Anyone else had enough?! Join me for a glass of virtual prosecco!

[happygirl87]

Sometimes I find being a step-mother all too much! Can't even be bothered to go into it - just pass the ! Anyone else?!

The nails thing is not appropriate for that age but I wouldn't say anything.

Far more of a concern is you being ignored. Does she do this in front of your DH?

Dh has spoken to her, I'm guessing the sort of attitude she has is 'normal' for a preteen?

I'm just so fed up of mincing around her dramas and tantrums. Wine is open so that's a positive!

Oh dsd came over with her stilletto nails (she's 11) hey ist about £20 a go but her clothes wee too wee !!! So dp had to (yet again) go shopping for dsd. The agreement with the ex is for her to provide the clothes as he pays her hefty maintenance. It infuriated me. I also think the nails are inappropriate for that age but it is a case of picking battles unfortunately.

Lol at minni with her straw in the wine. I'm thinking of sitting with my bottle of vodka and a bottle of lemonade straw in each haha. Xx

Also had the not talking. Its not on in my book and if possible I'd be cancelling dinner.

Tell dp your not happy he has to address this. I've threatened my dp with leaving if I don't get so much as a hello out the kids. I wouldn't but he has a chat with them. xx

LazySusan I'm not surprised you're done with it. I've had years of being nobody/being ignored, and because my dh is too frightened to pull them up on anything for fear of losing contact, my reaction has been to mirror back their behaviour to them. Not the brightest idea I know, but now they're young adults, I'm just not going to be a passive recipient anymore. The only downside is that I do very much love my dh (weakness & all), and just feel so sad for him

Thank you for the support Minnie I need to find a longer straw!

It seems things are getting worse, everything is a struggle. Whatever dh says no to becomes an issue, he is pretty good at being firm so it's not him so much as I'm just so fed up of her constantly taking issue with everything.

I'm sure there are a lot of preteens like this and it's not just a step parent thing. I just hope it's a phase I'm worn out and I don't even get involved!

I guess it's just harder to tolerate when they're not yours though. If they were yours you would have more authority to deal with it, indeed if they were any child you could bollock them but because it's a step child you have to bite your tounge. It's like a lack of control oerhaos. I suggest ditching the straw and just drink from the bottle

That's the problem with SM/SC relationships, things you could just deal with and sort out with your own DC, you can't even mention with DSC!
LazySue, I realise pre-teens are pretty much a pain generally, but your DSD sounds particularly difficult, have another on me!
Hormonal...as always, I so get your point!

I think you could probably deal with it easier with any child/teen. If it was a friends child or a neice/nephew you could bollock them and or speak to their parent. I would imagine the oarent wouldnt have a problem with you 'grassing' on the kid, Nd follow through with appropriate action. With a SC you can't and too often it seems NRP are too scared to discipline incase SC turn on them, refuse to visit and will most likely be backed up by BM. Very tricky.

Mine aren't at that age yet. The oldest has always accepted me and is very sweet mostly I know that will probably change . You have my sympathy but sorry no left

How hard is it to iron the pleats into school skirts feel like I'm fixing these every weekend..

Other than that think I've had mostly a good weekend. Few huffs from dsd with fake crying and "I want my mummy" which makes me feel rubbish but unfortunately she can't get away with everything in this house just so everything can be fun

Matilda, you're on the right track, hopefully the huffs and fake crying will get less as time goes by!
Tip about the skirt, pull pleats into shape and place a damp cloth over them, steam iron over as norm, then actually bang the iron down hard on them and press down for a few seconds....sets them in great!

It is very difficult not being able to deal with DSC issues as easily as you would with your own, and sadly, I've found it isn't any less difficult when they're grown! I guess it's all about the, your child/my child aspect of blending families, neither partner wants to a) have their DC critisised, because they naturally feel that their partner cannot understand their DC as they do, or b) wants to have to tolerate attitude/behaviour from their DSC that they wouldn't accept from their own!
I realise that the key is to talk to each other and establish house rules/acceptable behaviour/expectations that everyone has to accept, but in my experience, these usually fall by the wayside when DSD just expects all her requirements met in full....no matter how expensive, outrageous, unreasonable or downright selfish they are!!

This thread makes me happy for now as she's not a teenager and won't be any time soon and I don't yet have the my children versus stepchildren problem yet!

Oh and I can iron the pleats it's just it seems I'm the only one who does so I get to fix them every week

Anyone got a vat of wine?

Every weekend I go at it with a positive attitude, tell myself I won't let things bother me, but by Sunday that attitude has been worn away.

By my own admission some of it I could let go, like dsd shadowing/clinging onto DH all weekend. At this current moment she's in my spot on the sofa with DH's legs on her lap....now it shouldn't bother me but it dose, I fade into the background, and I tell myself I have him all week...but it's not quality time, we are like ships passing in the night sometimes. Dss is much easier, he's older (teen) and less demanding.

we watched a film last night, not a very good one and dsd wants to watch it again....I said I didn't want to but it's on and I've left the front room. I may go to the pub lol

Honestly, I've been doing this for 7 years now and it doesn't seem to get any easier. I actually think it would be easier to have a crazy ex as at least that isn't in your home EOW. And it's not even the kids fault, it's Disney Defensive DH!!! Never saw that one coming,

And what's with the constant stream of chocolate??? They can't get passed one day without some sort of sugary crap....I never buy it, ds may get a treat if we go out for dinner/lunch but all I have at home is yoghurts and fruit. I was never brought up like that so maybe I'm being unreasonable but it's Coke, lemonade, crisps, sweets and other crap! And then DH moans that dsd is a little over weigh, I mean wtf!! She's only 9, the habits she picks up now are the ones she'll take over into adulthood. Apparently Dss said at home there's always crisps biscuits packets of cakes and they can help them selfs, DH saw it too when he was there getting them. We would like to treat them but it's not a treat when it's on tap all through the week. Anyway, I can't control what happened there so no point stressing.

Oh my flying it's sounds like a nightmare how the hell have you managed 7 years

Lots of wine

Sorry for all that ranting....don't know any SM IRL and sometimes it feels better just to write it down.

At least I have the false nail stage to look forward to

This a safe thread to rant and get pissed on

Come over to the other one if you want a fight .. It's helps too

I've been popping in on that one, but you can't argue with stupid lol

I know, don't know what's come over me if normally laugh and walk away it's been a long weekend though, I needed an outlet I guess.

Don't worry, It's easy to get sucked in, especially if you think you are dealing with rational people