How do you deal with the biological mum

[Jessie20]

So I have been a step parent for the last 5 years had ups and downs with the biological mum, only brown my fuse twice one of which was this week!
Anyway, myself and my husband booked a family holiday along with our son together to beautiful Cornwall and his daughter with previous partner. We told the mum months ago the date, told the daughter then last week the mum decided as social services are on her case for another reason with her other children that now the daughter wasn’t allowed to come. With that we also told her she needed to sort a passport out as we were booking a holiday abroad, this was mentioned time and time and time again. Think she thought my husband was chatting shit! So we booked it, within 10minutes she kicked up a massive fuss! The abuse we received you would be shocked, Bringing our son into the argument too! Now it’s her fault she has not got her daughter a passport does she expect us to put our life on hold!
I’ve also got on with her for the sake of the daughter but from this I just don’t know how we can go forward as she doesn’t have one nice bone in her body! Awful woman and twisting her daughters mind too!

Agree, stepmothers get flamed on this forum no matter what they do.

Nothing wrong with saying 'biological mother' in my book. That's what she is.... but she is being a bad mother right now and using her kids to score petty points.

Not an easy situation OP. I think you're in for the long haul with this one.

Just try to always think of the welfare of the child when making your decisions, that's the best barometer I reckon..... and keep the biological mother at as much distance as you can.

wishing you the best of luck.

Goodness, she's the mother, the only mother the children have. No need for the "biological" prefix.

And she's not using the children to score points. The father hasn't bothered to sort out getting parental responsibility. He's had years to sort it out and done nothing. He could have sorted it out ages ago, got passports on his own and organised whatever he needed to.

I reckon OP has got the point about the biological mother thing.

Unless your DP gave her the £50 for the passport - then why does your DP who can not be arsed to get parental responsibility, expect the mother to pay for the passport, for her daughter to go on holiday with their father. She may never go on holiday abroad - so why should she subsidise the holiday cost of her EX.

That is not SM bashing but that is lazy fecking father bashing.

Your title asked how you deal with the biological mum? In short, don't bother and that's with all due respect. I can tell you're very upset with her but the easiest way not to waste your life being angered by the mothers actions is just live your best life. Take the holiday with your son and let her explain to her child why they can't go. It's not your responsibility or issue. If you are making the offer to do something for or with that child and for whatever reason the mother blocks it just breathe move on and carry on planning and doing things for your family with the door left open in case things get any better on her part. If indeed any of it was your partners fault then let him take the flack.

Why hasn’t your partner sorted the birth certificate?

If you and he want the child to go on holiday then you can pay for the passport.