is the xw rite ? opinions please

[Fluttercub]

Dh ex wife has decided that because we are now married I am responsible for getting Xmas birthday and fathers day gifts for her dd's to give to their daddy, am I being daft or should it be her making sure her daughters get their dad cards/gifts I am responsible for making sure my ds does, I am not being mean, but surely if she has done it before we got married then as they are after all her children she should ensure these things are taken care of , without telling the girls its not her job anymore, Dh got nothing off his dd for either his birthday or fathers day and she had said nothing to me prior to it to see if I could get a little something for them which to be fair I would of, he was gutted not even a home made card

I would take responsibility for it tbh as you are part of their life with their dad. I sort out gifts for fathers day etc for dsc to give their dad, and I also remind and help then to get gifts for their mum as she hasn't got a dp. As they get older they should take responsibility for this more themselves.

I got shot down in flames on here a few months back and havnt been on since, till now. There are some not very helpful people on here.
It wouldve been better if ex had said she wasn't doing it anymore but if I were you Id get cards and gifts etc in just incase from now on. My partner gets mothers day cards and birthday cards from the kids for me cos my ex is unreliable and knows I`d be upset if I didn't get anything. x

Sunny, how great that you have met someone so considerate :-)

Gosh, this is the 1st thread on step-parenting where I am truly shocked. Although I loathe my ex who is now shacked up with OW/fiancée I wouldn't dream of letting either my DS not be able to get his dad anything or expecting anyone else to organise it. He is my DS and my ex is DS dad. My ex also gets me things from DS. We do this for birthdays, Christmas and Mothers/Fathers Day.

I often choose the gift but am starting to let DS choose (he is age 8) but I do make him wrap the gift and write the card. My ex buys it, wraps it so I do feel that it is a gesture for the wider world rather than for DS benefit. Often DS doesn't even know what it is.

I never understand why this is such a contentious subject. As long as someone gets a gift and a card so the children can enjoy giving them to their parent what does it matter?

Before I came along and when we were first together dps mum got stuff for him but now I do it and I'm perfectly happy to, it means he gets something he wants and the kids are happy too. We wouldn't do mothers day for them so we wouldn't expect it the other way around!