DSD has decided to be vegetarian

[Iamnotagoddess]

We have 6 kids between us 3 have now left home.

DSD who is 14 has decided to be a vegetarian.

Tbh I feel really pissed off (secretly, I would not vocalise this).

I work full time and DH travels a long way to get them so I always prepare the meals and we are a real “meat eating” family and I am not used to cooking veggie meals (I do things to feed a lot of people like Lasange, Cottage Pie) and am not keen on using substitute meat for everyone and haven’t got time to piss about with a separate meal, but obviously can’t insist DSD eats meat although she does go through a lot of fads.

How have others found solutions to this?

I think what you aren’t grasping is the fad thing is what is pissing me off about thisz

But it's less likely to be a fad if you (collectively) get behind her with it. It's a positive choice she is making and a very mainstream one.

Again - I eat meat and I refuse to justify that to anyone.

We know that. We're wondering why, instead of complaining that you have to have to cook separate meals, you just make some macaroni and cheese. We know you prefer to eat meals with meat or fish. But what's more hassle, cooking two separate dishes or having a vegetarian dish that you may enjoy slightly less than a meaty one once or twice a week?

I don’t actually want to get behind her or change my diet.

and we want to know why, when it's the obvious solution ?

You want us to respect your decision to eat meat and yet you refuse to respect your DSD's decision not to eat meat.

I am not a vegetarian btw. But we have as a family cut back our meat consumption following Dd's vegetarianism and I consider it a positive thing.

Look the options are (as people habe said before) for the few nights she is with you

1. She cooks her own meal
2. You all eat veggie meals with no meat substitutes eg macaroni cheese
3. You eat meat substitues so you can have your usual meals eg use veggie mince in lasagne
4. You do optional meats eg you all have potatoes and veg, you have sausages and she has veggie sausages

You cant have it all the ways, you have to do some compromise somewhere. You cant say that you want none of the above

If it's a fad, just get a few ready meals in and see if it sticks or not.
You might want to try harder when your own dd is coming, the veg that go with a roast is a pretty low effort meal, even my mil does much better than that!

I have to say I think buying ready meals is an appalling idea on all sorts of levels.
Are we forgetting this is an adolescent girl, who needs support and education to learn to prepare and eat healthy balanced meals whether meat containing or veggitarian.Giving her a ready meal while the rest of you tuck in to bomecooked food is bordering on scapegoating for me.

and we want to know why, when it's the obvious solution?

From OP's posts it's pretty clear. DSD goes through fads as a method of seeking attention. Because that's just what some teenagers do, it's not unusual. Some of these fads have caused a lot of money to be wasted and are usually very short lived.

It falls to OP to manage these as well as all the other kids needs. If DSD's fads are indulged it has a knock on effect on the rest of the family.

OP has said she'll get some Linda McCartney stuff in, which is a reasonable compromise. I think if more than this is required, Dad needs to be batch cooking and filling the freezer.

There's a fine line between supporting a teenager's choices and pandering to them. DSD isn't taking vegetarianism seriously so why should the OP?

Full disclosure my parents did this with dbro (other reasons). He is now the only one of the nuclear family I grew up in who is obese.

It seems like you are being difficult just for the sake of it.

I have so little patience for people who cannot possibly cope the idea of having a meat free meal.

Hi op
Wow so much negativity on this thread?
Kids go through phases I agree, which is why I suggest you don't buy any artificial meat such as quorn, if she ends the phase you need to use or bin it.
So here's a few really quick and easy veggie meals I have previously made. No why should you stop eating meat if you don't want to, you could float the idea of a veggie day in the week if you want to?

Stuffed pasta and sauce
Tiabatta bread with cheese and tomato grilled
Rice with lots of veg and new potatoes
Spinach and cheese omelette
Pasta, peas, broccoli and cheese sauce
Veggie pizza with lots of veg toppings
Sweet potatoes wedges with loads of veg

You could cook a carbonara and add the bacon last so she can have the same without the bacon

Ask how she feels about fish? If she is happy to still have locally sourced fish that could help

I have had all of those meals and I like to cook quick and easy meals as I get in from work and I'm hungry. They also aren't things that require you to buy anything too out of the ordinary that would go to waste should this be a phase

Things can be hard and you sound very supportive just unsure how to make this change an easy addition to your already busy life.

Remember not all cheese is vegetarian.
Obviously fish isn't.

As a veggie I still felt uncomfortable about eggs and wouldn't have eaten omelette.

OP, many people who answer here are not stepparents and many are writing just because they read "vegetarian" and they believe in it. Your problem is that you feel unappreciated, you are tired and this change is annoying. I would explain to her that she has to take responsibility for her choice because you already have a lot of work. Let her help with preparing her own meals (or she can make herself sandwiches sometimes, my 11 year old has been doing it for a year) and see if vegetarianism sticks.
Like I said, myself I don't like meat, so for a while I called myself vegetarian and when I was a student, I used to make myself vegetarian pasta, which is just pasta+store bought sauce on top, nothing easier than that, or sandwich with cheese.
Of course, sometimes you can please her, when you feel like it. I'm sure you don't cater to your own children's every whim.
Feeling secretly pissed off is not good, I've done that and it just gets worse. What does your husband think about this?

It's not the dd who is creating the work though it's the dh, who would have a much harder time if he didn't have a new wife to cook for his family for him.

I'm vege as is dd .. I supported her when she chose but if you ate that bothered tell her eat round the meat and just eat extra veg. Is she wants other stuff give her a budget she can get it herself .

I’m not really new - I have been around for 10 years.

The thing with her cooking is that she is very immature for her age but refuses to listen to instructions.

I do baking wit her but it’s really frustrating as she insists she is right when she is wrong and refuses to believe me that it’s important to measure ingredients correctly etc. I still do baking with her but it’s not enjoyable and if DH does it with her they always fall out and it’s really stressful

She is clumsy and breaks things and my kitchen is tiny (and quite new!).

I would assume a magnum is vegetarian, why be so scathing about it? Their website says many are and they also sell vegan so it depends what flavour she had and it’s not at all obvious. You sound mean.

Iamnotagoddess...totally with you on the meat eating preference.

I am a relaxed carnivore (coffee, a little garlic and black pepper are only non animal foods I use). Been eating this way for several years. My way of eating means the death of 1 animal per year! 1 cow.

Interested in animal & human health, or the environment? Read Lierre Keith 'The Vegetarian Myth', or Google Dr Peter Ballerstedt or Alan Savoury.

She actually sounds like she struggles in many ways and you’re annoyed she can’t do simple things easily. Maybe she’s trying to make herself more interesting because it’s clear she irritates you. She will know. I feel very sorry for her.

I am not mean.

OP I think you're getting an unnecessarily hard time here. Logistics dictate you're the one who does the cooking so when someone is adding to your workload when you can see they're not taking it seriously then of course you're going to be thinking ffs. My DH and DSCs were all vegetarian so I adjusted my cooking accordingly and I'm sorry but I did find it more time consuming and expensive than the meat equivalents. Food was nice to be fair but I did miss meat as my DCS were with us for half the week's meals. I was cooking for 6 people so I literally had no space (hob, oven nor worktop) to do a separate meal for one person. Then one DSC went vegan so I just made everybody's food vegan - I had complaints from the veggies but I told them look you have to adapt like I had to adapt for you guys. There's not a lot they could say to that really.

OP just buy a handful of ready meals then make her use them up if and when she eats meat again.