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Step-parenting

Connect with other Mumsnetters here for step-parenting advice and support.

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Original poster

Nutty Stepmum's Club (NSC) - Who Wants To Join Us? (Thread 2)

2003 replies

Squirrel3 · 16/01/2006 16:06

Ah ha! I knew I could get it to the two thousand posts!!!!

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

tarantula · 09/02/2006 16:18

the cales and ale are ESSENTIAL.

NotActuallyAMum · 09/02/2006 16:23

That certainly does sound lovely - and so different

Still want to get married.....though I probably should add that it's still relatively early days for us yet - we've been together 20 months, and DP has only been divorced for the last 7 of those

Original poster

Squirrel3 · 09/02/2006 16:30

Sorry to change the subject, dd is ill and I've got Lea here and she keeps throwing up. I'm a bit out of practice with babies, what do I give her to eat? And what abut her bottles, should I still be giving her milk? She is 7 months old now BTW. She is happy enough, crawling around and giggling.

You would think that being a grandmother I would have all of the answers but I think altzimers (sp?) has kicked in and I can't remember.

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NotActuallyAMum · 09/02/2006 16:36

I would try to feed her normally if it was me - ie give her what you would have anyway, specially as she seems happy enough She may, of course, bring it back up again but I don't think it'd do her any good not to eat at all iyswim

Original poster

Squirrel3 · 09/02/2006 16:41

My ds has just come home from work and I asked him if he liked my hair (I had it cut today) He said "Very nice, what did you have done, cut, coloured, washed?" Cheeky monkey!

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NotActuallyAMum · 09/02/2006 16:43

Bless him!! That's men for you

I'm having my highlights re-done tomorrow night - just the "top" of my hair where it's grown since I last had it done. My sister does it for me. Must get it cut too, haven't had a cut for 14 months

Original poster

Squirrel3 · 09/02/2006 16:49

Lea keeps on grinning at ds with her head to one side (she does it to dp too), ds recons she is practicing the 'I'm so cute, buy me things' look!

OP posts:

NotActuallyAMum · 09/02/2006 16:54

Fair play to her too! And she's already got the knack of only doing it to men - she'll go far!

Original poster

Squirrel3 · 09/02/2006 16:57

Lol, thats my girl!

OP posts:

workingmumnhs · 09/02/2006 18:32

On the marriage thing. Dp and I been together for 5 years, we got engaged after 4 weeks and never went any further, Fisrt it was I had to finish my training then, I got pregnant and now I think we have jsut got in a rut.

bm3sm2 · 09/02/2006 19:47

Hi anyone here I wanted to have a moan

bm3sm2 · 09/02/2006 19:53

dh xw has texted him tonight to tell me to stop questioning her two as I am making them feel awkward I didn't question anyone at the weekend in my opinion, just showed an interest in their school stuff and what they had been up to . Really pissed off as she has a real downer on me again and I am just so tired of it all. Dh said just ignore her she's an idiot but its hard not to get upset about it. If sd's have gone back and said I "questioned" them, then that makes me feel sad too. Just trying my best here, perhaps I should just go out and hit the shops this weekend and keep out of their way.....

NotActuallyAMum · 10/02/2006 08:38

Hello all

bm3sm2 sorry you're having a bad time {{{hugs to you}}}. I'd be upset at that too, but I do wonder if the kids have just made an innocent comment and it's actually BM that's made something of nothing? I'm guessing of course but it may well not be the kids fault. Are they with you all weekend? Have to say I'd be tempted to go out and leave them to it as well. Is that the right thing to do? Well I don't know - but I'd certainly be tempted. Wish I could help more {{hugs again}}

Don't think I'll be on this weekend either - got yet more problems with the laptop, grrrrrrrr!!

How's every else today? I'm actually very happy today (despite being p-ed off about the laptop!) because it's DPs weekend off - YAAAAAY!! Got my sister coming after work to do my hair then we've got the evening to ourselves, day to ourselves tomorrow then out with my brother and SIL tomorrow night then DP is picking dsd up on Sunday morning and we're going bowling Sunday afternoon (I'm shite at it but I love it )

What's everyone else doing at the weekend?

Squirrel, hope your dd and Lea are feeling better

bm3sm2 · 10/02/2006 09:02

hi naam, lucky you sounds like you will have a fab weekend - sad to say I can't remember the last time we had no kids, in fact think it was last June on our anniversary!

dh ex texted this am to say dsd has been up all night being ill, and other dsd doesn't want to come this weekend as she will miss her mum. {{{{{banging head of wall}}}}}} I don't know how these women can live with themselves I really don't. Suppose it solves my weekend problem then. My stomach is churning as our little one gets upset when they don't come (we have had them only 5 nights since New Year)

I have busy day today, my new collection of clothes arrived for my work, so will be busy tagging and playing with everything! Have training session all day Sunday but that will be great as I will be childless!!

Think I'll be having a bottle of wine tonight too oh and a chinese, just to cheer us up!

Moan over how is everyone else today. x

Original poster

Squirrel3 · 10/02/2006 09:08

bm3sm2, she sounds like my dp's X, you can't win, if you don't show any interest you would be accused of not caring, if you show an interest "They are nothing to do with you, so keep your nose out!"

Don't take any notice of her, let it go over your head (didn't you read the Stepmums job description lol). I know the feeling of wanting to just go out and leave them to it; I have felt like that soooooo many times.

NAAM, dd is still the same, Lea is a little better, I am feeling bloody awful, they have given me the flu bug, it's all I blooming need, I've been feeling ill for ages anyway, (been having blood test to try to find out exactly what is happening).

If I am up to it I want to go and up-grade my mobile phone, the old one keeps on cutting out for some reason. Sounds like you have got a nice weekend lined up NAAM, but I thought that you had dark hair? I always imagined you with shoulder length dark hair!

OP posts:

Original poster

Squirrel3 · 10/02/2006 09:13

bm3sm2, sorry I was typing an anwer to your first post when dp rang, I didn't see your second post.

It sounds as if the X is stirring things up again, I hope that she realises that its the kids that get caught in the cross-fire and its them that suffer in the end.

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bm3sm2 · 10/02/2006 09:19

Hi Squirrel, this has been going on for 7 years so hate to say to you all that if you are having problems now, they don't get any better! By keeping them away from their dad her hold on them gets stronger and they totally change towards us. I agree I need to "build a bridge and get over it" its so draining having to deal with this all the time.

Sorry to hear about your flu bug, I had it two weeks ago and its still hanging around. Its freezing here today, everything is white with frost. Think I'm getting rid of my disney princess room tomorrow (yipee!)can't wait to get the house back to normal.

Anyone watch 24 on sky one, it starts back again this sunday. Keifer Sutherland is sooooo yummy.

NotActuallyAMum · 10/02/2006 09:29

Yes I agree it sounds like BM stirring things up, why do they do this???? Can they not see that it's the kids who get hurt, grrrrrrr!!!!

Squirrel you really have been in the wars lately haven't you? Poor you, hope you all get better soon. There's a really nasty bug doing the rounds here - schools are having to completely shut because of it

My hair? It's very long - about 6 inches above my waist - very thick and naturally curly. My sister is coming to re-do the highlights at the top of my hair where it's grown since she last did it. She's not a hairdresser - I just buy a DIY highlighting kit cos it's cheaper and I hate going to the hairdressers! Don't know why, I just do, hence I haven't had it cut for 14 months I really must get it done....

Original poster

Squirrel3 · 10/02/2006 09:34

Yes but bm3sm2, when they grow up they will (hopefully) realise what has been happening and when that happens her relationship with them will be damaged too. I feel so sad for them.

I think that when parents split up they should seek advice on how to best deal with the split so that the kids do not get hurt. I'm sure that some BM's do not realise the damage that they are doing to their kids or they wouldn't do it. I actually feel sorry for the BM's (as well as the kids) who cannot stop using their kids as weapons against their former partners, it makes life so much more complicated and hard for all concerned. It takes so much more energy fighting and hateing than just trying to make the best of things. The kids get damaged emotionally and it can't be much fun for the BM's being up-tight and angry all of the time. I seriously believe that if the BM's who do this knew what they were doing and how it could be different, therefore easier, they wouldn't do it.

and yes Keifer Sutherland is yummy!

OP posts:

Original poster

Squirrel3 · 10/02/2006 09:38

NAAM, isn't it funny how you imagine what a person looks like on here?

I always imagine Tarantula as having long dark hair, skinny and actually quite beautiful.

I haven't quite got a mental pic of you BM3SM2 yet, but I'm sure I will soon.

OP posts:

NotActuallyAMum · 10/02/2006 09:38

bm3sm2 how old are they? I know it probably seems a long way off but there will come a time when they'll be able to come and see you of their own accord and you won't have to arrange everything through BM. Doesn't help in the short term though I know. Don't know about anyone else but I find it draing having to deal with it, you'd think they'd find it draining actually doing it but apparantly not

I don't watch that program - we do have Sky tho but we always seem to have football on

bm3sm2 · 10/02/2006 09:39

Keifer Sutherland's sd was married in scotland a few years back not far from me, went down to see him he is gorgeous - think he would be a bit of rough if you know what I mean!! Treat you mean to keep you keen! Now that makes me sound sooo sad

anyway off to have some breakfast and get showered etc, having a really lazy start to the day today.

thanks for listening (reading) speak to you all soon x

NotActuallyAMum · 10/02/2006 09:42

Squirrel yes I agree - I have pictures of people in my mind too, my picture of tarantula is about the same as yours, and I think you're quite a petite person, not very tall with long blonde hair Oh and with big boobs cos you once said so

bm3sm2 · 10/02/2006 09:45

still here! Naam sd's are 11 and 8, problem is the biggest one has been damaged with all this anyway. her mother stopped contact for 6 months and it wasn't resumed until court made her give contact (she was only 5 at the time) BM texts oldest sd all the time when she is here, saying how much she is missing her and that she is lonely (she has a dp and sd). Oldest sd is her mothers daughter if you use that phrase in england, and youngest one is closer to her daddy. I really don't know how things will go when they are older as it is not only bm that says things its also bm family as well. Girls have been told that they are their "real family". BM also had the cheek to say that our dd wasn't their sister at all - to the children. She said she was just daddy's child, I'm not their stepmum I'm "just your daddys wife". really sad isn't it

tarantula · 10/02/2006 09:47

Hello all

Sorry to hear you are having another weekend without the kids coming round BM3sm3. Its one of these no win situations. No matter how hard you try or what you do you are always in the wrong and its so difficult for your own kids to as they want to see their siblings.
Oh dear Squirrel you really havebeen i the wars with your health this winter. It seems to be one illness after another. I do hope they find out why you are feeling so ill. [fingers crossed]
I hate the hairdressers to NAAM. I'd prefer to go to the dentist TBH

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