I'm a wicked step mother because...

[FleaBagLarry]

There have been a few refreshing threads on here recently where some of us have been a bit more honest about how we actually feel!

In light of this, in what ways are you the stereotypical 'evil step mother'?

It got me thinking before, in my case, I'm the evil step mother because my DSC are isolating for 2 weeks and as much as we get on, I'm bloody enjoying the break! I'm looking forward to it being over for DHs sake but for me selfishly, it's been quite nice having a couple of weeks to ourselves. (We usually have the DC 50:50).

I know it's absolutely appalling that I haven't been sat in a darkened room sobbing the entire time! So shoot me 🤷

No one has Covid, no one is ill, just isolating before anyone suggests I don't care they are poorly.

Is this an actual thing? Children who are almost at secondary school age sharing a bed with their parents still? I'm not being deliberately arsey asking this, just genuinely shocked ...

It wouldn’t be my choice but apparently it is!

Because I dared to suggest we put together a photo album for DH's big birthday this year (his ex kept all the photos when they split) when 3 months after suggesting it DSD (in her 20s) decided she wanted to give him one of special moments just him & her. I dared to suggest it was a bit daft to give him 2 with lots of the same pics so I'd think of something else. DSD totally spat the dummy & refused to speak to me for weeks. Meh!
After all the drama she didn't even give him the album 🤷🏼‍♀️ Go figure?

Wow. I've literally never co slept with my daughter, not even when she was little. She's always had her own bed. It's definitely not for me ... but each to their own!

@LouJ85

Wow. I've literally never co slept with my daughter, not even when she was little. She's always had her own bed. It's definitely not for me ... but each to their own!

Me neither. I hate it and can’t sleep at all.

That was another thing my DH couldn’t understand, that I didn’t want to do-sleep with SS and would go and sleep in a different room. Then now I have my own I still haven’t done it...

@TriangleBingoBongo
I wonder whether these partners who expect SMs to be OK with random chats while you're in the bath and sharing your bed with their little darlings, actually fully understand that you didn't in fact give birth to them and they aren't yours?! It's so bizarre.

I'm trying to imagine ever expecting my DP (my DD's stepdad) to be OK with my DD just perched on the loo having a chat with him while he bathes... it's so utterly bizarre to me!

Where are these men's boundaries?!?!

I'm apparently a wicked step mother for putting sanitary towels in the bathroom when it looked like dsd might start her period soon.

Classic Mumsnet

Oh ladies this thread is really making me laugh on a gloomy, grey day!
Some of the stuff you've all experienced is just BONKERS!
Mind you, I too was an evil sm as I refused to trade in my much loved car for a MPV so I could ferry my exdp's kids around eow. This was a special request from their dm.
I was also evil for daring to do stuff with my kids but without them AND dp. Apparently I should have been offering to take them on my day trips with my kids even on their non contact weekends 🙄.
Flipside - I was also evil for merely engaging with them so I'm not sure how she thought the day trips would work.
Then the youngest (13) considered me very evil for sharing a bedroom with exdp on holidays and for suggesting that maybe (on the same holiday) he stop following his dad to the loo & that he give his dad a half an hour alone to have a coffee & relax!

Apparently I should have been offering to take them on my day trips with my kids even on their non contact weekends

Is this a wind up? 😂

@KylieKoKo

I'm apparently a wicked step mother for putting sanitary towels in the bathroom when it looked like dsd might start her period soon.

Classic Mumsnet

It’s bonkers. I ended up having the chat with both SD as they were showing signs that first period may be on the way. I left it for a bit til it was apparent that their mum wasn’t going to do it so I bought all their sanitary products.

I advised eldest SD to keep some sanitary products in her school bag just in case. Their mum found out and removed said sanitary products from school bag out of spite. What happened? Her first period arrived when she was at school and she got herself into a right state and had to lock herself in the toilets and wait til a teacher came to find her.

Is this an actual thing? Children who are almost at secondary school age sharing a bed with their parents still? I'm not being deliberately arsey asking this, just genuinely shocked ...
Wish I was joking. DS has slept through the night since 4 months and been in his own room since 6 months, we were hoping that would help her to see that she’s a big girl now but nope, she will wake up crying until everyone else is awake all through the night unless DH goes in with her. He’s tried everything but her mother doesn’t think it’s a problem so he’s back to the start every time she comes. I think it suits her mum to be honest, she doesn’t seem to give a shit.
I’m so worried she will start her periods then feel to awkward to come at all if she can’t sleep without her dad.

@foxtrotoscarpoppet

I didn't even have any kind of chat with her. I just put them in the bathroom in a prominent place so she could use them if she needs to without any embarrassment a I remember being mortified by my periods when I started.

@Youseethethingis

Is this an actual thing? Children who are almost at secondary school age sharing a bed with their parents still? I'm not being deliberately arsey asking this, just genuinely shocked ... Wish I was joking. DS has slept through the night since 4 months and been in his own room since 6 months, we were hoping that would help her to see that she’s a big girl now but nope, she will wake up crying until everyone else is awake all through the night unless DH goes in with her. He’s tried everything but her mother doesn’t think it’s a problem so he’s back to the start every time she comes. I think it suits her mum to be honest, she doesn’t seem to give a shit. I’m so worried she will start her periods then feel to awkward to come at all if she can’t sleep without her dad.

This is a worrying and unhealthy situation for the little girl

@LouJ85

Apparently I should have been offering to take them on my day trips with my kids even on their non contact weekends

Is this a wind up? 😂

I have this too. Massive kickoffs from DSS' mum if I've done something with my own kids despite it not being contact day.

@HerbErtlinger
What utter madness. Are these women mentally Ok?!

You are clearly supposed to sit in a dark room in silence until they return! Terrible step mum!!

I have found my people 😂 I thought of another one, I'm an evil stepmother for having to CONSTANTLY tell SS7 to stop putting things in his mouth/licking them 🤢 including the tv remote and my child's own toys! It's quite frankly disgusting, why should I touch things he has slavered on?

• That I refuse to have different rules for her and my DS. Eg not sitting on tablets all day, not allowed on YouTube or tik tok without adult supervision.
• That I refuse to allow her to gave her tablet and constantly be messaging her mum if the slightest thing doesn't go her way. Sorry, not on big brother.
• That I no longer go out every time she comes to buy food because she's decided she doesn't like what she ate during the last few visits.
• That if she doesn't want to stay, she goes home at a reasonable agreed time. Not messing up everyone else's routine.
• That I expect rubbish etc to be put in the bin, not just left lying around.
• That I will not (pre covid) check with her if i can have visitors such as my siblings/parents etc.
• That I won't cancel plans if she changes her mind and wants to come last minute.

She's 9. Thankfully DP is in agreement but to her I'm the biggest bitch going. I have always treated her well and will continue to do so but God, sometimes I go out for the day with my 2 just to get away as i cannot stand how she puts the waterworks on whenever things don't go her way or attempts the emotional blackmail bit of, oh I don't think I want to come again. I've refused point blank to be manipulated by a child.

That I will not (pre covid) check with her if i can have visitors such as my siblings/parents etc.

What? Just, what?! 😮

@LouJ85

That I will not (pre covid) check with her if i can have visitors such as my siblings/parents etc.

What? Just, what?! 😮

This....... @LouJ85 beat me to it.

If anyone heard a loud thump just now, that was my jaw hitting the floor in disbelief.

KylieKoKo I think I remember your thread regarding the sanitary products. Absolutely bonkers.
Of course we all know that if you said “not my problem” and left it all to her dad you’d still be the evil stepmum. So you can’t win really.

Buy them and you have a weird obsession with your dsd’s periods, don’t buy them and you’re a cold hearted witch because you’re female and you know what it’s like.

@LouJ85 & @FoxtrotOscarPoppet

Yup genuinely. She went home and complained on more that one occasion that she doesn't like it when we have people over especially if she isn't warned. But even when is warned cries saying she doesn't want it happening. Taken to now just saying well sorry this is my home and I will have who I want to come over. She doesn't even come out if her room anyway so not like it directly effects her!

[quote Parmavioletmum]**@LouJ85* & @FoxtrotOscarPoppet*

Yup genuinely. She went home and complained on more that one occasion that she doesn't like it when we have people over especially if she isn't warned. But even when is warned cries saying she doesn't want it happening. Taken to now just saying well sorry this is my home and I will have who I want to come over. She doesn't even come out if her room anyway so not like it directly effects her![/quote]
WTH???

[quote Parmavioletmum]**@LouJ85* & @FoxtrotOscarPoppet*

Yup genuinely. She went home and complained on more that one occasion that she doesn't like it when we have people over especially if she isn't warned. But even when is warned cries saying she doesn't want it happening. Taken to now just saying well sorry this is my home and I will have who I want to come over. She doesn't even come out if her room anyway so not like it directly effects her![/quote]
This is far from normal behaviour. How bizarre.

@PhylisPrice

to CONSTANTLY tell SS7 to stop putting things in his mouth/licking them 🤢 including the tv remote and my child's own toys! It's quite frankly disgusting, why should I touch things he has slavered on?

At 7 years old, if he's absolutely compelled to do that, I'd make myself an even more unpopular Stepmonster and suggest he's seen by a Sensory Occupational Therapist

I'd also find out which of these types of chews he likes best and have the sort that he can attach to his wrist or clothing, then every time he wants to chew something of someone else's, you can all tell him to chew his sensory chew.
nationalautismresources.com/chewelry/
www.tinknstink.co.uk/oral-sensory-chews
www.cheapdisabilityaids.co.uk/chewelry-chews-10475-p.asp

This thread. 🤣🤣🤣. I can’t actually believe some of these.

(Nb at one point my ex proposed and we were considering marriage. A huge sticking point for me was knowing that I did not want his kids there. Whining and demanding his attention and making it all about them. I knew at that point I wasn’t cut out for the SM malarkey)