Redundancy and Child Maintenance

[TazSyd]

DP is currently furloughed and found out last week that he is at risk of redundancy. He has been expecting this and thinks that there is a high chance that he will be made redundant. He’s been there less than 2 years, so will only be paid 1 month notice and accrued holiday pay. As he lives with me he will only be entitled to £75 a week contributions based benefits.

We have a DD together and he also has another daughter who lives with her mum but stays with us 2 nights a week (in normal times). One weeknight and also on a Friday night and Saturday day - we pick her up from school on Friday and drop her back at her mum’s after dinner on a Saturday. As DP has been furloughed, we (well he, as I have been working from home so haven’t done much childcare during the day for either DD or DSD) have been having her more often - more like a 50/50 split. Despite his drop in income and the increase in childcare, he hasn’t reduced the maintenance he pays to his ex.

I’ve spoken to a couple of recruiter friends and they’ve said that the employment market has picked up a bit but realistically they aren’t expecting it to pick up properly until September. So DP could well be unemployed for a few months.

DP will pay £7 per week out of his JSA to his ex but this is a lot less than he currently pays (£300 per month). I know I have no legal responsibility for DSD but should I top up the maintenance to DPs ex?

We won’t know the outcome until later this week. DPs ex is at work tomorrow and Thursday. She’s going to speak to some childminders on Friday and get an idea of costs. She’s also going to speak to her employer and see if swapping her Saturday for a week day is possible. If not, she’ll have to go down to 2 days per week - if her employer agrees.

Her first reaction was for DP to get a min wage job, continue paying maintenance and for me to provide childcare for DSD on Wed/Thurs/Sat. I’d already told him that wouldn’t be an option though. Trying to care for DD, while working from home will be enough of a struggle.

Did you propose the option of your DP doing more childcare?

Yes, we said we could have her anything up full time until schools go back / DP starts work.

I think she needs to do the maths and work out what option is best.

Does anyone know about the change from claiming 80% of childcare to only 25% ish?

No idea. Do you know what she earns roughly?

If so go on entitled to website and put her details in and see what it tells you.

It may be on a sliding scale?

Just because one household earns more doesn't mean they automatically have more disposable income, they could have high mortgage and council tax... yes in the long run they will likely own their home but in the here and now they have to have somewhere to live.

The op has already said they will carry on laying whilst her DH is still receiving his redundancy pay etc.

Her first reaction was for DP to get a min wage job, continue paying maintenance and for me to provide childcare for DSD on Wed/Thurs/Sat.

She’s funny isn’t she? Did she just make all these childcare plans herself thinking you’d be cool with it?

He said that he’d been told that he is unlikely to get a career job in the next few months but one option would be for him to get a job in a warehouse / supermarket. She asked who would look after DD. He said Taz will do it while working from home. She said oh well she can still take DSD for 3 days. He said no, it’s too much to have two children whilst trying to work from home.

He explained her options:

We could continue having DSD from Tuesday to Thurs eve and Fri to Sat eve and more, if ex wants us to but maintenance will go down to £7 per week.

He can try and get a minimum wage job to tide things over but he has been advised by recruiters that he will have to do the shitty shifts if he wants to guarantee full time hours. Which means he won’t be able to guarantee childcare, so she would have to look into other options.

They’re going to have a chat when he picks DSD up on Friday. She’s going to spend Friday looking into childminders and looking at costs.

@funinthesun19

Her first reaction was for DP to get a min wage job, continue paying maintenance and for me to provide childcare for DSD on Wed/Thurs/Sat.

She’s funny isn’t she? Did she just make all these childcare plans herself thinking you’d be cool with it?

More likely that as those are his days to have his daughter (maybe not the Thursday?) She assumed he would be sorting out childcare. Either paying for it or asking his new partner (don't blame the op for refusing)

What's this 1800 benefits top up you seem to think she gets? It sounds pretty unlikely. You don't really read about people minting it on universal credit, do you? Tax credits used to pay more but UC are not all that exciting. It's a top up to a minimum standard of living. So with your partners princely sum of £7 she would be £28 over what the government considers to be a subsistence level of existence.

I had to go back and check that. So normally he does 2 days a week and would still cover that, the issue is the third day? Which is the Thursday?

How come the ex needs to move her Saturday work? I thought that was his day?

If she wants to receive 100% maintenance from his minimum wage salary then she will have to take responsibility for 100% of the childcare.

I think she knows she’s been well treated so far. 150% of maintenance, 3 days and nights of free childcare, plus all the extras that we pay for for DSD directly.

You sound totally obnoxious @TazSyd. This is her dad - it's not "free childcare!" Extras? It's her dad! 150% of maintenance? What parent does not want to look after their child? CMS is a bare minimum.

Why did you start the thread? To be praised for offering fifty quid a month to the greedy, grasping ex wife? Soon changed your story when reality was pointed out to you.

@OllyBJolly
Nailed it, what I suspected from outset but couldn’t articulate half as clearly as you’ve just done!

free childcare

And that, right there folks, says everything we need to know about the OP’s approach to her step daughter.

It sounds like they're having sensible conversations which from what it seemed to have been is a positive steps. The options have been laid out and in the end all this is temporarily.

He has 6 weeks or more to look for another job whilst still getting full pay. She can take some holiday when he starts a new job and get some help for childcare for the other days. What did she do previously doing school holidays? She will then be back at school and hopefully OP will be back in a more reasonably paid role.

It's really not all doom and gloom at the moment.

@OllyBJolly

You sound totally obnoxious *@TazSyd*. This is her dad - it's not "free childcare!" Extras? It's her dad! 150% of maintenance? What parent does not want to look after their child? CMS is a bare minimum.

Why did you start the thread? To be praised for offering fifty quid a month to the greedy, grasping ex wife? Soon changed your story when reality was pointed out to you.

I don't think she ever intended paying from her own pocket. Not that she should have! This was a weird way of feeling ok about her partner paying £7. Deep down she knows it's not ok. (And I expect he does have savings).

@dontdisturbmenow

It sounds like they're having sensible conversations which from what it seemed to have been is a positive steps. The options have been laid out and in the end all this is temporarily.

He has 6 weeks or more to look for another job whilst still getting full pay. She can take some holiday when he starts a new job and get some help for childcare for the other days. What did she do previously doing school holidays? She will then be back at school and hopefully OP will be back in a more reasonably paid role.

It's really not all doom and gloom at the moment.

And what did he previously do during school holidays?

I have to admit here that I don't live in a world where the nrp thinks that his responsibility is doing a school pick up and an evening meal and counting it as a job well done.

My assumption is you each have days eg 1/2/3 or 50:50 and on your day, however you work it (8am to 8am, 4pm to 4pm) you, the parent in charge that day, do the childcare. And if you can't do it, you organise the alternative.

There seems to be a parallel world where one parent does it if it fits round their job but if not, then that's not their problem it's the other parent's problem. Also, they might not be able to do their day all the time so the other parent will have to step and and reduce their working hours accordingly.

And that is the world where reducing payments to £7 is fine because of course all a child costs is a mcdonalds twice a week.

Not sure why the ex becomes responsible for childcare on your DH's days. That's his issue not hers. Regardless of what job he is working. Your basic premise is flawed. So, one week day and the Saturday are up to him to organise, based on pre-furlough arrangements. Presumably they can flex those days, where possible, to minimise the cost to each party.

Of course you have no responsibility to pay your DHs contribution to his first child. Nor does she have any responsibility to consider you, your DD or his household circumstance.

But even NMW @ 30 hours per week is c. £260 per week. His contribution would be a damm sight more than £7 per week he is proposing.

As an aside it is highly unlikely way her household income from benefits and part-time work is £1800, you really shouldn't use an earlier posters anecdote based on an old benefits system as a proxy.

Your DH us still responsible for childcare on his normal days. Just like if she lived with you full time and schools closed you would have to sort it out. What would you have done if your dh hadn't been furloughed? Told they ex she would have to find childcare on your days? No way is that acceptable,

He should take a minimum wage job and keep his child for the same number of days and nights he did prior to covid. Then he sorts childcare for those days like all parents. Whether that is paying a childminder (like you seem to think ex should) or rely on family - just like every other parent needs to.

He then pays cms rates as per new lower income.

I thought that the dad had taken on the extra time with his daughter to help the ex temporarily during lockdown? (Quite correctly). Then he had also left the maintenance at the normal level, as most people would approve of. So if these have become his days by default, he certainly would no longer be owing nearly as much maintenance! Maybe if he'd saved the £90 a month extra he had been paying he would have savings now to help out - but he gave it to his ex up front instead. And will of course have been paying for his DD when she is with him. Some people like ripping into be dads regardless of how they have actually been behaving.

I thought that the dad had taken on the extra time with his daughter to help the ex temporarily during lockdown? (Quite correctly). Then he had also left the maintenance at the normal level, as most people would approve of. So if these have become his days by default, he certainly would no longer be owing nearly as much maintenance! Maybe if he'd saved the £90 a month extra he had been paying he would have savings now to help out - but he gave it to his ex up front instead

Exactly.

DPs circumstances have changed. Due to our drop in income, we can no longer afford to be so generous. We have asked ex if she would prefer to receive full maintenance or reduced due to us having DSD on 3 (or more days per week). I don’t think some posters above realise that the CMS reduce maintenance if the child stays with the non resident parent on some nights per week.

@TrustTheGeneGenie. @RandomMess

I’ve put what I know of her details in to the government calculator and it looks like she could get £120 per month towards childcare. This is based on £90 per week childminder fees, or £360 per month (2 days a week as there is no childcare on a Saturday).

While I don't think you are obliged to cover any of the maintenance for your dsd, if you do choose to it is not your concern how the money is spent. If her mum uses it to pay off a credit card, she is still then using her own money to pay bills, food etc for dsd. Maintenance generally goes into the household pot, its not allocated specifically for the child.

She can take some holiday when he starts a new job and get some help for childcare for the other days

In what world do you live that you get to dictate when the ex takes her annual leave? Or just find childcare at the drop of someone else’s hat?