DSD has decided to be vegetarian

[Iamnotagoddess]

We have 6 kids between us 3 have now left home.

DSD who is 14 has decided to be a vegetarian.

Tbh I feel really pissed off (secretly, I would not vocalise this).

I work full time and DH travels a long way to get them so I always prepare the meals and we are a real “meat eating” family and I am not used to cooking veggie meals (I do things to feed a lot of people like Lasange, Cottage Pie) and am not keen on using substitute meat for everyone and haven’t got time to piss about with a separate meal, but obviously can’t insist DSD eats meat although she does go through a lot of fads.

How have others found solutions to this?

I may be being dim here, but she isn't a vegetarian if she's happily eating chicken and other animal products is she?

I do my best to accommodate dietary requirements but this sounds like a teenager pushing boundaries and being faddy and I wouldn't be putting myself out too much.

I don't blame you not wanting to eat meat substitutes

You do know there are vegetarian meals that don't contain meat substitutes? But, wow, if only there was some easily available resource where you could type in the phrase 'vegetarian recipes' and get literally thousands of results.

Honestly OP it’s not that much of a ball ache. My youngest DD is vegan (dairy allergy, being vegan means I can always guarantee there no dairy in ANYTHING, it crops up in all sorts of weird places). I’d never done vegetarian food before let alone vegan.

Pasta
Jacket potatoes
Risottos
Roast dinners with no meat on

Quorn etc is vile

I don’t really want to cook vegetarian dishes, because we aren’t vegetarians.

I am just venting, y’know on a step parenting forum. I don’t hate her, respect her or anything like that.

I mentioned pride to evidence that we do support her. She has never ever shown any interest in the environment or animal welfare.

I regularly tell her and her sister off for running at and taunting birds and remind them that we have two bins (general waste and recycling) hence my scepticism.

Resent her sorry

Yday made everyone pizzas today I am doing omelettes and salad.

You may not be vegetarian but does that mean you can’t prepare or eat any meal without meat in it?

I would rarely eat a meal or want to eat a meal without meat or fish.

I am not a fan of being dictated to what me and the rest of us eat by one person either esp someone who doesn’t appear to be particularly committed to their cause.

*Iamnotagoddess

I don’t really want to cook vegetarian dishes, because we aren’t vegetarians
Many people are not vegetarian but don't have meat for every meal. You sound like you are just digging your heels in.

Dp and Ds are huge meat eaters but made a potato frittata and salad last night, earlier in the week we had paneer curry with jasmine rice and nan bread.

Nobody is saying have a veggie meal nearly all the time, just why not have a flexible attitude.
It may be a fad, it may not, who knows at this stage but being supportive and encouraging goes a long way especially towards your future relationship.
To be honest, I think it's about being kind.

In your shoes ( bearing in mind I'm a veggie) I would still have my meat meals but chat about why she wants to be veggie. Its showing an interest, accept that she won't get it right all the time. Maybe help find receipes by doing a search including her favourite food, get her to make a meal for everyone sometime and praise it.
No one really noticed mearvwas missing ir exclaimed ' I'm not a vegetarian!!'
If she goes back to being a meat eater, fine. She maybe ' jumping in the bandwagon ' as you out ut but shes at the age if trying to find out who she us, what he beliefs are and so on.
It sounded awful with you almost mocking her.

My dd is veggie and the rest of us aren’t. It’s quite easy actually. There are tons of quorn type substitutes you can use when you want to have meat - you Just Chuck one of those in the oven at the same time. We had roast beef the other day and I did dd a quorn chicken and leek pie which she said was really nice. We also do a lot of pasta bake type dishes - I put hers into a separate pot minus the meat and cook at the same time. If you’re really desperate there are even quorn and other veggie ready meals in Tesco and Morrison’s that you can just bung in the microwave! Dd really loves the Morrison’s mushroom stroganoff one from Morrisons.

It doesn’t have to be really complicated, it’s as difficult as you let it be.

My DD is also veggie but it’s recent and she doesn’t live here.

She comes to eat and either we decide a compromise beforehand.

So you already know how to cater for a single vegetarian.

She’s been here once since she stopped eating meat and I did a roast for the whole family and she just ate veg.

Did you whinge about being pissed off with her choice on MN though?

A) not on the step parenting board
B) she is an adult and has made an informed lifestyle choice and she isn’t arriving at 6pm on a Friday night needing to be fed when I have just got in from work.

I get sick of having to meal plan as it is tbh.

Well you can refuse to make her veggie options, or let her cook her own meals and she can ear round the meat in your meals or starve. Not sure how well that relationship will continue but hey you seem to want that to be the solution

And re the glasses, they are a really weak prescription, I can’t see any difference in them to my normal vision and neither can OH, but it’s by the by.

I get sick of having to meal plan as it is tbh.
I get that. Even taking me( the veggie) out of tbe equation I hated the dullness of tea time when the kids were young.
As I suggested maybe work with her for ideas. Have a look at the part time vegetarian cook book which is veggie meals that are adapted without much fuss for meat eaters?

Then get the microwave veggie meal, ideally one she’d like if you were feeling really kind.

You sound like such a caring sm who lives her dsd and respects her choices even though you don't agree with them. She's so lucky to have a sm like you.

Oh, wait.

At 14 I went veggie, cooked all my own meals, and encountered the same shitty attitude. I'm now 43 and still veggie and still get a shitty attitude from family over me being "awkward." I'm now NC with most of them.

Sounds like your main issue is with your Dp here and the share of the workload. Take things up with him and stop scapegoating your dsd.

Yes I’ll let her starve

She only had to eat chicken enchiladas on Friday because she didn’t say anything (she ate 6 so she was hardly reluctant) yesterday I made pizza dough so everyone (specifically her) could pick their toppings.

@notacooldad

Thanks I will.

I don't understand what the issue is then? She ate what you put in front of her and you adapted a meal?

Maybe she'll quit after a week, maybe she won't but you can adapt (or not) meals as you please.

If everyone is here (so 5-8 of us) it’s easy to make a lasange or a stew (also cheap).

I then have to do her a separate meal which is a hassle that’s all, but yes I can get her a microwave meal.

As said previously, DH isn’t physically here all week so the workload will never be even.

I really don’t understand the issue with having a meat free meal - spinach and ricotta tortellini, chickpea curry, halloumi burgers, omelettes, beans on toast, chilli with added beans and veg instead of a meat sub etc

I’m not vegetarian but often have meat free meals just because I fancy them.

I get not liking Quorn or not wanting to eat it. I read on here somewhere recently that there’s a theory that quite a lot of people are intolerant to Quorn but because such a small number of people eat it, it’s not been fully studied yet.