Adult son key to house issue - pls help

[Feelinghelpless2]

Posted before about issue my DS causes my DH and I, his DSS. So he's finally moved out at the age off 22 but I won't take the key back of him. My DH feels very strongly about him having a key and wants it back saying he doesn't need it - thoughts anyone? It's causing massive problems between us, but I just can't ask for it back it feels so final!

Feelinghell when your ds lived at home and you and Dh went on holiday, how did your dh feel about him living there alone?

Ok so I have they key back. I invited my DS for dinner but he declined and just put it through the letterbox. I feel like such a cow :-((

OP - I'm really pleased you've got the key back. And you're absolutely,utterly sure he won't have made a copy?

I'm pretty sure, he's not deceitful plus that would involve effort!

Don't feel like a cow, that was his intention which was really unfair of him. Just ignore this behaviour and keep offering invitations - he'll come round.

Thanks Bare. I feel like I've chosen my DH over my DS which isn't true because my DH never ever said my DS had to move out, just that he had to pull his weight and be respectful. Feeling crap

Honestly darling, been there. You've done nothing unjust nor your husband, just trying to teach your adult son how to be a grown up - it will be fine, truly.

My 22 year old still tries the door when he turns up instead of knocking first - fecker :D

Thanks Bare, good to know. Has your DS not got a key either. I feel so emotional and my DH doesn't get it, he just sees that the problem, his DSS, my DS, has gone and it's great!

Nope, no key no need. If he was dog sitting or house sitting (God forbid) then maybe, but right now no it's not his main abode so no need to be letting himself in without notice.

thanks Bare, amazing how much better you can feel when someone says 'yes I've been there and your not a bad person'. I've text my DS and he's ignored me, not for the first time this week - really hurts, don't want to fall out.

Don't get me wrong I know it's not easy to make these changes, but he has to understand you have a life outside his world as well as loving him, doesn't mean he's not still your world, just you've got a life too.

Me and my husband have broke up , my son takes my husband side and blames me for the break up my son has got a key
to my house I asked for it back and he got very aggressive with me said I have a mental problem I don't fill safe with him having a key I don't want him just walking in when he likes