DP's kids still not allowed to visit

[DrDetriment]

My DP's ex stopped contact with his children in March and has since then consistently used the corona virus to prevent then from coming here for their court ordered weekends. The children are now back at school but she's still saying they can't come because he has to bring them here by train. It's a quiet train and they would wear masks and keep social distancing etc. Surely if they are back at school it must be ok for them to use public transport or are we being unreasonable? The children desperately miss their dad and we are both worried about the impact that not seeing him has had on them.

The DC who lives with you... is that to the same mum? Are they seeing her?

Swapping the car won't fix this short term.
Asking someone for £50 to hire a car for the day would. Surely that's the sort of thing to put on a credit card or go into debt for? To see the kids?

Yes the teenager who lives with us is from the same mum but they currently refuse to see the mum due to her behaviour. This is their choice and not something me or the dad can do anything about. So mum is no angel I'm afraid.
Thank you for the posters who have supported me regarding the car - it really is the only thing that is left from my previous life plus I can't afford to change it. The Step Children are indeed one of my top priorities and you have no idea of all the other sacrifices I make for them on a daily basis. If it were not for lockdown the car issue would not be there and I'm interested to know how posters criticizing me expect me to magically buy a new car when the car dealers were all shut, find the money to tax and insure it etc all in time for access this weekend. And no I can't 'swap' cars with the person shielding for reasons I won't go in to.
In the end we bent over backwards to have a solution for this weekend which meant we were able to see them but the mum not only put barriers in the way but took the time to come and shout at me personally simply to vent her jealousy.
I was hoping for a little support on the step parenting board as it's fairly new to me and it's really not easy. Thanks to the posters who appreciated this and tried to understand. What I didn't expect on this board was to run into the usual MN view that mum is always in the right and the step parent or non resident dad are the ones being difficult. I will think twice before asking for help here again.

It's not something I've ever seen come up on MN before but I'm still struggling to believe there are actually people out there so self important that they would genuinely consider it an affront for their partner not to change their car to facilitate a contact weekend between them and their kids, though they and their ex choose not to have a car, and actually believe that that could lead to a breakdown in the relationship between parent and child that could rightfully be blamed on the partner.

The word "self indulgent" has been thrown around - well to be honest I'm struggling to think of a more self indulgent attitude from parents about what others should be expected to do for their kids, and when it is reasonable for them to lay on the guilt. I cannot actually imagine getting into a relationship with someone and then saying "so when are you going to change your car for my kids" and then "well you must not care about them or be "special" enough for us then".

Not to mention how obviously impractical it is to change your car during a pandemic, by this weekend, as a solution to a temporary problem.

Some people really do live on a different planet.

In my family unit we are a team. We all do things for each other, especially the big stuff. It makes for a nice life. No one is over indulged or has an over inflated sense of their own importance as you seem to imply @aSofaNearYou. It's part of being married and part of being a family. Cars are a shared thing. We have one cheap run around, a work van and a big car to for everyone and the dog in. All bought with one thing in mind- what works best for us all.

It works really well for us, and I think I I've made my point so I'll leave you to your different (but equally valid) way of being.

How many children are there, and how far is the drive? Can you get them one at a time?

You are a great step mum @DrDetriment. You have a step child already living with you full time as well. Don't be put off by some posters being unsupportive. You are doing your best for your step children which is more than their mother is doing. Good luck

Thank you MrsMuddle. I really appreciate it. This stuff is hard sometimes and I really am doing my best for some amazing children who a few years ago I didn't even know.

And no I can't 'swap' cars with the person shielding for reasons I won't go in to.

I can't see why you seem to have taken offence at this suggestion, even if it's not viable.