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Nutty Stepmum's Club (NSC) - Who Wants To Join Us? (Thread 2)

2003 replies

Squirrel3 · 16/01/2006 16:06

Ah ha! I knew I could get it to the two thousand posts!!!!

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NotActuallyAMum · 28/02/2006 12:43

OK here's a question for you all - what would be your ideal holiday if you could choose anything at all? Mine is 2 (or 3 Grin) weeks in the Maldives staying in a water bungalow. They're little wooden chalets literally built over the water - like the water villas on \link{http://www.maldiveshilton.co.uk/\here} And DP and I would go scuba-diving too Grin

Squirrel3 · 28/02/2006 12:47

You've just stolen my ideal holiday Naam! Grin

I'm always going on at dp about it, maybe one day, when we win the lottery!

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Squirrel3 · 28/02/2006 12:49

Shouldn't have clicked on that link Naam, I got to the part where it said to book now and I was very tempted! Grin

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NotActuallyAMum · 28/02/2006 12:53
Grin

I'm always talking about it too. DP had never heard of the Maldives when he met me, but he likes the idea. As you said, when we win the lottery....

Squirrel3 · 28/02/2006 12:54

Mind you, you would have a shock if somebody was to swim underneath your dinning room, the floor is glass!

I wonder if you get to see loads of fish, while you are eating?

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SiobhanW · 28/02/2006 12:54

No Not very exciting now Squirrel had DD after all the heartache and now spend my time in a bloody freezing cold unit on a trading estate ( not even remotely glamourous!!) wrapped in 3 layers and ugg boots for the best part of the week Seriously I've seem some bloody worried looking brass monkeys around here !!!
Fave holiday - it would have to be with DH in a classic Italian Sports car travelling along the Amalfi Coast with oodles of money to stay in all the best hotels en - route then take the ferry to Sicily and zoom around there avoiding any nasty incidents with the Mafia of course! Failing that what we do most years - over to the family house on the West coast of Ireland with the family ( and more) eating, drinking, riding, walking, drinking even more, eating, swimming (freezing) sandcastles oh and did I mention drinking !!!

NotActuallyAMum · 28/02/2006 13:01

Bet you do have fish swimming under the floor squirrel - lots of them too Smile No people though I hope, hadn't thought of that!!

Siobhan LOL at the brass monkeys Grin And what are ugg boots?? I'm intrigued. Italy looks a beautiful country. Been ski-ing and went to Venice when I was 15 but that's it

Squirrel3 · 28/02/2006 13:06

I'd better take my fishing rod then. {wink]

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tarantula · 28/02/2006 13:06

Have no idea what my fav holiday would be. thnk I'd like to have a house somewhere to go to as I dont really like hotels. I want to travel to EVERYWHERE tbh. Grin

SiobhanW · 28/02/2006 13:09

UGG boots are australian sheepskin boots you don't wear socks and they work on the premisE of keeping you warm in winter and cool in summer ( and yes they do work) but sheepskins with a linen dress? ... NAH I just can't carry that look off - I'll leave that to the Kate's and Sienna's of the world !! so they are retired each summer!
Italy is wonderful darling sis - in - law and hubby have just moved to Rome for a year so DH and I are abandoning business, kids, dogs and assorted others and buggering off for a long weekend soon - can't wait as we have never left them for more than one night .... yeehah ... BTW where do you get negligee's ??!! Wink

Squirrel3 · 28/02/2006 13:16

I'd love to be able to travel, which is why I thought that your life sounded so exciting Siobhan (all of that travelling).

A friend of mine went of travelling several times for a year at a time. The stories she can tell will make your hair curl one minute and have you rofl the next!

She 'missed' both of my pregnacies, I always told myself that although I had my children young when they grew up I would still be young enough to travel myself, but alas I met dp and his kids are still to young for us to go off for a year, travel and see the world and by the time they are grown up it will be too late for me! ~sigh~ Sad

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SiobhanW · 28/02/2006 13:21

never say never .. Some neighbours of ours ( 68 and 65 respectively) have just left on their "gap" year! They're taking 6 - 8 months and are calling themselves "SKI - ers" Spending the Kids Inheritance !! they are in e-mail contact as they have let the house and their energy and experiences have me wetting myself so big thumbs up I say !

Squirrel3 · 28/02/2006 13:26

Excellent! That's me and dp sorted for the future then! Grin

That has given me hope that it could happen, thanks. Smile It has been a dream of mine for so many years.

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NotActuallyAMum · 28/02/2006 13:27

I'd love to travel too squirrel but DP won't go abroad without dsd Angry I wouldn't mind but I pay for holidays so he's basically saying "if you want to go abroad you've got to pay for my dd to go otherwise we're not going" And I just can't afford to pay for all of us....hoping to talk him round though, I really think he's being unfair about that. We will always take dsd somewhere - I wouldn't dream of us going away and not having a second holiday with the 3 of us - but I just can't afford for us all to go abroad. I did price it up once and it's such a rip-off - I'd have to pay adult price for her and she's only 13! Robbing gits!!

SiobhanW · 28/02/2006 13:27

OK Ladies here's a bit of a poser - Dss (17) has girlfriend (17) over most Friday nights and occassionally until quite late a couple of times a week - he seems to turn all Neanderthal sort of drags her off to his lair etc - Now I'm not a prude and they have been together about a year however I'm concerned as I know her mum and Step - dad are quite strict and I'm not 100% sure they would approve of the err umm " sleeping arrangements" DSS's dad and his mum are fine about it and whilst i know I can't stop it as we have sort of allowed it to drift to this situation I'm worried what her parent's reaction may be if they knew .... Over to you lot .. !!!

NotActuallyAMum · 28/02/2006 13:28

PMSL at SKI - that's hilarious Grin

I agree Squirrel - it could happen for you one day, you're still young don't forget Smile

SiobhanW · 28/02/2006 13:31

NAAM that's not fair ... he should contribute or ask her mum to go halves if that would be possible DSS normally comes with us and luckily I have a good relationship with his mum so we haven't had any problems with finance etc ( we either go halves or she robs his savings account - tight little git that he is !!)

Squirrel3 · 28/02/2006 13:32

Dp and I have had one holiday on our own since we met (also it was my first time abroad, first time in an airplane) I absolutely loved it! Dp hates flying but he really enjoyed it that time because I was so excited, he just kept looking at me and grinning from ear to ear because I was acting just like a little kid! Grin

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NotActuallyAMum · 28/02/2006 13:32

Siobham this is my humble opinion

For me personally I wouldn't allow it, but it's your house and you have the right to do what you want to do. If other people - their parents or whoever - don't like it then hard luck. What they allow in their house is up to them but you have your own rules for your home. Step-children usually find out pretty quickly that there are different rules for different houses

SiobhanW · 28/02/2006 13:38

Thanks NAAM I must say I'm not comfortable with it really but he lives with us and I know when he and g'friend go to visit his mum it's OK there too - His dad has absolutely no problem - but g'friend is in upper 6th and is going on to Med School directly after ( bloody high achievers!!) and has picked two UNI's close to home so that she can still see DSS so I know that this isn't a flash in the pan relationship but the whatsit's will definitely hit the fan should she get pregnant and I just know her parents would be furious ... So how do I now re assess the house rules when I'm the only one with the problem and they have been sleeping together for the past 6 months ... face it they'll only go off and have a knee trmbler somewhere !!

SiobhanW · 28/02/2006 13:38

for trmbler read TREMBLER !!!

NotActuallyAMum · 28/02/2006 13:41

I'll speak to him about it again in a few weeks. We're already booked for this year so if I can talk him round it'll be for next year

The first time I went on a plane I was bloody scared!! I was only 14, it was a ski-ing holiday with the school. I don't mind flying now, I just find it sooooooo boring! Apart from the ski holiday I've only been abroad 3 times - Tenerife, Rhodes and Zante with my ex and it was awful! He was such a dick-head, threw a paddy if I had any more than 4 drinks (despite being all-inclusive so it was free), wouldn't go down to the entertainment just wanted to sit in the room watching telly. Can't wait to go with DP and have a proper holiday. I'm sure he can be persuaded.....

Squirrel3 · 28/02/2006 13:59

Naam, he should contribute, she is his dd.

Siobhan, difficult situation...erm... requires some thought... My gut instinct is the same as yours (fear that she may become pregnant) but you are right you are not going to stop them from doing 'it', all you can do is to make sure dss has and uses contraception! Although I don't know how you would enforce this either, you can't stand outside the bedroom door shouting "And make sure you use a condom!"

Has your dp spoken to dss about contraception? You never know, if the girl is as sensible as you say she is she may have even got herself on the pill. It is up to her to tell her mother they are having sex, she is 17, its up to her really. Its not your responsibility, so don't feel guilty. Do you get on well with the girlfriend? Maybe you could have a 'chat' with her about your worries that she may fall pregnant?

I know dp gave ss condoms when he was 18 and it became clear to us that the relationship he was in (still is 2 yrs later) was becoming serious, we spoke about it and I knew that ss would have been embarrassed at me giving him them, so dp offered to give him them....Oh no, actually I remember.... He put a pack in his Cornflake packet then asked him if he got the 'free gift' in his cornflakes, whilst giving him the 'knowing nod'. It was hilarious and broke the embarrassment surrounding the situation.

I’m not suggesting that you do that BTW, its just different ways for different people IMO. But I do feel that communication is the key.

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SiobhanW · 28/02/2006 14:00

You will get a solo holiday if DSd is 13 it won't be long til she'll actually not want to go ... anyway that you could have 2 hols - 1 family scene with DSD and then you and Dp alone - even if it was just a long weekend city break or some such ??!! BTW my ex hubby was exactly the same - right mardy git at times !!

NotActuallyAMum · 28/02/2006 14:46

Yes it's true that she won't want to come on holiday with us forever, but I think we're probably 4 or 5 years away from that

Squirrel I have agreed to pay for holidays then we split spending money - I only give DP £100 a month towards the bills, and I pay for food/nights out/football tickets but he pays everything else so it's only fair really. He hasn't said so but I don't think he really wants just the two of us to go abroad - I think he's trying to say he doesn't think it's fair for us to go without dsd, which I disagree with. She will get a holiday - but it'll be somewhere in this Country. But I will speak to him about it when the time's right

The weather is anyhow here today, we've had sleet, bright sunshine, rain, and now it's gone really dark again

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