DSD has decided to be vegetarian

[Iamnotagoddess]

We have 6 kids between us 3 have now left home.

DSD who is 14 has decided to be a vegetarian.

Tbh I feel really pissed off (secretly, I would not vocalise this).

I work full time and DH travels a long way to get them so I always prepare the meals and we are a real “meat eating” family and I am not used to cooking veggie meals (I do things to feed a lot of people like Lasange, Cottage Pie) and am not keen on using substitute meat for everyone and haven’t got time to piss about with a separate meal, but obviously can’t insist DSD eats meat although she does go through a lot of fads.

How have others found solutions to this?

You sound irritated by her and as if this is attention seeking.

I agree with this. It could become a bit of an “issue.

OP you’re the adult, provide some veggie meals (or get her father to), and leave her alone to decide what she puts in her mouth.

My own Dd became veggie at 18, we had been eating meat every day, Dh comes from a farming background so all big meat eaters. 6 years later the whole family are almost totally veggie.
We don’t miss meat at all.

Or try this method:

I feel your pain. My dd is a veggie which I thought was a fad, but 5 years on I guess it isn’t, as still vegetarian. I’m like you and work f/t and there are five of us. Tried quorn but DH says it tastes different and he doesn’t like it. I have to make her a separate meal every day as two of the family don’t like fish either, so it’s trying to juggle things to keep everyone happy which is a PITA when you have put in a full day at work and then have to think what to cook when you ge5 home. I don’t moan at her though, as I do think it’s a good thing as she tends to eat far healthier, and doesn’t eat half as much junk food as she used to.

So in one post your dh is a pescatarian and in another he wouldn’t eat a meal without meat or have I read that wrong op?

OP, I am a meat eater who has been married to a non-meat eater for 15 years. My first husband was a vegetarian and my son has become a vegetarian for the last 5 years as well. In all I have been a meat eater living with non meat-eaters /vegetarians for over 30 years.

I do find it quite annoying sometimes. In particular I had a rebellion about quorn about 1 year ago. DH loves the stuff so we did eat it reasonably often for a long time but ,quite frankly apart from one or two of the products, I was starting to really really dislike it (never liked it much to be fair) and the mince is pretty rank (to me anyway) so have stopped using it as much

I do appreciate that it means my meat consumption is much much lower than it would be otherwise which is a good thing but vegetarian food really is more work to make and prepare, it just is.

Left to myself I would live on tinned mackerel, grilled chicken, grilled fish and the odd steak/lamb dish all with veg and salad done in different ways. I might eat the odd casserole, chilli and pasta dish but would definitely eat more simple marinaded grilled meat as it is easier to get a tasty meal without too much effort. BUT I understand and respect the food choices of my family and try to accommodate them

What I would do if I was you would be to mainly cook vegetarian when you can

So I do a cannelloni dish stuffed with ricotta, spinach and vegge parmesan substitute and some breadcrumbs t. This is instead of lasagne which is actually quicker to make and I prefer than a vegetarian lasagne.

Pea risotto is also popular here but I do put real parmesan on mine which make it much nicer i.m.o

I would make burgers and wedges but use substitute veggie burgers for the veggie

Fajitas, use quorn for the veggie, you just need to fry in two pans, one chicken/meat, one quorn

Pasta - stick to vegetable sauces if possible- easier to do than trying to mix. I have fantastic lentil and walnut ragu that is not too bad at all and even I like it .
Cottage pie -try lentils instead of meat. I am generally not keen on shepherds/cottage pie and find the lentil ones really really bland ( and I have tried about 20 different recipes) but they are edible and DS/DH like them so we do have that.

Bean chillis are popular with DS and DH, though quite frankly I loathe them as they just always taste of beans to me, but I make and eat tham as it is a healthy meal and your family may like them.

Try some of the veggie options, some might be liked

Apologies op I read a post next to yours as yours someone else’s dh is pescatarian

How many meals a week do you have to cook for her op?

You can't eat a meal without meat? So not beans on toast or a cheese sandwich?

I very much doubt she is doing it just to piss you off.

Just buy some frozen veggie burgers and chuck one in the oven for her instead of the meat element. Sounds like you're a good cook, so if she's not serious about this she will crumble soon and if she is serious then at least you're feeding her appropriate meals that she will eat and aren't too much bother for you.

I respect that people are vegetarians

People generally. But not your DSD.

Why should everyone else have to change their diet because she has decided to eat meat?

Why should she not be able to change her diet because others aren’t willing to try and support that? Will it kill you to sometimes make a veg curry or lentil bolognaise? Just over- make and freeze portions for future use.

Tell her fine she needs to plan, shop for, pay for and cook her own food 😂

Do the other vegetarians on here not share the OPs skepticism at all?
I get so fed with people declaring themselves vegetarian... except at Christmas, or apart from steak, or whatever. I love that people reduce their meat consumption and applaud everyone who does (coz environment yah), but surely in this day and age people understand that vegetarian means doesn’t eat meat (or chicken in the SDs case). So this would annoy me too. I’m sure the OP will be polite and won’t starve SD or force her to eat meat, but I can understand her frustration.

I feel your annoyance OP and I am vegetarian. It is time consuming and frustrating to make variations of the meals to cater for vegetarians/ meat eaters and anyone else in the family with dietary preferences. I think some of the posters are being unfair you work full-time and the little free time you have your going to have to spend more time and in the kitchen or meal planning.
I think there are some good suggestions on this thread buy some vegetarian ready meals for her and find a couple of meat- free meals that the entire family will eat ( pasta dishes are usually a good choice). Organise your usual meat based meal and just stick a jacket potatoe in the oven and she can have it with beans and cheese. Good luck OP!

You do know your ‘free range’ doesn’t mean they are happily clucking outdoors? They are crammed 1000s in a shed just not in cages; miserable existence. Industrial fishing is destroying our oceans and sea life so please don’t kid yourself meat consumption isn’t harming the environment.
Well done to your DSD for making a decent moral decision.

At 14 surely she can just make herself a sandwich?

Pretty sure the free range eggs I buy from the farms I pass every day at work are free range and I live on the coast and buy fish from the port side fish mongers but please continue to patronise me.

I also grew up on a farm.

And she hasn’t made a “moral decision” she has jumped on a bandwagon like she always does completely uneducated about why she is doing it.

YABVVVU. I went veggie at 11. Im 37 now and am so grateful my mum and stepdad supported me with it. My dad was a twat over it and I refused to eat at his house for him sneaking meat into meals. For what it's worth I don't eat quorn but make a mean mushroom bolognsaise sauce. Lasagne doesn't need meat in it, you can use anything. Your dsd needs support and why should he eat meat and why should you be pissed at him for making an ethical choice?

Does it really matter why she's doing it though?
Surely making a small effort to go with it is the right thing to do is better than having her possibly resent you further down the line.

@cyberworrier sometimes it is hard to cut everything out at once. I may have slipped up the odd time when I was 14 and first attempted to be vegetarian but now I'm 30 and vegan. If other vegetarians had started having a go at me I'd have been more likely to go fuck it and just give up. She's 14 and trying, give her a break.

She doesn't sound very happy and neither do you. I think family counselling might be the way to go.
You could ask your DD to send you some suggestions for vegetarian meals.

OP
I think you’re the patronising one; saying she’s ‘jumping on the bandwagon’ and ‘uneducated’ yes because you were perfect at 14, you sound delightful regards your DSD

Apologies my empathy to both sides offends. I’ve offered suggestions to the OP as to how to accommodate the SDs vegetarianism and would never belittle or have a go at someone about their choices- I am only questioning it on a random forum... - so I would never mock the SD! But, I would be waiting to be convinced (privately) , if the person was still eating meat occasionally. It may well be the SDs path, it may not be. I don’t think OP (or me) are meanies to question chicken eating vegetarians, 14 or 40! However it was mean of OP to call her uneducated.

Dd has been veggie since 13. I have several approaches depending on meal - sometimes I use a substitute or veggie meal for everyone, sometimes I make a veggie meal and cook a meat dish on the side, sometimes she gets a ready meal/frozen veggie option, sometimes I cook something for her specially (and freeze extra portions). It's a pain I admit but reducing meat for us all hasn't done us any harm and some dishes are easily adapted (I make Meditteranean veggie pasta and sprinkle pancetta on after for instance).

Ps the "chicken" quorn pieces once in a sauce eg enchiladas tastes the same as chicken - I use 300g bag of quorn plus a can of red kidney beans, 3 peppers and 2 onions to one enchilada kit (Aldi is cheaper). But for 8 you might need 2 pans so perhaps make one meat as well?