! I am properly dying laughing. We all need to save these and post them on threads where this stuff appears

Those cards have cracked me up! Love them

Those cards are brilliant 😂

I take requests. 😂

@KumquatSalad you should start a thread for them, I've love to see more! Pus it'd give the sharks of the step parenting board more proof as to how very evil we all are.

@KumquatSalad

Voila.

You’re probably hearing this a lot.....because it’s true!

The message about the father loving all of his children not just the SM’s!

Agree these hallmark cards should be handed out frequently!

@Coronawireless

Agree these hallmark cards should be handed out frequently!

Tbh, you are our target market. 😁

Bullseye

Ah well. I’m being combative but I’m sure it’s not easy for anyone. I just sometimes think it’s hardest on the children that’s all.

Wishing everyone luck - I’ll take myself off.

My ex DH has previously gone on holidays and day trips with his new family, excluding my DC which I haven't been happy about, and neither have they. However, all DC involved are similar ages. If they had much younger DC and the holidays were not those my DC were interested in it would be none of my business and not unreasonable for them to be happening.

@Coronawireless if you listen closely you might hear the sound of the point going way over your head.

I just sometimes think it’s hardest on the children that’s all.
Most of us can agree with that I’m sure. The problems seem to start with the attitude that it’s only the SCs who have a hard time and that nobody else matters.

[quote MyCatHatesEverybody]@KumquatSalad you should start a thread for them, I've love to see more! Pus it'd give the sharks of the step parenting board more proof as to how very evil we all are.[/quote]
I have done so. I think we can produce a really excellent collection for all evil SM occasions 😂

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/stepparenting/4135986-Evil-Stepmum-s-Greetings-Card-Collection

I just sometimes think it’s hardest on the children that’s all.

I agree that it can be. So point the finger at THEIR PARENTS. The vast majority of issues start and end with them.*

*general rant, not aimed at any specific poster

@KumquatSalad you are a legend