DSD has decided to be vegetarian

[Iamnotagoddess]

We have 6 kids between us 3 have now left home.

DSD who is 14 has decided to be a vegetarian.

Tbh I feel really pissed off (secretly, I would not vocalise this).

I work full time and DH travels a long way to get them so I always prepare the meals and we are a real “meat eating” family and I am not used to cooking veggie meals (I do things to feed a lot of people like Lasange, Cottage Pie) and am not keen on using substitute meat for everyone and haven’t got time to piss about with a separate meal, but obviously can’t insist DSD eats meat although she does go through a lot of fads.

How have others found solutions to this?

@MyCatHatesEverybody

Thank you

Yea, I understand the frustration of cooking with SD, she also did whatever she wanted, like playing with flour because she liked the texture, so I ended up doing everything while she was playing with it and the last time was when she was almost 12, not 4 or something. I tried to be patient, but it's just faster to make things myself.

In this case, I would just go with something ready-made or pasta with ready-made meatless sauce. Or remove meat from the meal, I've done that so many times when I didn't like the meat, it's not a big deal.

I absolutely love when teenagers go through fads or phases.

That is often how people learn.

She has never ever shown any interest in the environment or animal welfare

Maybe this is her way of exploring the world, and herself. She's only 14. How is she supposed to know about things?
Is this not how people learn?

I’m not really new
That's what you took from that post??

Veggie cooking is so easy and virtually no extra work. Chilli tonight - 2 pans. Fried mince in 1 and then used the same ingredients for the sauce split between the 2 pans. The veggie one had an extra tin of mixed beans and an aubergine chopped in chunks to bulk it out. All side dishes veggie anyway.
Shepherds pie - use frozen mixed veg & veggie gravy for the veggie one - no prep just cook in a pan and do that in a seperate dish.
You get the point.
Please respect her wishes as it’s something she wants to try so good for her.

Please respect her wishes as it’s something she wants to try so good for her.

Thing is, there is not a lot of respect for me is there.

How is her going veggie (if she does) disrespectful to you?

I get your point OP and if she's clearly not bothered about gelatine etc then it does seem as if it could be another fad. I would get the ready meals for now, if she has jelly or packaged yogurts/desserts with gelatine then make a point of telling her, every time, just what gelatine is, or substituting with a biscuit etc. (I am a meat eater but think it has no place in any dessert!). If she continues to eat them I would continue with the ready meals. If she listens, and proves it's not a fad, then I'd do a batch cook once a week for the freezer.

I really don’t see how she is being disrespectful to you.

It is glaringly obvious that this is about you and how much you don’t like the girl.

She's a teen, they're not renowned for their respectfulness.

I wouldn't be batch cooking or making my family eat quorn bolognaise . Just buy a box of veggie sausages and bung a few in the oven when making everyone else's dinner. I don't see why this is such a big deal.

I also think you're getting a bit of a hard time and I get where you're coming from. Not entirely the same but my youngest stepson is extremely fussy when it comes to food, and quite often I'll spend ages cooking something from scratch only for him to turn his nose up at it (and it's usually something he's eaten before but just decided he doesn't like it any more!) It's about having a bit of appreciation how much effort is put into cooking healthy meals rather than just throwing brown freezer crap at them. I'll repeat my previous advice which was to let her cook her own - she needs to learn to cook at some stage anyway so it will be a good life lesson.

Good for her! Hopefully the rest of the family will follow suit.

We won’t

Thing is, there is not a lot of respect for me is there

This I think is the crux of it.

You work full time, your DH works away. You have had to take on all the shitwork of blending a family with no thanks and no assistance.

You are just about managing it when one person chucks a spanner in the works. Doesn’t actually matter who did it or what the spanner is. But it isn’t a spanner, it is the straw on the camels back.

And I get that is is especially galling because the person doing it isn’t taking it as seriously as you are going to have to. Lots more mental load for you, and actually they don’t care enough to check the wrapper on an ice cream.

I think the only answer is to smile sweetly and sling some ready meals in the freezer. She is a teen, exploring her identity and place in the world. This is going to keep,happening in some form or another for the next few years. I think the key for you will be to ride out each iteration with a minimum of fuss and effort on your part.

We won't

I love an open minded attitude.

Buy a load of veggie ready meals/sausages etc. Bung in oven, same sides as everyone else.
Don't cook from scratch if you're pressed for time and don't make everyone have Quorn.
We have a mixed vegetarian/meat eating household. Always been this so we're used to it.
Lots of meals you can do that suits both.
A staple in our house was pasta with homemade tomato sauce with chicken added as a topping for those who wanted it.
Don't make it a battle.

I love an open minded attitude.

I love someone who tries to push their beliefs onto others....

I love someone who tries to push their beliefs onto others....

It's a board that has been totally designed to share ideas and answer questions..
It's the step daughter's 'belief' that is totally 'pissing off' the OP. Which is a shame.

@RevealTheLegend

It’s totally this.

I wouldn’t mind if I felt it was an impassioned belief but it really isn’t.

Interestingly OP i am actually in a parallel Version of this of this myself. But the difference is that I am able to control the situation a little more as it it isn’t a step child, DH is not working away and I don’t have other children to consider.

DD is 10 and interested in going veggie. but is she IS actually passionate about animal Welfare (I’ve suspected this would come for a while tbh)

We have agreed to work towards it, over the next year, ready to fully switch by secondary school. I’ve pushed the responsibilities back onto her so she has to meal plan, research and suggest alternatives, and learn to cook the meals she plans.

It is a minor PITA, that is all. (Though I am tempted to make the switch with her). And that’s the difference I have respect and assistance from the main players here, and it isn’t all on me to sort.

DD18 is veggie, has been for over 4 years. To be honest it has been no hassle at all.

Things like lasagna/cottage pie/chilli/fish pie etc all start out with a vegetable base - onions, peppers, leeks, mixed veg, tomatoes etc - some goes into the mince/fish/meat pot after the mince/fish/meat is browned/prepared, some gets a tin of mixed beans/chickpeas/frozen quorn mince/"chicken"/"beef strips"/tofu/nothing added.

Sausage and chips/mash/whatever - Linda McCartney "sausages" cook in one tray, Walls in another.
Pizza - one meat, one veggie with garlic bread, chicken wings, salad - she doesn't eat the meat one or chicken wings, we do... It is not hard.

We always eat "the same" together, just an extra pot/tray involved.

I’m a sort of veggie in a house of carnivores. So fajitas I do sweet potato, peppers, squash as well as the chicken. They have the chicken I have the veg.
I do a lot of rissotto and grill chicken to go on top. Sausage and mash, quorn sausages. Halloumi is great on the bbq or with rice, as are falafel. Quorn range is great with nuggets, sausages etc. Just keep them in the freezer and chuck the equivalent in for her. There’s so much lovely veggie stuff now it’s quite easy.
Omelettes, pasta, macaroni cheese. All easy to do without feeling like your cooking a million meals.
I’m not a strict veggie so things like stock and gravy etc I ignore, mainly because I can’t afford to do completely separate meals and the alternatives are a bit shit.

My biggest issue is dh nicking mine.

We’re not veggies. But eat meat/fish at home maybe twice a week if that.

Dm wouldn’t dream of serving anyone a meal without meat. Or ordering one herself in a restaurant. Whenever I’ve ordered a veggie option she automatically assumes there’s something wrong with me.

Ddad would happily be veggie. Or eat less meat.

I’d happily do it but enjoy nice meat - a nice steak or a nice piece of lamb is just lovely. So we make sure we have nice stuff when we do eat meat (apart from last night when we had a chippy tea and I had chicken nuggets. I love a nugg).

I can’t quite believe that you have meat with every meal.

Ok, sorry, I confess to not having rtft but cottage pie and lasagne can easily be adapted - if you have a small oven proof dish for her you can just put the non meat filling in that and add the meat last to the main versions. You can whip up a bit of quorn mince along side if you want to, but even without a substitute they are fairly easy to set aside a bit of the non meat part. Also - how old is she? Can she help with preparing meals and coming up with ideas? I'm an almost lifelong veggie so I have sympathy for you both!