Anyone else had enough?! Join me for a glass of virtual prosecco!

[happygirl87]

Sometimes I find being a step-mother all too much! Can't even be bothered to go into it - just pass the ! Anyone else?!

neverenough - what were your horrible few weeks?
Whogives - perhaps there will be more understanding now BF has moved in with their mum? Or maybe not... !
Dragon that also sounds very fustrating!

DSC1 has 'got the hump' with DP and hasn't come around the last 4 weekends (her mum is also making her feel that she shouldn't come if she doesn't want to and letting her do whatever she likes to 'reward' her). DSC2 has a weekend job so also not coming. DSC3 doesn't come when I'm here at the moment (why? at this stage, no idea. But she is still happy to come to meals out/cinema that I invite her to) - so it's spookily quiet without them, but has given me a break. I wish they would come soon though as DP misses them, and their mum is out all weekends and younger DSCs need a parent around really at least some of the time. He is still their 'taxi' to college/school and back every day and gives them extra money etc which they all happily accept.

But for me, I have been trying to just focus on what I and my younger kids need and not worry about any bitchiness between the older DSCs / EX... and so far, am almost succeeding!

We have dss for an extra weekend this weekend, and we would like him w/e of 21st. His DM never says "oh noes, he can't come to you, I have made plans for something extra special for him to do and I don't see enough of him", so it's likely we'll have him. But I am miffed cos this means we'll have him every weekend this month. And we're having him all of Christmas.
I've asked dp to ask her to swap out 14th, so we can go and see my sister, but a) he's not asked and b) bet she says no, she has plans.

Must go put the Prosecco (actually, it's cremant) in the fridge! And the Tokaji.

Yes bananas I did think that, she may muse on how it is to be around other people's children and realise, like her I'm sure, that all we want is for them to be happy. I don't have any issues now with mum we are in a good place. But it would be nice to know she may feel how it is to be a SM.

And I don't mean that in a bitchy way, ( thought I'd clear that up as you never know how things can be read)

Hope everyone is OK going into the weekend!
Claude, that is outrageous, she promised to pay half for the item, obviously with no intention of doing so....ever! I know your DH will probably never agree to it, but he really should reduce/cease maintenance until her share is paid in full! I know exactly how it feels when DH is taken advantage of, over and over, but will/can do nothing about it.......you must be seething with resentment!!
Here, have another, you're going to need it!!!

Oh it's just been one drama after the other. I do t want to go into it to much just in case I get outed. It's quite specific. But kids arrangement has had to be altered as a result and dp now's sees kids less. I'm heart broken for him. He really misses them. I have also changes how I am around the kids as a result of all that's gone on. When I took a step back I realised I was parenting his kids and that's not what they need. so now I am polite and will always want what's best but I no longer go out my way to involve myself in their lives. If they want to speak to me they can and I will always be nice. But dp is now in charge of making sure they clean their room, brush their teeth etc. As it should be.

I just need a wee drink and enjoy my weekend I think. Xx

here you go nuff. That really sucks for your dp.

Now, I find the only problem in stepping back is that I don't want to live in a shithole EOW, DH is of the opinion that we can tidy when they have gone....but why should we live in a mess? Does he think that's acceptable if they were to be here for longer periods? It's all very well saying you'll step back but at the detriment to who? as I know they won't suffer. But why should I be the only one picking up all the crap like a servant....

Luckily all our DC are grown, so live their own lives...but I have, over quite a few years, stepped back from DSC anyway! It's just easier to let DH do his thing with them, mainly because I don't agree with his parenting attitudes. I occasionally dress up and show up for some occasions, which is fine, I can cope with that!

I know what you mean about the mess. Do is the same I will tidy the house bit anything left lying around (kids belongings) gets chucked and I mean chucked in the kids room. It's up to dp to tidy or get them to do it. If dp is cooking for him and kids they get told to load dishwasher once they are finished. I'll happily do the rest. I'm almost making dp make sure his children become self sufficient or he has to do it. I just hope I can keep it up. xx

It's the bathrooms that used to drive me nuts. The bedrooms, well at least I could shut the door and ignore. But going in to have a bath and having to clean up after 3 teenagers with long hair, empty the bins... no one having cleaned a thing... grrrr... you can't really stand away from that! I could haul up my own DC and have a word - but it would be like world war III bringing it up with DP/DSCs. Draining!

Please can I come back into the fold? I've been out there and I don't like it, I want to come back here for proseco in the hope I can find my happy place again

I'm babysitting. DP is away out on the lash doesn't happen often so I don't mind

You've been through the mill minni, here

The school mascot is here, along with his diary. I won't be doing it this time

Looking at some of it, jeeze! It's a competition! Disney fecking World!! Sorry dsd, we've got a bonfire in garden is all

Disney world bloody hell! Can't you just say he/she is still jet lagged from the flight home so wasn't up for doing much at all!

God...do I know what it's like, living on Disney World!

Wdigin

To all taking about tidying after they've gone, we have had endless issues on this point- DH is not too bad on the "Disney Dad" front in that he does insist on homework/teeth brushing/vegetables and doesn't spend £££ on her, BUT he does want to avoid doing "boring" stuff when she's with us, which is SO impractical! We work full time, we often travel for work in the week, we can't avoid doing any housework/supermarket/DIY etc EOW!! Besides I think with her Mum she must go to Tesco or B and Q, so why not occasionally with us?!

Ah that was a relief!

Dragons and Wdigin Divorce/separation seems to really screw up just being an everyday parent! It becomes a bun fight for the kids hearts.

Even I feel the pressure, my DCs Dad takes him on lovely holidays, meals out, allowed to stay up anytime. But never takes the trouble in 'problems' or his school development. I often worry that I'm the boring parent who goes on about him having to do his homework...

My own Dad I saw very rarely, after my parents divorced, and he'd always Disney Dad us. I remember fantastic trips out, but hardly saw him. It's definately not helped us as he's still like that now which I don't like as it keeps this big distance between us. He never tells me if he's ill or has an idea about my normal life, we're stuck in Disney land!

Dsd has arrived at ours complete with the longest stiletto shaped false nails, glued on.

We're meant to be going out for dinner..am I an old bag or for a 12 yr old is this the norm? I've not even been spoken to yet.

I love my dh so much but I feel like packing a bag getting in the car and driving.

LazySusan and for you (and great name!) I reckon the nails are inappropriate but IME can be filed under the heading of "pick your battles". I would not be happy about not being spoken too though, and would probably mention something to DH- a quick hello will suffice! But I think he should be seen to be supporting you 100% on issues like that.

Hope dinner is ok (more )

Massive for you!! Have you tried to speak to her suggedt complimenting her nails . She will probably change them straight away. Totes uncool to wear something that the oldies like

I said hello, I was ignored. She has a friend over tonight, So there's a certain amount of showing off I guess.

I'm nobody, she treats me with such distain and to be honest I'm done with it.

Don't bother with the glass, just put a straw on the bottle!!

Oh lazy that's really not on. I wouldn't let my own child do that...and as for the nails....id say to her dad she'll be a long time an adult.