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Original poster

he's starting to make me cringe!

56 replies

coffeeaddict11 · 17/02/2014 19:01

Oh god i know that my dp loves being a dad and he only sees his dc a couple of days a week but lately he's behaviour is really starting to make me cringe. Dsd(3) is going through a funny stage and everytime she is bored or doesn't get her own way she says she wants her mam. Or she'll say to her mum that she doesn't want to go to dads cos dad is rubbish. So he is overly overly playful and iti s really cringey. Like she had love hearts on her tights and hes like is that how much u love dad? Im like boorrrkk!!! No one enjoys being a father more than my dp and he desperately wants us to have children of our own and i just hope and pray when he is a father 24/7 and its children he'll be bringing up he won't feel the need to do this cos its making me cringe and my skin crawl!

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Maybe83 · 18/02/2014 08:35

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Original poster
coffeeaddict11 · 18/02/2014 08:57

Thanks eiruk

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Original poster
coffeeaddict11 · 18/02/2014 09:03

Thanks eiruk at least someone has the brains to understandandt i mean. Theres no problem in dp showing his dd affection at all i.e. Hugs kisses telling her he loves her but when its out of guilt or to be liked and over the top its cringe worthy It really is. Like say for instance dp daily shows me affection kissing and teasing me etc. And say one day he is in the dog house and feels guilty and he starts doIng stuff out of character and guilt like kissing my nose and rubbing our noses together n shit I'd be like f**k off! It would seriously make me cringe!

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mumandboys123 · 18/02/2014 10:01

My 4 year old and I rub noses all the time....he regularly tells me he's going to marry me....he puts his arms around me and whispers that he loves me in my ear....it's a perfectly healthy and entirely normal relationship between parent and child. I think you seriously need to look at parents around you and their relationships with their children. You are not describing anything out of the ordinary or strange or odd or indeed, cringeworthy.

Only1scoop · 18/02/2014 10:20

I'd leave having children a while maybe.

needaholidaynow · 18/02/2014 11:06

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Original poster
coffeeaddict11 · 18/02/2014 11:20

Yes mumand boys u probably do that regularly amd all the time and no doubt its purely out of love but if you read my messages you will see that dp does do this regularly or all the time its out of character and purely out of guilt. People don't seem to get where im coming from and i cant be ars*d to explain anymore.

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Original poster
coffeeaddict11 · 18/02/2014 11:21

Dp doesn't do it regularly**

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Abbierhodes · 18/02/2014 11:23

You sound far too immature to have a child.

needaholidaynow · 18/02/2014 11:27

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Kaluki · 18/02/2014 11:42

I think its only when you have kids of your own that you can appreciate how strong the feelings are for your dc. Maybe your DP is being a bit needy and OTT with his DD but that is because he wants her to know how much he loves her, which is never a bad thing.

My DP can be a bit cringey on his nightly phone calls to his dc, because he doesn't see them every day and misses them. I tend to get busy doing something else when he is on the phone to them as I do get a bit irritated by the lovey dovey stuff but his dc are 12 and 9 so its not quite the same as if they were little 3 year olds.
Why don't you try and support him and tell him he's a great dad rather than moaning about how he is with her.

Only1scoop · 18/02/2014 11:52

Didn't you post before about having 'Bio kids with him'?and questioned if you did....might your dc with him get pushed out?

Original poster
coffeeaddict11 · 18/02/2014 13:44

I don't think my dc with him would get pushed out as he will see them everyday. And he does disney parent in some ways. Cos of the guilt he feels not seeing them all the time and he loves being a dad he does get too ott lovey dovey and tries too hard if u know what i mean. Like bribes them with sweets etc

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Funnyfoot · 18/02/2014 14:58

So he feels guilty and not spending 24/7 with his daughter.
And that's a bad thing why?

Of course he will feel guilty, that is why when he is with her he is a bit over the top with the "daddy loves you" stuff. He is trying to reassure his daughter that even though he is not with her everyday he still loves her everyday. She is 3 yo it isn't like he can sit down and have a grown up conversation with her to help her understand, hence why he is doing it in a lovey dovey way.

Also if you do have bio children ( I hate this phrase and I am a sp with a blended family) you may find that he reassures is daughter even more.
Put your cringy feelings to one side and be happy that your DP cares so much about his daughter because there are plenty of non resident parents out there that don't give a damn.

YoureBeingASillyBilly · 18/02/2014 14:59

Well dont have dcs with him because he is still the same person and type of parent whether they live with him or not so if his parenting style isnt what you want for your dcs then dont have dcs with him. This is also a glimpse of how he will be if you split up and your shared dc lived with you.

mumandboys123 · 18/02/2014 15:53

Yes mumand boys u probably do that regularly amd all the time and no doubt its purely out of love but if you read my messages you will see that dp does do this regularly or all the time its out of character and purely out of guilt. People don't seem to get where im coming from and i cant be arsd to explain anymore.*

You're surely not suggesting that the non-resident parent of a 3 year old doesn't love his children in the same way a resident parent might? I fail to see the difference between me, a resident parent, rubbing noses with my 4 year old 'purely out of love' and a non-resident parent rubbing noses with a 3 year old. How do you turn my 'purely out of love' nose rubbing to 'out of character' and 'purely out of guilt' nose rubbing? I would still rub noses with my children if I didn't see them as regularly as I do 'cos that's what we do! I feel sure my ex does similar stuff - and I am sure he feels guilty about a lot of things (he has a lot to feel guilty about, frankly) but I would hope the latest girlfriend isn't complaining about the fact he...loves his children?!

Original poster
coffeeaddict11 · 18/02/2014 20:35

Mumsandboys i give up as you are clearly missing the point. He wasn't out of love or affection it was a reaction he did as a result of a comment made my dp. I guess u would feel he should give them their own way and buy them everything after they say 'i want my mummy' cos he feels guilty.

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Original poster
coffeeaddict11 · 18/02/2014 20:35

A comment made my dsd *

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Only1scoop · 18/02/2014 20:54

How do you know "it wasn't out of love".... Why on earth should you give a shiny shite ....how many little ways he shows his affection for her?

And if it makes you feel this way....just leave them to it.

Only1scoop · 18/02/2014 20:56

If your dp makes you 'cringe' giving affection to his child in any way at all....then maybe a 'Bio' family with him says....
Is really not for you.

Original poster
coffeeaddict11 · 18/02/2014 23:56

Some would say its affection its matter of opinion i was there and it wasn't out of love or affection it was a response to a comment and it eas like he was brown nosing. All a matter of opinion and seen as i was there only i can determine here was the motivation behind it.

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NigellasDealer · 19/02/2014 00:04

it eas like he was brown nosing
fgs you need to grow up coffeeaddict! 'brown nosing' ? wtf?

Funnyfoot · 19/02/2014 00:09

I hope his sake and that of his daughters he realises the kind of person you are very very soon.

mumandboys123 · 19/02/2014 00:09

Some would say its affection its matter of opinion i was there and it wasn't out of love or affection it was a response to a comment and it eas like he was brown nosing. All a matter of opinion and seen as i was there only i can determine here was the motivation behind it.

do you have your own children? only your partner understands his motiviation, surely?

Only1scoop · 19/02/2014 08:09

'Brown nosing' with his dd aged 3
I think you are extremely strange and I think you should leave them to it. It's his child and will be always. None of your business how much affection he gives her....
And yes you do sound jealous and extremely immature with your nastiness.

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