Anyone else had enough?! Join me for a glass of virtual prosecco!

[happygirl87]

Sometimes I find being a step-mother all too much! Can't even be bothered to go into it - just pass the ! Anyone else?!

Well, that was a shit weekend. Press the re-start button

That sux Whogives. ...... RESTART .... hope that helps :-)
I am now waiting for the shit to fly (mostly at my partner I imagine) because I laid my complaint to the police about his ex Harassing me via text. I was going to chicken out for the sake of him until someone pointed out that he should be worried about me and what she is doing to me rather than what she MIGHT do to him.
Fingers crossed its the reality check she needs

oh goody and now (despite not saying anything all weekend) my partner is shitty with me for going ahead with my complaint because of what she might say or do to him. I pointed out that if any other person on earth said that stuff to me he would kill them (or at least be rather angry with them), yet when she says it im not allowed to do anything about it. (nice to be supported)

So as predicted it took my partners ex less than one minute to text him and try to threaten retaliation (police if he texts) I guess she doesn't understand the "rules" to make it harassment and to say he cannot see his children. Other than being shitty with me he did the right thing and contacted the appointed mediator

Ps sorry for the thread invasion

WSM that sounds quite awful, but there has to be a line somewhere doesn't there? Surely, Ex can't keep texting or harassing? If you need it to stop then no one, least of all your DP should be trying to stop you.

Whogives - it sounds like you are being treated like a second class citizen in your house, hope you can keep sticking up for yourself, it's not on.

The DSCs just haven't been coming around on weekends for a while now, meaning that I haven't seen them in weeks. DP taxis them every day but he is missing them. They are old enough and DP and his EX were very much of the 'kids can decide for themselves' whereas I was keen to have a regular contact schedule - which has gone out of the window and basically they are just not bothering to come over.

Cross at my partner though, he says 'no ones to blame' but that 'If I were single I would have my children here more' - very cross about that one! I told him that they all needed a kick up the arse - him and his kids. He's not just a taxi and should be asking them around here if he wants to see them. And the kids, especially the adults should be making the effort. What the hell has it got to do with me?!

Honestly, when are we ever not going to be the cause of all the grief as SMs!!!

Bananas - that is so frustrating. I got told similar: "if we weren't together I'd be able to do lots more evening work events and overnight stays". Grrrr! So frustrating, who does he think would look after the DSCs overnight if I wasn't here, the magic pixies?" conveniently forgetting they are with us full time and their mother has every excuse in the book not to have them.
Sometimes I think I'd get more respect (and get paid) if I was his nanny/housekeeper. I certainly wouldn't have had to deal with the backchat from eldest DSC who objected to being told to put his dirty plate in the dishwasher

Thanx bananas yep. It's done now so he just needs to get his shit together and learn his right with respect to the parenting agreement that's in place.

WSM....so sorry he's not being supportive. You're done te right thing though

Well guess who has spent the whole day in the loo throwing up or "the other end"? Yep, dp. I am gushing with zero sympathy. He moaned that he felt like shit. I told him he brought it on himself after the episode on Saturday.

I just dropped my kids off at an activity, dsd goes too. She didn't ask about her dad, I gave her the coat she left behind and she handed it to her stepdad. He was trying to talk to her and she was ignoring him. I said hey dsd, sd is talking to you? She quite clearly doesn't treat him much better than me. And her entitled behaviour is becoming rather fucking tedious.

Oh no coffee! So sorry you are ill, hope you get to commandeer the sofa

It's dp that's ill. However due to the risk of catching it, never mind the vile stench coming from him I will be commandeering the sofa overnight if I'm allowed :o

Gosh, you were all certainly in the wars last weekend! Mine was pretty quiet, but am now having to make my mind up about how to deal with a few situations I'm not happy about.....damned if I do, damned if I dont!!!
Really, is it all worth it?!

Just wanted to add support for wsm

Also, Bananas I cannot believe your DP really thinks he'd see more of his busy teens if he was single. Does this translate as "I'd have more time on my hands to completely Disney all over them."?

Yes Meridian - my DP has daughters who he lets do what they want - and they regularly 'punish' him for standing up for our relationship.

Basically his youngest hasn't come around for 2 months since DP and her had an argument (nothing to do with me - and DP apologised to her). They often ignore one parent for months if they are in a strop. It is a dynamic let happen by both parents, and ExW stirs things up and likes DP to have to visit her house to see them rather than them come to ours.

DP is being morose because it is just my teenage DS and our toddler DS at weekends now, and being all 'wistful' for the days his kids were there, and being distant with all of us.

At this moment in time I'd like DP and his kids to just go and take their resentments off to their own house somewhere and just leave me to get on with things!

Also... sorry, in a bit of a rant... I've had his kids 100% of the time until a few months ago - (one always living here, others every weekend) for the past 6/7 years! That this has changed has not been my doing! Grrrr..... SO fed up with SM right now and I haven't even seen the kids!

wow Bananas, well my life isn't so bad after all :-)
Thanx everyone for the support. and now my partner has had time to rationally think about it he realises it isn't my fault and he has contacted the mediation services people (the step before court here) and explained the situation. If truth be known I think he has enjoyed a day of no contact from her (she sends him nasty texts too but he cant ban her because he needs contact for the kids) because other than missing hearing from the kids he has been more relaxed than he has been for a while

Thanks WSM... just having a rant really! Very pleased your partner has calmed down and contacted mediation. It may be one of the best things you've done for your relationship and his own contact with the kids. Hope so!

Ranting is helpful :-)
Yeah I really hope the mediation goes well, although I know the ex will not compromise and things will prob go to court. However explaining why mediation didn't work (eg she got shitty after I filed an harassment claim) in court will be interesting
Fingers crossed.
it will take time but its a step in the right direction

and all around. Sound like its been a tough few days for everyone. I don't really have any advise for anyone can only offer my understanding of how hard things can be and say I hope it improves for everyone.
Whogives did you and DS do something nice together on the weekend?
WSM you did the right thing glad your DP sees it now and I hope mediation goes well.
Coffee lucky its your DP not you that's sick as I seem to pick up ever bug DSD gets DP seems immune to it all
Bananas rant as much as you like, I hope your DSC start visiting again.
Wdigin I often ask myself that question 'is it all worth it' tonight is a good night at ours with DSD and I know it is worth it.

This morning dsd got up went to get her breakfast turned on the tv and sat there while she ate, she decided that she wanted to wear her skirt so says 'where's my skirt' I replied 'wherever you left it, I haven't seen it'

For the next 10 mins when she needed to be getting showered etc she was ransacking her room looking for her skirt because her trousers would not do. Without going into the ins and outs she had an epic fit shouting at dh telling him to get lost and that she would not be going to school when he went in to her and told her to get in the shower and wear trousers, that she needed to get her belongings together the night before as she has been told on many occasions.

So is this regular 12 yr old behaviour to scream and shout and be so rude? I was brought up in a very strict house and no way would I have spoken to my parents like that. I know times have changed and they're growing up faster etc but really is this the norm?!

No. Not with my kids. But having lived with a DSD who treated her Dad with no respect then yes. It's hard to live with someone so different, and with a parent who puts up with it! I know teens can be moody, grumpy, but if this is normal in your household LazySusan then it's not a great atmosphere to live in, and she'll be treating you with equal contempt!

Oh FFS!!! DSS who is 10 going on 15 has taken to shutting himself in his bedroom glued to laptop with headphones on playing games.

I know that's normal but after whole mornings or afternoon of this i did mention screen time a few weeks back to DH who made noises about 'If that's what makes him happy, I don't mind him doing it'. So far, so Disney.

I gave them lunch today and was then out for about 4.5 hours to give them some 1:1 time. Came home to find DH watching sport in living room with DSS at table in same room playing computer game on laptop with big headphones on (and frantic mouse-clicking).

I told DH (in another room) that it's just bloody antisocial. I don't mind a bit of double-screening but headphones are just rude. If you want to play the game and it needs sound then do it in your room. DH got all defensive and said he disagreed with me.

AIBU?