So my partner was asked when we can have the girls over Christmas. We have just got our rota and said we could do
Friday 28-Saturday 29th (our Friday to have them and he could drop them back with me)
Friday 28-Sunday 30th (he's working 8-3 and then I am working 5-11pm so would take them on my own)
Friday 28th- either 1st or 2nd January (dependent on our rota)
So the ex wife has said no we can only have them overnight if we book a hotel in the home town and have them there as she has plans (although told us she kept our weekend to have them free.) Hitels are stupidly expensive at Christmas and I have work the Saturday. So my partner is going in the Friday, I will have to find a babysitter somehow Saturday and return Saturday night: they will sleep on his mums sofa and air bed. She's not happy only because the ex won't allows them to us. The girls asked and we just said 'mummy said she has plans so you can't this time.'
So we went yesterday for our visit day, and took the presents up to save him taking them all up on the train and I bought half of them (said I wouldn't but didn't like the thought of them going without.) so we let the girls open half of them so I could see them. Cue the ex wife got stroppy about it and says it's unfair that the girls got presents from us before her. Although hers are from 'santa.' Then she did send a stroppy text because the girls asked why they couldn't stay at daddies and why mummy wasn't letting them see Santa with daddy. (We were visiting FIL yesterday and he asked what I was buying boys with their Christmas money from him and I explained we were going to a local amusement park, nothing big just a few small rides and animals and indoor play area where they have a ice show, baking with mrs Claus and can pick a toy from a huge room it was £12 for the boys and £5 for adults. A normal Santa grotto around here is £10 so not much different and I said I would sue it to buy them treats there instead of more toys. We asked for girls to go and the mum said no even though I was originally planning it on our Friday so they could have. We didn't realise girls overheard as they were listening from the lounge whilst we were in kitchen and asked us why they weren't going. So we explained mummy had said no.' We were simply being honest and not fair we would be criticised when it wasn't our decision.
The other day the eldest got upset we didn't go to her sports day and her school play (she's the eldest and a daddy's girl) and we had to explain we didn't as we didn't know about it! We only ever get told about the youngest and feels like it's deliberate.
So now she's throwing another strop. Am I being unreasonable to think she shouldnt have said no, and she shouldn't be telling us we can only have them if we book hotels etc and that she doesn't care if I don't see them open their presents and I shouldn't have allowed them too yesterday when I bought them. Does she not see how it's affecting the girls :(. We have really tried we have upped her maintenance to £200 a month now my wages have changed, and we have been talking to her to book a holiday to Butlin's next October just wanting to confirm dates with her as we have got a good deal if we can book in next few days and now again she won't cooperate. We have had a meeting with a solicitor and we are sending a letter Monday stating we want to try mediation, and if that doesn't work then we will go to court for a court order.
Maybe I'm being a little sensitive at the moment, just want the best for everyone and currently undergoing some meetings soon with HV about youngest sons lack of sleep so feeling a little drained :(