DSD has decided to be vegetarian

[Iamnotagoddess]

We have 6 kids between us 3 have now left home.

DSD who is 14 has decided to be a vegetarian.

Tbh I feel really pissed off (secretly, I would not vocalise this).

I work full time and DH travels a long way to get them so I always prepare the meals and we are a real “meat eating” family and I am not used to cooking veggie meals (I do things to feed a lot of people like Lasange, Cottage Pie) and am not keen on using substitute meat for everyone and haven’t got time to piss about with a separate meal, but obviously can’t insist DSD eats meat although she does go through a lot of fads.

How have others found solutions to this?

My DSD did the same at 14. I’d gone veggie at a similar age (I’m not now) so I bent over backwards to help her with working out food labels and recipes she might want to try. It lasted 2 weeks when she fancied something meaty when eating out

All I can hear are screaming great chunks of cognitive dissonance, OP.

You might want to ponder why that is.

Just buy some veggie ready meals for the nights she’ll be with you, or batch cook something veggie like bean chilli or veggie lasagne and portion it. If she’s unhappy with that she can decide how to help you with cooking.

Oh gosh, you sound like you really dislike her.

How often does she eat with you? Surely it's not a hassle to cook meat free a couple of times a week? This isn't forcing you to become vegetarian, as you suggested earlier. You can eat meat whenever you want, but you're griping over cooking a few meals per week that are meat free. Other posters are correct, meat eating is terrible for the planet and everyone should be cutting down on it. Your dsd has the right idea. It doesn't matter if she eats jelly or not.

If it's really such a big deal that the rest of you all eat meat at every meal then buy a few ready vegetarian things in like some falafels or burgers or some veg lasagne. I don't think this is anything to do with the meat, it's down to the fact you don't like your dsd. And that will be coming across, never mind the fact that you think you're resenting her 'secretly'.

I’m vegetarian and my husband isn’t. Obviously easier when you’re the one doing the grocery shopping, but why not just batch cook and freeze? So like one day where you have a bit more time make a Qourn lasagne alongside your regular lasagne. Then cut it into 6 servings and the next 5 times having lasagne for dinner you can just defrost her portion in the oven. There are also plenty of cheap ready meals that I buy when my husband wants to have chicken or something, so I don’t have to cook for just myself. If she has the time you can also have her cook her own meals.

I get being sceptical, but she’s trying to do a good thing. I say I’m vegetarian because it’s easier than explaining everything I do or don’t eat, but I do actually eat fish about once a month because after being veggie for a year my hair was falling out and I was super anemic. The doctor told me to take fairly expensive supplements or go back to fish. I get that it’s annoying, but if I say I’m pescatarian I spend the next 20 minutes explaining every facet of what I eat. In terms of her being young, maybe it won’t stick, but you also don’t want her resenting you if she thinks that’s because of a lack of cooperation from her family.

It's ok for your DD but not DSD.

God, you just sound unpleasant OP

Can our DH not get some nice veggie ready meals on his way back from collecting her? She's his child, not yours. It wont take much to shove a ready meal in the oven. if she wants to eat the meat you've cooked, let her have it. So what? Is it really such a big shock that a 14 year old wants to do something but doesn't have the willpower or is trying to get a reaction or attention seek or whatever it is you think shes doing? If you are convinced shes attention seeking and jumping on a bandwagon, she'll give it up sooner or later if that's the case.

I feel sorry for your DSD, she is doing something good and you should be supportive of her. This post makes me sad. I'm a vegetarian and its no bother to cook an extra meal for my meat eating son.

Support her! She's doing a really good thing and the environment will be an even bigger problem for her generation than for yours. Of course you don't have to give up meat yourself, but you could consider not including it in every single meal.

She's his child, not yours.

What a shitty attitude. When a stepchild stays with dad and his new family, they are part of that family.

I get the impression the stepchildren only visit every other weekend, if not less. The way the OP is going on you'd think it was every other day!

I’m amazed that someone eats meat or fish at every single meal.

Batch cook a load of veggie meals ( lasagne, chilli, spag vol etc) and freeze them then just microwave them when she's with you.

If you're having burgers then she can have a veggie burger or if it's chicken you're having she can have a Quorn fillet

I don't eat meat but DP does and I really don't mind cooking separate meals, it's not that difficult

She is gay and we took her to pride today.

Am I the only one who doesn't understand the relevance of this?

She is gay and we took her to Pride today

Ok? Why is that relevant? Is this another reason you don't like her?

YABVU, not at all accommodating and your posts come off as if you dislike the girl.

Ok? Why is that relevant? Is this another reason you don't like her?

The OP lists it as one of the "wider things that are irritating me", so apparently so.

Veggie of 30+ years here.

Why are you so anti this?

Do you understand that a diet heavy in meat particularly red meat actually isn't healthy for anyone?

Do you NEVER eat meat free dishes? My parents were very traditional in their tastes but even they never ate meat EVERY day - most people can't afford to!

How often does she visit? Would I be right in assuming you have a freezer, cooker and possibly microwave?

In which case I don't see how it would be particularly difficult to do a combination of sometimes having a meat free meal for the whole family (doesn't have to be anything difficult or "weird" -

pesto pasta {with veggie pesto}macaroni cheese
bean chilli
tacos or wraps where fillings are laid out buffet style and she can have all but the meat element, you could instead get her the quorn chilled chicken pieces that are ready to eat, or falafel or veggie "bites"

batch cooking your usual favourites but a veggie version, serve a portion night of cooking, freeze in single portions the rest for her to reheat & eat on other occasions

making meals which are 'meat and 2 veg' or "and chips" types and substituting the meat element for her {there's loads of options now from quorn & similar - "fillets" "steaks" "escalopes" to veggie fingers, Cauli cheese grills, nut cutlets etc- no more effort than cooking for rest of family)

"I do not want to eat Quorn." Have you ever even tried it?!

Even if you have and don't like it, it's by NO MEANS the only veggie food available, it's actually quite a new product and a good number of veggies don't use it.

"I think we need to know more about why she can't cook meals?" I don't think it's a case of can't cook more op doesn't want her cooking when op cooking for everyone else, though why she can't cook when op done, especially if a simple "on toast" meal, micro meal or something simple like jacket potato, omelette etc I don't know.

Your post at 1947 is mostly completely irrelevant to this! Except to show you seem to resent her on a general level - which isn't her fault!

As for her not doing it "properly" depends on her stated reasons, if she's claiming ethical then yes still eating chicken and gelatine is out of order, but she's only 14 and simply needs educating. If it's purely preference, that's her choice, but she needs to be honest and not say she's veggie but more "meat free".

It dies sound like at most she's at op's weekends, possibly not every weekend so max 4 nights out of 14?! I really don't see how making minor adjustments/accommodation 1-2 nights a week needs to be seen as so inconvenient.

Op just to pick up the point you made about her glasses. If she can't see the whiteboard without them then yes she should wear them all the time. She will need to see things further away then a few metres.

Give her a break, she's 14.

You've had a lot of good suggestions here.

She has to wear glasses for the whiteboard at school, she wears them all the time even though I keep telling her it’s not good for her eyes.

It might be that once she’s worn them for a while she can’t go without them.

Once my glasses are on that’s it for the day. It makes me feel queasy trying to do things without them. If I don’t put them on in the morning I can get by without then, buy not once they’ve been on.

Dd went pescatarian at nearly 8 and full veggie at nearly 10. We all try very hard to support her. I would say 80% of our meals are vegetarian. Yes it takes work, but it is doable and ultimately heathier and greener.
For example this week we are having :
Pizza
Chicken/Halloumi on BBQ with spicy rice
Stir fry
Pasta pesto
Spinach and riccota callalloni
Burritos

Oh God, judgy at meat-eaters much! I don't blame you not wanting to eat meat substitutes. I would suggest to her that at 14 she can learn to cook her own dinner. No way would I be messing about with separate meals.