Anyone else had enough?! Join me for a glass of virtual prosecco!

[happygirl87]

Sometimes I find being a step-mother all too much! Can't even be bothered to go into it - just pass the ! Anyone else?!

Wow... Out/Coffee/LettheChips - and other OPs - it is all so exhausting isn't it! Sympathy going to all!

I spent the weekend with 2 DSCs and DC - and not a word to me from DSCs as per usual - glued to computer games - DSCs gang together and excluding DC. Tried activities to include all - took them all out for dinner and desserts - that I'd saved with vouchers - no thank yous from DSCs.

I just wonder what the point is of a step relationship? I get Zero out of it. My DC at least gives me warmth, interest and talks to me, says thank you. My DSCs just tolerate me so why do I bother?! They do same to OH - not sure what he gets out of being a parent either tbh!!!

I've tried to talk to him but it's not got me anywhere, apparently he's fed up of me moaning and nagging. But then says if I'm unhappy I should tell him. I said I'd been trying to tell him but he just shuts me down and disregards my opinion.

I've found some places I can rent. It's complicated because I'm sort of self employed, contract work, and my current contract ends mid Oct.

I can pay 6m rent upfront because I have savings, plus I'd take half the joint savings. If I don't get a new contract quickly it's not the end of the world. But that only works if a LL will take it. Plus I have a cat to take into account.

I am looking at places nearer London, as I tend to do most of my work there, so it would also cut my monthly outgoings and my travel to work time (currently two and a quarter hours and costs me £75 a day).

I would eventually be able to buy but again, being on contract work I'd be very unlikely to get a mortgage so I'd need to buy outright. If I get £175k from our house I could buy up to £200k but that would use all my savings which isn't great. And I doubt I'd actually get that much.

So the main question is when I do it. Do I wait until the end of my contract on the basis I'll at least have time then (but no income) or do I just get on with it now and try and sort it out while trying to work full-time and travel to and from London. Who knows.
What I do know is I can't expect any help from him in dealing with it. He's shit with money and stuff like that so it will be me sorting everything out and making sure it's all fair.

It's so reassuring to read everyone else's problems and struggles...!

Dh and I have just had a lovely weekend away. Then it's back to all the usual! Spent yesterday doing lots of chores with my dds while dsd sat on her phone ignoring any of my requests to help. And she lives here full time!! Then disappears to the toilet with her phone for forty minutes after dinner so she doesn't have to help wash up.

It sounds so petty but it just feels like Dh won't parent her sometimes. Drives me mad and I hate feeling so resentful.

Dsds mum and step dad have collected her. The last couple of days have been ok, it's always the same and because she's not here very much we get attitude and resentment (towards me and my kids) and by the last few days she's settled and starts behaving better. Still on her bloody laptop all the time but actually talking to us.

Her mum came to the house, dp asked after her health (she's been ill), she said "I don't wish to discuss it with you" (she was on the phone to him crying about it not that long ago). Then I took some of dsds stuff out, explained one bag was of things we had found in the loft from when she was little, another bag full of her new books. Silently took them and turned her back on me. And that's why contact is so bloody difficult, because her mum quite clearly can't stand me and this is rubbing off on dsd.

Problem is we used to have her eow but ex moved away and makes excuses to not let her come here much now. It's an hour's drive each way. So it can be months in between visits and we have to start the whole thing again.

Hi everyone Hope you've all survived bank hol and back to school?!

Out huge amounts of and sympathy- it sounds awful. Have you decided what to do re moving? Does DP know how seriously you feel?
Coffee it sounds v hard when the ex is poisoning DSD against you- at least hopefully in a few years she'll be more able to think for herself.
LittleSnaily so glad your weekend was lovely I think ultimately getting DSD to hep has to be supported by DP, so if he's not buying into it unfortunately you won't get anywhere.

Due to distance etc DP and I have DSD at DPs Mum's most of the time. However this weekend I have sent him off to have the weekend with them on his own so I can see friends who I haven't seen for months and maybe go really crazy and have a long bath or read a book Feeling pretty unsettled/guilty about it though, I suppose because I'd be unlikely to do it with my own DC?!

Well, we eventually managed to speak and have agreed to put it behind us and move on.

Things already feel a bit better in that school has started and it puts some structure around things. Mind you, dm forgot to buy dss uniform and we didn't find out until 3.30pm yesterday, so the poor lad went to school in his old uniform - luckily it was too warm to need the jumper as that has changed and he couldn't wear last year's one. What sort of mother forgets to buy her dc uniform at the start of term.

Hey, it's letTheChipsFall here, I forgot my password on my old name (with all the changing) so had to yet again, make a new acc! Anyway, I'll have a read to see how you all are but just thought I'd pass these round.........well, it is Monday

Morning all!
Out I'm pleased you've resolved things with DP. Hopefully they will stay on an even keel now...
WhoGivesAFlying, thanks for the ! How are you?
Breakfast Buck's Fizz for all!

Can I join in?

I've had enough. I've had 14 years of carp from DSD and I've reached the end of my tether.

I wouldn't want to depress anyone, but she is 26 and still trying to drive a wedge between me and DH.

Hi MrsTweedie, have a and some crisps! So sorry your adult DSD is causing problems- very sad to think you've been struggling for so long. We are here if you need to vent!

Hello please sorry you're having a rough time.

Sorted life insurance today on the house we own. Also told the broker to add in a sum to cover the dsc's maintenance, God forbid anything should happen to DH then I have their CM covered :)

Aaaand, the ex has asked for increased maintenance, out of the blue.

Honestly, you couldn't make it up!

A big increase?

She forgot to buy uniform! Who does that. Mind you, I've seen a post where the dm left all that to the dsm while she was in the pub drunk!!! That poster was amazing. She was called areyoustilltalking and her posts left my jaw on the floor. Just shows there are Mums out there like that.....not many I hope

The increase she wants is over 10%. Considering she hasn't seen him all summer!

I've told dp he should offer 15% of his pay increase. Not that he is guaranteed to get one.
He doesn't have to give her anything more, they agreed a set amount which was high based on his salary five years ago. He's changed jobs twice and now it's just over the CSA amount, but they fixed it, she had the high amount when it was a lot more for him - early money is worth more. And he bought out the spousal maintenance.

Oh well. It's between them.

WOW!! just caught up with this thread, and I'm amazed some posters have not gone completely beserk!!! Out, I was reading your posts thinking, yep she's leaving, good for her! Then you're putting it behind you and getting back on track, I really really hope it works for you!
Anyway, sorry if this is a bit hard for everyone to hear, but after decades of similar experiences with DisneyDad and demanding DSC, if anything, things get worse as they get older and produce DSGC, who are taught that DisneyGrandad pays for everything you want, and you will come first in his life above everyone else....and so it goes on!

Hi all, wow after reading some of that I don't think I have a right to complain. Mind you this was the weekend off, I might have a few things to vent in about a weeks time

Welcome WSM123 you deserve a glass too esp tonight as it sounds like from your thread you will get a better sleep in tomorrow than on the weekend

Hi all! and for everyone

Wdigin2this - could you please tell me some nice lies about how everything gets easier when they're older?!

How is everyone? Who has the DSC this weekend? We do, and we're off to a family gathering which DSDs mum may or may not be at .... More for me!

Thanx NZ, Partner has said he will get up and go to the spare room in the morning so the kids can wake him in there and leave me alone, here's hoping

Thank you for the kind offers of cake and drinks! Yes have most of the DSCs this weekend, probably, not that anyone tells me anything anymore! DS has a sleepover. In a way, the more kids that are friends, the easier it gets. DSC 1 and 2 are inseparable and only talk to each other, so anything to break the weird atmosphere!

OK Dragon!!
DSC grow up, and realises what a wonderfully generous DF they have, treat him with respect and never ask for anything, do nice things for him, and teach their own DC to do the same.....NOT!
Sorry!

Ah well Wdigin better get back to polishing my poisoned apple!

How's everyone this week? Hope things are...uneventful for all! all round. I am currently being frustrated because I have made a beautiful plan for contact for the next few months that hopefully factors in MILs plans, DH's exs plans, DSD's plans, DH's plans and even my plans- and all I need is for DH to get MIL and Ex to agree with it! But will he do that?! I swear I spend more of my life saying "not sure if I can make it, depends if we have DSD" than anything else!

Totally get that. I'm on my 3rd diary of the year because plans for contact are agreed, rearranged and then changed again. It's SOO frustrating.

I'm pretty nervous...things have been too quiet lately! I'm sure I will shortly discover a large sum of money has been handed over...yet again! Pass the Prosecco!!