Just want people's opinions on whether it's reasonable for me to feel unhappy about this or if I am being unreasonable and ought to lighten up.
I have a one year old son with my partner. He has a 12 year old son from a previous relationship whom he visits for a few days each month. It's a one hour flight away. They stay at my partner's parents house ie. Granny and grandads.
For the first nine months after our baby was born and whilst I was on maternity leave we have been flying over to granny and grandads every month during my partners visit to see his 12 year old son. Now that I am back at work, baby and I are going there maybe every four or so months.
My partner has talked about taking our baby over (without me) on the occasional long weekend. Being that an extra adult flight fare is much more expensive than just taking a baby.
I don't feel happy about it, for a number of reasons,
- I feel left out and unimportant. As long as baby is there is all that counts. They'll have a blast without me.
- my partners son is autistic and spends a lot of time in front of the screen playing video games. When we are at granny and grandads my partner ultimately ends up being in the living room hanging out next to his 12year old playing video games with him or just sitting there. I am so scared that our baby will be influenced by all the screen vibe.
- I don't feel happy that my partner has to jump on a plane every month already but he must visit his son, therefore it isn't a choice for him. I don't want my baby having to jump on a plane as well if he doesn't need to. If I'm not flying, then baby doesn't need to fly.
Grandparents and 12year old son would be delighted to have baby over, but is it my duty to keep them happy even if I'm not? It's not that we don't visit at all, it's just not at the frequency that would be ideal for them. My parents are a 24hour flight away and they'll be lucky if we manage to see them once a year.
My partner isn't pushy about it and does see that I don't like it, but the grandparents are always hinting at it. I just don't feel comfortable and happy about it but don't know how to justify it to them.