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Original poster

My already pretty weird stepsons just got even weirder, at least, *i* think so ;)

135 replies

Indyboymom4 · 02/01/2020 04:55

My super weird stepsons just keep getting weirder

So I’ve looked all over the internets and couldn’t find anything that could help me understand a new very strange (to me at least) thing my stepsons are doing so here I am asking you guys...very brief backstory is that up until several months ago, my husband had his own home and I had mine so on the weekends he had his boys they stayed over there & my four boys were of course at home with me. Our kids have very different personalities or things in common so we rarely hung out together. When we got married in July we gave up our respective homes and bought a house together. The upshot is his kids stay here and sleep in my kids’ rooms on the four days a month they are with their dad. I switched weekends with my ex-husband (the father of my kids) so we have them on different weekends. (Sorry for not being as brief as I promised!) Anyway, they seem very strange to me and I’m never sure if they really ARE weird or just seem like it to me because they are so different from my kids (they are all teenagers) here is the weird thing I have a question about...two of them choose to sleep together in the same bed even though there are two separate (but equal!) beds in the room. They are 16 & 14. There are no cultural differences since they are all the same race and were all born and raised in the same city in a midwestern state (in the US) does this seem odd to anyone else? Has anybody else dealt with something like this? Or am I the weird one for thinking it’s weird? I get that it probably feels not great to them to have to sleep in my kids’ beds & I totally understand & I try to make them feel comfortable when they are here. I just can’t wrap my head around them choosing to be in the same bed at their ages when they are already together in the very same room.

OP posts:
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BruceAndNosh · 02/01/2020 05:00

It means that you only have one set of bedlinen to change

Alexandra80 · 02/01/2020 05:21

Really op Hmm

How were they already "weird"? You don't sound like you like them.

GeorgiaGirl52 · 02/01/2020 05:24

Maybe your house is cold? Americans keep central heating higher than Europeans.

Apolloanddaphne · 02/01/2020 05:37

That's hardly very weird. They probably just like the closeness in a different house. It will make them feel safe.

MiniGuinness · 02/01/2020 05:40

No that’s not weird. Not giving them their own bedroom is weird though and pretty fucking disgusting.

Apolloanddaphne · 02/01/2020 05:47

@MiniGuinness It is hardly disgusting for the lads to use the bedrooms already there given there appear to be many children. Should OP and her DH buy a house with at least 8 bedrooms so these boys can have their own room on the few nights they are there? That would be ridiculous.

Mummyoflittledragon · 02/01/2020 05:48

No that is not weird. Not giving them their own bedroom is pretty fucking disgusting though.
^this. Poor boys went from having their own space in their fathers house to being an after thought. They need space to study for exams etc.

MLMsuperfan · 02/01/2020 05:53

Your casual description of them as weird with few other details doesn't feel like something that somebody making a kind and open attempt to bring them into the family would write.

Original poster
Indyboymom4 · 02/01/2020 05:54

it would be really great to be able to afford a house big enough for 9 people so everyone could have their own room, but unfortunately we can only afford a four bedroom house. Additionally, my kids live with me full time amd my stepsons are only here four days a month. I think that your response is pretty confrontational and rude. It is disappointing that you aren't able to express your opinion like an adult. If you want help with that, I am a licensed clinical social worker and work with clients having the same difficulties on a daily basis.

OP posts:
JolieOBrien · 02/01/2020 05:54

They sound completely normal teenage boys to me. When my son was a teenager he used to sleep in a woolly hat to keep his hair tidy at night. My Dad was visiting one morning when he came down wearing his woolly hat and my Dad remarked he looked like Worzel Gummidge who my son hadn't heard of (this was over 10 years ago) so he googled him and was not amused lol

My already pretty weird stepsons just got even weirder, at least, *i* think so ;)
Original poster
Indyboymom4 · 02/01/2020 06:01

I am kind and warm, ask them about their school/activities whenever they are here, get their dad to come out of our bedroom so that we can play board games or watch a movie together, and make special dinners that I know they like. I spend more time with them than their father (my husband) does. They do have some things that they do that seem odd to me,most of which I have been able to understand after doing some research or asking around to my friends. I was simply on here asking about one particular behavior that I hadn't yet been able to find information on or friends who have ever had a similar experience. I thought that this was a place that I could do here, but it seems that I was mistaken.

OP posts:
Mummyoflittledragon · 02/01/2020 06:01

Are you are seriously telling people how to adult? Grin Grin You really don’t get how this site works.

You have 4 boys = 2 bedrooms. One bedroom for you and your dh, one bedroom for the boys. Who is number 9?

On this site, step parents, who don’t make room for their partners dcs generally get their arse handed to them.

GlendaSugarbeanIsJudgingYou · 02/01/2020 06:03

Do they have their own bedsheets?

It may be a smell thing.

That's not a judgment on you or your boys OP but teens can be really bloody weird about this stuff.

Mummyoflittledragon · 02/01/2020 06:04

Cross post. No, you didn’t want to share with people, who’ve had a similar experience, you wanted people to agree with you. Those that didn’t are then told they need your expert guidance as a clinical social worker to be proper adults. The irony is, if you were such a decent adult and so good at your job, you wouldn’t be talking in such a disgusting way about children.

Original poster
Indyboymom4 · 02/01/2020 06:07

Oh I love that story! My kids have lots of quirkiness, too:) I'm sorry that I have offended so many people with my question about teenage boys sleeping in the same bed. I really just was trying to understand what they're doing...I think because their dad (my husband) never talks about them to me (even when I ask him to just tell me little stories from their childhood or fill me in on what they like, information on their personalities and such in hopes of being able to know them as people because I think that could help me relate to them more fully)

OP posts:
MLMsuperfan · 02/01/2020 06:08

I might expect a clinical social worker to write about behaviour being unconventional. I probably wouldn't expect them to describe behaviour as weird. I certainly wouldn't expect them to describe a person as weird.

SUBisYodrethwhenLarping · 02/01/2020 06:10

Crown HmmCrown BiscuitCrown Hmm

Happyandglorious · 02/01/2020 06:10

Op I would also find it weird.
Calm down everyone.

Number3or4 · 02/01/2020 06:20

Can you get them all their own bedsheets? How are both mattresses? They are teenagers, is there a possibility that one of your son is preventing your ss from using his bed, when he is gone? Or simply is there a power plug close to only one of the beds? Which means if the other kid wants a charged phone he needs to share a bed with his brother. Then fall asleep whilst using said phone

JolieOBrien · 02/01/2020 06:22

You could always use blow up beds OP because they can be packed away after use.

eaglejulesk · 02/01/2020 06:25

@Indyboymom4 - I'm sorry you are getting some unpleasant responses on this thread. It seems to me that some MNers have very dull lives and can only fill them with unhelpful, unpleasant remarks on other people's questions/comments. Maybe it's a UK thing, I don't really know, but there are some extremely obnoxious people here.

MiniGuinness · 02/01/2020 06:25

If you want help with that, I am a licensed clinical social worker and work with clients having the same difficulties on a daily basis
Yeah go on then I do, what’s the plan?
Bit concerned that a licensed clinical social worker calls children weird though. Where did you get your license? Did Greg over at British London print it for you?

GlendaSugarbeanIsJudgingYou · 02/01/2020 06:27

Good point about the power plug Number3.

They are not weird you just need to find out what they need.

Ginfordinner · 02/01/2020 06:30

You have 4 boys = 2 bedrooms

Mummyoflittledragon the OP has a 4 bedroomed house.

How many children does your husband have OP? And why do you have to “get your husband out of the bedroom”?

TBH I would also find 14 and 16 year old boy siblings wanting to share a bed unusual. What else do they do that you find weird?

pollyglot · 02/01/2020 06:31

Those poor boys. I cannot believe that this is for real. How can you talk about them in those terms?