I'm a wicked step mother because...

[FleaBagLarry]

There have been a few refreshing threads on here recently where some of us have been a bit more honest about how we actually feel!

In light of this, in what ways are you the stereotypical 'evil step mother'?

It got me thinking before, in my case, I'm the evil step mother because my DSC are isolating for 2 weeks and as much as we get on, I'm bloody enjoying the break! I'm looking forward to it being over for DHs sake but for me selfishly, it's been quite nice having a couple of weeks to ourselves. (We usually have the DC 50:50).

I know it's absolutely appalling that I haven't been sat in a darkened room sobbing the entire time! So shoot me 🤷

No one has Covid, no one is ill, just isolating before anyone suggests I don't care they are poorly.

Oh, this thread is wonderful.

I was an evil stepmother for not wanting to give up my horses, and spend all my time with DP and my 2 DSS. Over my dead bo

Body not bo.

My husband thinks I’m nasty because I suggested dss (in high school) could perhaps start to walk to school some days (no special needs, 15 minute walk).

Hahahahaha these are great, what a lovely antidote to all the usual shite bitter posters piping up with their ulterior motives. For now

I'm a wicked stepmother because

I don't think a 5 year old should watch a 15 rated movie
I think if you threaten a punishment, you should follow through
I don't think drinking Dr Pepper at 8AM, having free reign of the snack drawer or constantly eating chocolate and sweets is okay
I think a 14 year old girl having an 11 year old boyfriend is fucking weird
I won't contribute to jobless for 18 years ex wife CMS, even when she said I should in mediation
I don't sing the mums praises. I don't slag her off or even mention her either but she is a shit mum and a shit person and I have absolutely no interest in being even civil anymore, just stay out of her way
I created a chores board for the week after finding 9 glasses and used sanitary pads all over DSD14's bedroom floor
I won't let DSS have his own room when our new baby has arrived as that will be theirs and he is only here 40% of the time
I enjoy the time they aren't here and rarely miss them, if I do it's certainly only the younger two
I refuse to make separate meals because they refuse to eat anything that isn't frozen and beige

Wow that felt cathartic

Why did you all marry such weak and pathetic Disney dads?

@StopGo

Why did you all marry such weak and pathetic Disney dads?

Obviously haven't read my post then! 🙄

I won't contribute to jobless for 18 years ex wife CMS, even when she said I should in mediation

Cheeky fucker!! 😂

@StormBaby

Apparently I hate my SD because I get mad when she constantly steals from me and her dad does nothing. Never mind that I am the only person who cares enough about her to make sure she’s clothed and has a warm coat, doesn’t smell because nobody makes her bathe or brush her teeth, gets her toiletries, gets her things to do, does baking and crafts with her...NOBODY else bothers with any of that. Just me. But I must hate her 🙄 Cracks me up

Your with a man who neglects his child like that?

Can the posters who are starting to pop up asking us why we are with our partners/husbands kindly bugger off. This feels, for once, like a safe thread to vent. (For the record my DH is fucking amazing and does everything for his kids, we just have differing parenting styles, as many birth parents also do)

If you have genuine questions, start your own thread to get answers. Don't come on here ruining an up-until-now very relieving and helpful thread for what is most of the time and thankless task.

@YoungScrappyHungry

Very well said!!

I am an evil stepmother because I have allowed my DH to realise he should prioritize his pension over subsidising 33 year old DSD who doesn’t work but does spend money like it is water.

• I made DH sit down and calculate how much he had spent on her (and on everything else but she has a category of her own) in one year as part of a belt tightening/budgeting process. It was almost the same as a year’s worth of mortgage payments! DH independently decided that the Bank of Dad was now closed but that is all my fault.

• We took her on a very expensive all expenses paid holiday so she could attend her brother’s destination wedding (turns out he wasn’t fussed about her being there). She now says we hold that over her head anytime she says we do nothing to help her.

• She wanted £1000 after crashing her car and was very upset when we drew up a loan agreement on the terms that she asked for (paid back at £10 per week). That was a couple of years ago and she hasn’t paid a penny (which is a surprise as I thought she would pay one, maybe two weeks and then stop).

• it is my fault that DH never offers her ‘practical’ help anymore (she means money) and instead we both offer babysitting, help around the house, diy, budgeting advice etc.

• it is my fault her kids don’t have a (whatever is the best/latest/most expensive gaming console) because 1) I refuse to buy tech for children and 2) it was way beyond our budget. Apparently, she couldn’t manage to buy it herself.

[quote PhylisPrice]@BlankTimes thanks, I'll leave his parents to address it though, his dad doesn't see that it's not right and absolutely vile for anyone else touching anything he's had his mouth on. Caught him just lickijg the palm of his hand earlier 🤢[/quote]
It is definitely for his parents to deal with but is also a asd trait.

This thread is brilliant. Thank you @ @FleaBagLarry for starting it!

I'm a wicked stepmother because I moved in with DP of over 2.5 years during lockdown so I could still get to work, without consulting DSD(9). Whom the ex didn't allow round for 5 or 6 weeks because of Covid anyway.

Also, because I had bought new furniture and I wouldn't allow DSD to appropriate it for her games (which include little to no respect for said furniture). Apparently, it is my fault DSD never gets to play the games she used to with DP. I maintain you can play Power Rangers without jumping off my furniture.

However, the biggest reason I am a wicked stepmother is because I am with DP and not the ex.

More power to you ladies!
Brilliant thread.

I am a wicked stepmother because I didn't want to give DSS11 the biggest bedroom in the house, despite the fact he only stayed 4 days a month (EOW contact schedule).

@StopGo

Why did you all marry such weak and pathetic Disney dads?

Your strength of feeling suggests you did once too

I was once a wicked stepmother because I went on a day out to the beach and a theme park with my children and my dad and didn’t invite dsc along. Dsc was due to be at ours that day but a bit later on that morning, and dsc spent the day with their dad. They could have done something together 🤷🏼‍♀️ Instead they spent the day playing on the PlayStation. Whatever floats your boat.

I wanted a day where the dynamics were centred around small children and not a preteen who would have changed the dynamics of the day completely. A preteen who got plenty of days out already with various other family members.

Because I'm OK with 13 yo DSS to sleep in some sort of micro flat/outbuilding (but both his parents are on board with the idea!)

See this is why I would never have a relationship with someone with kids. It’s hard enough with my own kids , I wouldn’t have the patience for someone else’s.
Hats off to you ladies!

@funinthesun19

I was once a wicked stepmother because I went on a day out to the beach and a theme park with my children and my dad and didn’t invite dsc along. Dsc was due to be at ours that day but a bit later on that morning, and dsc spent the day with their dad. They could have done something together 🤷🏼‍♀️ Instead they spent the day playing on the PlayStation. Whatever floats your boat.

I wanted a day where the dynamics were centred around small children and not a preteen who would have changed the dynamics of the day completely. A preteen who got plenty of days out already with various other family members.

I can't stand this ridiculous narrative that you can't ever do anything for yourself and/or your own children as a step mum! You must always involve the step kids!! Why, they have a Dad for that??! 🙄

Who had a problem with your day out, the kid or the dad?

Oh, and the ex wife kicked off with me about it. Ex got a slap on the wrist even though he could have taken the opportunity to spend some quality time together which she should have focused more on. Whatever.

I was pregnant at the time with my 4th baby which she had recently found out about, so I think she already had the hump with me. Not ex- just me.

Who had a problem with your day out, the kid or the dad?

The ex wife. 🙄

@funinthesun19

Who had a problem with your day out, the kid or the dad?

The ex wife. 🙄

Well that's even more outrageous than the kid or the dad having a problem. It's got the least to do with her what the kid does on Dad's contact time! Imagine the other way around - you dictating to her where and with whom she should spend her time. Imagine that'd go down well 🙄

I can't stand this ridiculous narrative that you can't ever do anything for yourself and/or your own children as a step mum! You must always involve the step kids!! Why, they have a Dad for that??! 🙄

It annoys me too. The stepmum should be able to have that time with her own children. Dads are always encouraged to have time with their first children/children from previous relationships if they have stepchildren. It’s always seen as very important and in fact you see it on here that every weekend should be devoted to a his nr children.
I think it’s just as important for mums with stepchildren to have time alone with their own children.

@YoungScrappyHungry I agree, I'm surprised we made it this far without someone chipping in