Redundancy and Child Maintenance

[TazSyd]

DP is currently furloughed and found out last week that he is at risk of redundancy. He has been expecting this and thinks that there is a high chance that he will be made redundant. He’s been there less than 2 years, so will only be paid 1 month notice and accrued holiday pay. As he lives with me he will only be entitled to £75 a week contributions based benefits.

We have a DD together and he also has another daughter who lives with her mum but stays with us 2 nights a week (in normal times). One weeknight and also on a Friday night and Saturday day - we pick her up from school on Friday and drop her back at her mum’s after dinner on a Saturday. As DP has been furloughed, we (well he, as I have been working from home so haven’t done much childcare during the day for either DD or DSD) have been having her more often - more like a 50/50 split. Despite his drop in income and the increase in childcare, he hasn’t reduced the maintenance he pays to his ex.

I’ve spoken to a couple of recruiter friends and they’ve said that the employment market has picked up a bit but realistically they aren’t expecting it to pick up properly until September. So DP could well be unemployed for a few months.

DP will pay £7 per week out of his JSA to his ex but this is a lot less than he currently pays (£300 per month). I know I have no legal responsibility for DSD but should I top up the maintenance to DPs ex?

@nohardsell

It must be hard being so perfect. Our discretionary spending is down too, because I'm furloughed. And we are skint.

It must be really lovely to be able to "save like mad" - not everyone can.

You've added nothing to this thread but spite. I'd rather a useless skint parent than one who is sorry horribly judgemental and lacking in empathy.

How about this:
He pays £150 for the month he is paid for his notice and after that the time paid for his holiday. That's what 6 weeks time to look for another job, anything, and during that time, continue to offer childcare during the day she works.

After that, if he still hasn't got a job, he pays half of his benefits to one DD and the other to the other DD, so £35 a week. You support your husband with the bills. You don't have to pay a penny towards your SD. Mum might take time off during August so she can have her back to her previous days.

That takes back to September when she starts school so childcare not needed any longer and hopefully he is back to some form of enployment.

So what would happen to him if he lost his job and didn't have a partner? Would he have to hand all the money over to ex and then live off nothing??

After that, if he still hasn't got a job, he pays half of his benefits to one DD and the other to the other DD, so £35 a week.

So he just doesn't eat? Can you not see that by putting all the bills etc on OP she is supporting SD from her pay?

You don't have to pay a penny towards your SD

She already is for Christ sake!

Would he have to hand all the money over to ex and then live off nothing??
No but he does have a partner. Just like a pr care would have to rely on her partner to support her if she lost her job. Why is it different?

It's not a case of supporting the children, he can do that, but supporting one's partner in difficult times.

As said, hrs got probably 6 weeks of normal income, so it's not like he is destitute tomorrow. It leaves times to look for another job.

It's quite obviously different because his child is not ops responsibility.

If he was on his own his ex would have to deal with it but he's not so op is seen as a back up. Well she's not.

I’ve been mulling over what DP getting a minimum wage job would mean for all of us. The recruiters have said that he wouldn’t be able to pick and choose his hours so he would no longer be able to provide childcare on set days.

Maintenance would be reduced to £150 per month. I would have to provide childcare for DD Mon to Fri, whilst working from home.

DPs ex would have to source childcare for 3 days a week (paid for out of that £150 maintenance) OR leave DSD in the care of her 11 year old brother OR see if her employer will let her take unpaid leave (she started the job in Feb and works 20 hours per week, so I doubt she has accrued much holiday).

If he was on his own his ex would have to deal with it but he's not so op is seen as a back up. Well she's not

Exactly. That’s what people need to remember. Some people really do think the first family are owed everything don’t they? This thread just proves it. Screw the op’s child, the op needs to provide maintenance first so the ex doesn’t feel the pinch. Ridiculous.

he pays half of his benefits to one DD and the other to the other DD, so £35 a week

Unless DSD only needs fed at her mothers house, and assuming the 50/50 split is agreed, technically only £17.50 is owed to the ex if we are going down this road...

I would have to provide childcare for DD Mon to Fri, whilst working from home

Get ready to be told that actually you should be looking after DSD at the same time to save childcare costs because “you knew what you were getting into”

@NoHardSell

Well done you. You can bet if my DH got made redundant I wouldn’t be volunteering to support DSS. He has two parents as do my DC.

I would say help out if you can but if he genuinely isn't, and can't earn for a time then everyone needs to do what they can. It seems unfair that OP is considering the financials of two households unless SD's mum is also doing everything she can eg. More hours, getting some maintenance out of other DC's father, etc

DP is picking DSD up at 6, so we’ll see what ex says then.

DP had a quick look at childminders today. The cheapest he could find was £90 a week for two days per week. Ex works Wed/Thurs/Sat and we don’t know if childminders work on Saturdays. Does that sound about right?

£90 per week is £360 per month, so if she has to pay a childminder to look after DSD on two days (more if she can find a childminder for the Saturday too), she’s going to be financially worse off. All those posters insisting that DP should get a min wage job, haven’t really thought that through. If DP gets a min wage job, my family will be better off financially but his ex will be worse off financially, due to the high cost of childcare.

If his ex is on benefits she would like get up to 80% ish of her childcare costs paid. No childcare at the weekend though!

TBH I think it's a really positive thing that your DH is getting the opportunity to do a huge chunk of parenting and homeschooling with his DD! Hopefully from a financial point of view it's not long term and eventually he can get at least some part time work etc.

Shows how misogynistic we are as a society - it's ok for the women not to work or not provide but it's not ok if it's the man and he does the childcare instead.

I have been a step parent reviving £0 maintenance, a parent receiving maintenance and a parent having to pay maintenance... experienced all sides of it!

it makes me laugh because if mum didn't work, no one would be saying she needs to get a job to support her children, however dad looses job through no fault of his own and yet he has been called all names under the sun.

@RandomMess

I agree. He’s spending quality time with both DD and DSD. He’s got the time to dedicate to homeschooling DSD and they’ve been doing nice things like going out for nature walks. Given that in normal circumstances DSD only sees him for 2 evenings and 1 day per week, I think it’s been great that they can spend so much time together.

The furlough has worked out well for both families but we knew it would have to end at some point - either returning to work or redundancies.

How did the chat go today? Xx

Firstly as a single parent, I think it's great that you are considering helping top up your husbands obligations and that speaks volumes about you as a person.
Secondly it seems your household has a massively different income from the child's mother if she is in housing association and if your husband is paying the minimum amount for 1 child at 2 nights a week and that works out at £300 a month that is roughly a 40k income which you say is 40% of your income which would mean that your household income is in the region of 100k.
Thirdly you have 2 adults in your house allowing one of you to do childcare and one to work. Does the other household have the same opportunity?
Finally the cms is not changing any payments due to one parent having different amounts of time with the children during Covid19 as it is 'a temporary situation' so i assume your arrangement is private, else i can tell you it won't change until husbands income reduces no matter how many days you look after your step daughter.

[quote DogBowlSpaghetti]@NoHardSell

Well done you. You can bet if my DH got made redundant I wouldn’t be volunteering to support DSS. He has two parents as do my DC.[/quote]
I certainly don't expect anyone else to support my children. I was talking about my own responsibility to support my own children. I think it's utterly pathetic that this man, father to two children with a decent salary, has apparently zero savings despite months notice of redundancy. Did he put no thought whatsoever into how he was going to continue supporting them? Perhaps he also thought his new wife would sub both families? What a lazy waste of space who is now too special to work a minimum wage job to support them when he can just give his ex £7 a week and have an easy life instead.

Op, why does he need a recruiter for a minimum wage job? It's not true at all that they are all on changing shifts patterns.

@nohardsell have you just come here to be nasty or?

He's not said he's too special for a min wage job ffs why don't you try reading what ops said.

@RandomMess

DPs ex says that she won’t get 80% of childcare. It’s changed (perhaps something to do with UC?) and she can only claim about 25% of childcare costs back.

Secondly it seems your household has a massively different income from the child's mother if she is in housing association and if your husband is paying the minimum amount for 1 child at 2 nights a week and that works out at £300 a month that is roughly a 40k income which you say is 40% of your income which would mean that your household income is in the region of 100k

I wish we had an income of 100k. The CMS minimum that DP should pay is actually around £210 per month. He has chosen to pay more, as we could afford it.

We have 2 adults working full time, so yes, our household income is higher than DPs ex because in her household there is only one adult working part time. Although, as a poster mentioned above, her income will be around £1800 per month (including benefits) plus £300 per month maintenance. We know her rent is £280 per month, for a 3 bed council house, as she told DP.

[quote TrustTheGeneGenie]@nohardsell have you just come here to be nasty or?

He's not said he's too special for a min wage job ffs why don't you try reading what ops said.[/quote]
I'm genuinely appalled anyone on a decent salary can think of going from £300 to £7 contributions

Where was his buffer?

I still think he has savings

That's the whole point of savings. To tide you and your children - plural over

Then we get all this about how a minimum wage job would have to involve shifts and then he would have to be an unreliable parent (instead of covering his time with his child by forking out for his own childcare if he can't do it. Oh no, just expect the ex to step in)

I'm genuinely appalled anyone on a decent salary can think of going from £300 to £7 contributions

Be appalled. He's not going to have an income. He's offered to have his child 50% of the time. He doesn't need to pay maintenance on top of that.

Where was his buffer?
Millions of people have no savings.

I still think he has savings
Ok miss Marple. Op has explained he hasn't.

That's the whole point of savings. To tide you and your children - plural over
Yes. I think we all know what savings are for. It doesn't mean we have the luxury of being able to save them.

Then we get all this about how a minimum wage job would have to involve shifts and then he would have to be an unreliable parent (instead of covering his time with his child by forking out for his own childcare if he can't do it. Oh no, just expect the ex to step in)

why would he pay childcare for his ex? On her days? Does she have no responsibility for her child?