Christmas with in-laws - arggghh

[Italianshark]

So there's me, my DP, my DSS & my DD who is 1. DSS is 6, and each year I've felt vomit in my mouth watching my partners parents (who aren't together) ask my DSS what he wants for Christmas, last year he went to my MILs and ran the tree shook it 'this is my sonic costume' etc. No surprise. No fault of his bless him, just grand parents who want that sense of 'I got you that' rewarding feeling, which I understand.

This year DSS mum calls us 'we need to do something he's just turned round and said 'Santa doesn't buy me presents you lot do' so we're upset he's starting to lose the magic. We're sticking to Christmas lists, posting them, others asking us for ideas from the list and then when they give them his presents saying 'I asked Father Christmas to bring it to you' rather than 'Nanny bought you that' lol.

It's long winded but we're trying to keep the magic alive. My DP sent out a text. This weekend

MIL - 'ooo I was gonna day you could go and get something from upstairs for me then but all your Christmas presents I BROUGHT you are upstairs'

FIL wife 'come show me what you want me and grandad to get you for Christmas'.

I'm like.... wtf? This isn't how it's meant to be. Us, DSS mother and her family are all trying and they're just so desperate for recognition of buying it that they're ruining it for him!! Also, my DD doesn't know better yet but next year I will kick off more because it affects her but I feel so protective of saving the magic for him, I don't know how to get it across without making it too much of a big deal!

I'm kinda just venting, kinda looking for advice, I'm just fed up of looking like the one who's trying to boss people about 😂! My DP is like 'well I've told them, so not much else I can do'

OP between the ages of 5-8 most children work out Santa/Father Christmas doesn't exist. However as they often have younger siblings so they continue with the pretence for a few more years, though some children feel pressure from their parents to do so.

PPs have pointed out that it is best for him to acknowledge presents that aren't given to him by his parents are from that particular individual.

(And yes this thread is batshit. You could have easily have talked to someone else in rl who isn't related to you about the right thing to do.)

Wow, nobody else on this thread has called anyone a cunt. Just you.

I’m sure all us rude cunts are very happy to have been of assistance [santa]

All presents are under the tree, when the dc ask we say Santa. Unless it a specific gift.

No need to gain extra thank you's.
Especially as half the time I can't remember who got what

Another one saying you’re the problem here. It’s good for kids to know people also give each other gifts at Christmas and to say thank you. Stop being so controlling and ‘kicking off’ about things

I actually like your second post/response much more than your first although I liked the felt vomit in my mouth bit.

I LOVE Batshit In Laws Christmas Threads.

Sorry, just saw your update. In between the cunt accusations it seems you’ve taken things on board. Good call 👍

Now I think I've missed a golden opportunity to say that I too, often feel vomit in my mouth when my PILs won't pretend their presents are from Father Christmas.

No need to gain extra thank you's.

Why would you not view saying thankyou as a positive part of a child's development?

@aSofaNearYou my dc do say thank you for the Day we spent together, the food -and the gifts but not individually.

As I have teenagers, I'm pretty sure my way has work quite well thank you

Santa brings stockings only in our house. Sorry!

Halloweenismyseason it wasn,t an insult to you personally, I just don't understand why some adults view it as other adults being vain and seeking thanks they don't need, rather than it being appropriate and positive to teach children to say thankyou to the person that bought them a gift.

You sound like a right chav after you're response. Of course people would tell you to there face you're unreasonable. I feel so sorry for you're inlaws having a dil like you.

You can't expect other people to buy your children gifts from Santa, it's CFery of the highest order. I would quite happily tell you that to your face too.

To be fair- FC did make an extra visit to my PILs. But only, apparantly, because there were always at least 10 grandchildren there on Boxing Day and he dropped off a selection of stuff that he had left over to lighten his sleigh before he set off back to the North Pole Presents from grandparents had already been chosen after a serious private discussion with Granddad and the Argos catalogue .

Oh dear, an update so rude that MN deleted it.

Santa doesn't buy every present! That would be ridiculous!

Gutted I missed the rude update..

He's not even your child, why are you trying to dictate who buys what and how its given? I say that as a stepmum. It's none of your business.

OP you are being totally unreasonable!
You can not control everything!
In my house Father Christmas gave the children their big present and stocking and everything else is clearly labelled from the person that gave them the gift, just like all presents we give are clearly labelled from us.
You would hate me as my nephew lives in Oz my sister in law is kind enough to pick up and wrap the present we have stored for him on line it’s completely over the top and always what he wants/needs and they film him unwrapping it so my children can see they pleasure their little cousin gets from the gift we got him. In turn this teaches them the gift of giving.

Yeah, grow up.