he's starting to make me cringe!

[coffeeaddict11]

Oh god i know that my dp loves being a dad and he only sees his dc a couple of days a week but lately he's behaviour is really starting to make me cringe. Dsd(3) is going through a funny stage and everytime she is bored or doesn't get her own way she says she wants her mam. Or she'll say to her mum that she doesn't want to go to dads cos dad is rubbish. So he is overly overly playful and iti s really cringey. Like she had love hearts on her tights and hes like is that how much u love dad? Im like boorrrkk!!! No one enjoys being a father more than my dp and he desperately wants us to have children of our own and i just hope and pray when he is a father 24/7 and its children he'll be bringing up he won't feel the need to do this cos its making me cringe and my skin crawl!

Brown nosing?
Really?

She's a little girl!!!!!

I kinda get the frustrations, coffee but there's lots of things we have to roll with as the step parents we are. My parents culture and country of origin is not UK so my whole family was raised with love but not necessarily with tons and tons of physical affection - not wrong, right, better or worse just different and we're all still close.

One of the most important things in any r'ship, esp one where kids already exist, is our attitude to our partners (whatever cultural differences). Even if your partner was acting our of guilt as you say. So? If you love this man, I would urge you to tread very carefully with your words - I would hate for them to come back and bite you. And the very thing you dislike you could cause to be a major problem. Put things in perspective and be reasonable.

You might be surprised at how much you learn if you suck it up and accept it for what it is. If my DH found out I spoke about him and his DSD in this way I might as well just start packing, coz I couldn't bear his disappointment and sense of betrayal I know he'd feel. He needs my support, not judgment. And ironically he does seriously listen to my concerns / feedback but only because it comes from a place of respect.

If you've built something good up with him, be really careful not to tear it down with your own hands.

If you've built something good up with him, be really careful not to tear it down with your own hands.

I may have to steal this line cappy

Nicked the quote myself. It's actually "The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down."

If she is wanting to see her Mam it is up to you to help DP to make her time with you good, so she doesn't want to see her Mam, I would be worried too if my DC wanted to go off to the other parent.

You need to realize that DD is around for the next 15 years, or you could say she will be around for the rest of your life if you stay with DP, so the sooner you are a person she also likes to be with the better, she isn't going into an orphanage or going to stop seeing you every week. You and DP need to make a lovely home for her with you.