Not sure I can do this much longer

[wheresthelight]

Don't get me wrong I do love my step kids I just don't like my step son very much at the moment and yes I would admit to not liking my own day times.

His attitude towards me recently has been vile and even his dad admits that I haven't done anything wrong. I have told dp that I don't think I can continue having them when he is at work as it is so bad and he has agreed but I feel awful.

I hate feeling unwelcome in my own home, the atmosphere is awful and dp is clearly upset and stuck in the middle. Dss is a nice kid when he wants but his fm never disciplines him and Ada result he is very disrespectful and I won't tolerate it. When he is called on it by his dad and told to apologise he just glares at me like I am shit on his shoes and he refuses to speak.

I have told dp I will leave and take our dd with me because I am clearly the one causing the issue even if only by my presence (I am not the ow)

I don't want to be a single mum and I love my dp dearly but I simply dont think I can do this any more.

well
"Fantastic yeah I saw thanks! Shame some people are so self absorbed that they have to complete bulldoze other people's threads."

self absorbed?? coming from the lady who refers to this as 'her' thread?

the lady who, when shown insufficient respect by a confused 11 year old child, thinks that threatening the boys father with the removal of his other child is the correct way to go about things?? you wrote "I have told dp I will leave and take our dd with me"...REALLY??

again, i posted my opinion in 2 posts on this forum (you should really look at the definition of that word) and since then have simply responded to the childish retorts. i'm only responding now because you have twice made comment about me.

i'd like to point out that you refer to your stepchild as though he were an animal...
"can't be bothered with him and his dramatics",
"i have refused to arrange a babysitter for his kids as I don't trust dss's behaviour",
"I just don't like my step son very much"
"I am not cooking, cleaning, washing, giving lifts."
"I am doing nothing further for him"
the reason the word "mum" is in the term "stepmum" is that you are expected to provide some degree of maternal love.

it's fine if everyone here is happy to accept that, but i can't. I know for a fact that there will be a silent minority here who agree...if it was your son who was being discussed with such disdain by his stepmother, i'm sure you would be absolutely disgusted.

I hope to god that you will try a little harder with your own children...you wrote "I would insist that anyone who was that disrespectful to me in my own home left"...so, if your own child goes through a difficult period (or develops behavioural issues, as it seems your ss may have) you are going to insist they leave?!?

nice. why don't you go 'engage' with a therapist yourself?!

Thanks daft! Dp says he is not giving his son the power to destroy what we have and he will learn to respect me or face the consequences so at least I feel more like I being supported. Even his ex has said I haven't done anything wrong and that she is disgusted with what I have told her about his behaviour so maybe this has been a wake up call for them all.

Mums I will reply to your email I promise!! Not entirely sure where the last 10 days have gone!! Her eczema has got to point where just touching her skin on places is causing it to tear and bleed. She keeps screaming when you touch her and crying saying "wheresdd broken wheresdd broken" it is utterly gut wrenching. I literally sat in a traffic jam today sobbing cos there was nothing I could do

Do you actually have anything helpful or constructive to add Hels?

It is my thread hels amd as for the rest of your utter rubbish i can't be bothered with you either frankly

melon...
i think i'm good for now. thanks though.

wheresthelight...
glad i could help old girl. truth is an ugly thing sometimes, i understand that you'd find it difficult to respond to the "utter rubbish". particularly the utter rubbish that is directly quoted from your posts.

again, please try to empathise with your stepson...try to imagine how you would feel as an 11 year old boy who (in order to spend time with your father) has to go to a house where you are not welcome (don't try to deny it...your posts are very clear) and where the dominant 'mother' figure makes it very clear that she doesn't like you. I assume you cook for your own children sometimes?? yet you claim you "don't cook" for him?!? wow. just wow.

much love ladies.

What the fuck was all that about lions? It may be true for that species butnot all, in fact some animals are know for being surrogate to others, and even not of the same breed, so that that bollocks out the window

It's hard to know What to-do with DSC issues. As the natural instincts you have with your own usually aren't there. So the behaviour seems quite a personal offence..
Maybe he's testing you..
And maybe it's time to take control of the situation by having a 121 just you and him.
Give him the opportunity to tell you what he's feeling and let him see you're just human too...
That way he's not acting out in an arena inwhich he can get attention for his behaviour.
He might turn around and say he doesn't like you or blames you for everything.
But you're stronger than him. And if he says anything at all in a 121 take it as progress.
Breaking down the barriers might even relieve you both.