Anyone else had enough?! Join me for a glass of virtual prosecco!

[happygirl87]

Sometimes I find being a step-mother all too much! Can't even be bothered to go into it - just pass the ! Anyone else?!

We never had any of our DC living with us, as they were grown when we met. But DH is exactly the same with DGC, he just cannot be the one to say no more chocolate, time for bed, generally can't say no! When they asked for something not allowed by parents, he used to say, 'you'll have to ask Grandma' just so he didn't have to be the 'bad guy'...but I put a stop to that, it's just so unfair and irresponsible!!

I hear you! I guess the upside is, we have generous, kind and caring partners.

The downside - if there is no responsibility to be fair, it grows selfish individuals, as we all know!

Oh yes!

I'm very drunk! I'm
With my brothers family xx DRUNK

Stbx is with his kids down the coast. Didn't take our ds and I did my tell him (he's only 3 ands loves the kids)

Whogives....nah it's not you its the keypad!

I have just survived a long weekend about to open a bottle of cider while DP takes them home. He was very upset with me this weekend when he learned I don't miss them when they are not here (I asked him if he misses other people's kids) soooo glad the noise, mess etc is over

And I'm soon glad i never had to contend with any of that!!!

Soo not soon!

Need to start sorting my next move. I guess we'll sell the house (joint owners but I can't afford it). I can't be arsed to wait for him to decide if he wants to come back. He says he loves me and doesn't want to split but cant just come home. Our ds is my priority now, feel so bad for him, he doesn't understand being so young

Sounds like you are doing the right thing as hard as it is. Focus on you and ds and the rest will fall into place. I wish I had the guts to tell DP what I really feel about the kids (noisy mess makers) and that the only reason I ask the youngest (who the mother hasn't toilet trained yet) if he needs to go to the toilet is because I'm sick of my furniture getting pissed on, not because its my job to toilet train.

We talked on the phone, he's picking up ds from nursery tomorrow for a few hours X he said we should try relate. Not sure how I feel about that...meeting him there then going out separate ways afterwards. It's not really real for him yet he's got family all around him that are putting him up and looking after him ... Me on the other hand hasn't told anyone and I'm just dealing with it all on my own trying to be strong. It just seems we have other shit that's too hard to sort...let alone his Disney attitude...can't say I'll miss being a SM though....just feel bad for the kids in the sense they they all loose some stability

Whogives sorry to hear it.

can't say I'll miss being a SM though....just feel bad for the kids in the sense they they all loose some stability

Despite any grief and resentment from my step children, I do think I've been a stable part of their lives and preferable to a stream of short term girlfriends that their Dad had before me. It's one thing we never voice I think, there is something constant and comforting for kids knowing that there is one person there for their separated parents. There's a lot of guilt and pressure if a parent stays single. Step parents may have more value than we realise!

Yes, I've been in their lives since they were 2 & 7....For that last 7 1/2 years I've been as consistent as thier dad. He said he may just have to see them when he can now as he's not got a base. Oh well, not my problem I guess....

Not your problem who gives
Who knows, maybe this will wake him up a bit?

I agree with Bananas, might make him appreciate what hes lost.

I agree with Bananas, might make him appreciate what hes lost.

Yes, without you Whogives, he's up the swanny a bit as regards his DC....ah well, as you say, not your problem!

any of you regulars know if "snufflegruntsnort" is one of the SP bashers? had a comment on another post and cant tell if they are being an ass or actually confused

I think a lot of people just read a post quickly, and maybe get the wrong end of the stick!

Well, guess who turned up in tears?

You OK whogives? Did he finally realise what he is loosing?

Been a bit quiet in here lately just been drinking and trying to disengage from DPs exs constant crazy and ability to blame us for everything. It has definitly not been working so far.

Oh dear Whogives. Are you ok? its difficult to not feel awful when you see tears. Are you going to cave in or stand firm?

Dipping into this conversation again (feel guilty for not reading the whole thread and then ranting here) but his ex is being a b again. Engineered it so that she has dss most of half term - took whole of half term off and then informed dp. Dp is not 'allowed' to have his son for whole weekends as Sunday is her 'family day'. In a few weeks she is away for the weekend and wants DP to take dss round to her mum's for the day rather than dp have him and now trying to guilt trip him over it 'Dss will be so disappointed if he can't have a sleepover at granny's with his baby brother' etc.

Irony, dp is busy in a few weeks on a Saturday that we are meant to have him - informed his ex who said she'd have him that day.

She treats him like a babysitter - he is getting really upset about it.

Sorry to hear things are difficult whogives Hope you manage to move forwards one way or another.

And know how you feel colouring when it seems your DP's time with the kids is only seen as having any value if it happens to help his ex out.

I'm feeling cross at DH's ex too right now as she's booked a treat theatre trip for DSD for a day when we always go to a family party which DSD loves and is really sad to be missing. Ex checked with DSD (15) direct that she wanted to go and says she told her the date, though DSD says otherwise. But she didn't check at all with us, even though the agreement is that the DSC live with us at the weekends. She's done similarly on numerous occasions but as it happens it's not caused any clashes before. But DH had always just said "that's great" to her and never pushed her on the need to check with us first before she books. Now DSD is sad she'll miss the party and her mum is saying she's ungrateful. And I'm pissed off that she has no respect at all for our family's time and plans.

Also feeling anxious about how DSD and DSS1 are going to resolve their residence issues. Their alternate weeks trial is coming to an end and their mum isn't happy with it and wants to try something different. DSS has said clearly that her idea wouldn't suit him. DSD has said to us that she prefers living mainly at ours, but has clammed up and said nothing to her mum. DH is saying that it's down to the DC really, bit I'm not sure DSD is brave enough to go against what her mum wants. I hate having it all unresolved.