Nutty Stepmum's Club (NSC) - Who Wants To Join Us? (Thread 2)

[Squirrel3]

Ah ha! I knew I could get it to the two thousand posts!!!!

ooo ok then that'll suit me fine. Better not let dp find out tho. He's be dead jealous

Think my DP would be more worried about my apparent lack of taste in men

lol thats true.Imagine the crush to their egos tho PMSL at the thought.

Yes me too

I'm with Squirrel about being intrigued with the beltane and handfasted [nosey emoticon]

Beltane is the first of May (May day) and celebrates the beginning of summer, the most important part of the farming year. As such its a day specially dedicated to the Goddess and all children concieved on that day are sacred to her. May poles are part of that tradition (fertility symbol or what ).
Lots of this has been taken over by the Christian church eg in Ireland May is the month of Mary and people put out flowers on their door steps on May Day eve for Our Lady to bless and create May alters with statues and flowers.

Handfasting is a form of 'marriage' which lasts for a year and a day before the vows are renewed rather than 'till death do us part'. Part of this is due to a belief in reincarnation which menas that death does not part the souls as they may then meet again in a furture life.

Oh I see

I'm always interested to hear these different things. So you've no plans to actually get married "properly" so to speak then? Tell me to mind my own business if you like

DP will not marry me

I do get upset about it, after all he married the last two, why won't he marry me?

He says he is the happiest he has ever been with me but he won't marry me, its hard to get my head around the fact that I will never have a wedding day, I will never wear 'the dress' etc.

I know its silly but it does upset me.

Maybe he will go for handfasting?

I thought you jumped the broomstick tarantula or is that not the same thing?

lol we got engaged at 3 christmases ago with the thoguth of getting offically married but everytime I think of it I break out in cold sweat. I mean that would mean ORGANISING things and making DESISIONS shudder. then there is the cost of it all and the two families meeting up and .......... Sorry got to go have a lie down

jumping the broomstick is part of handfasting.

Its a nice way to do thign Squirrel. I'm sureyou could talk him into it

If dp and I got married it would only be his family, and most of them are in America, oh and of course all of our kids and grandkids.

Don't think I'd invite my bitch mother and vile Father from hell to my wedding! OOOoops! sorry it just slips out sometimes!

Infact a wedding wouldn't be that hard to organise for me. I'll put it to dp and see what her says [hopeful emoticon]

See what he says.

I'll have to google Handfasting get the info on it and see if he will go for it, although I doubt it.

I'd love to get married too Squirrel - dropped a few hints but nothing yet....I think on exactly the same lines as you - he married the last one, and he often says he wants to spend his life with me so what's the problem? We've never actually talked about it though - and no way am I asking him

Think we'd have to bugger off abroad on our own and do it though - I'm with tarantula, can't be doing with the organisation and with all our family squabbles/fallings out etc. etc. etc. we'd have to put a boxing ring in the corner of the room

Squirrel tell him if he doesn't marry you we're all going to come down there and sort him out [threaten-to-beat-up emoticon]

DP did buy me an eternity ring and told me he wanted to grow old with me and spend the rest of his life with me but he will not marry me.

I asked him if we could just have 'the day' we could get married, I get to wear the frock and be the bride etc we could have a lovely party. Then if we didn't consummate the marriage we could get it annulled.... Funnily enough he wouldn't go for it!

Lucky you Squirrel. that sounds like a lovely small wedding.
I was thinking of going abroad for the wedding just us and the kids(canada was a thought) but my family all went'wow yeah brilliant we havent been to Canada' blody typical! Dp's family cant/wont travel very far as have kids and not much money and better things to spend it on than long journeys to get to my wedding but cant ahve one without the other really.

But the thing is I dont really want to have my wedding in London either. want nice scenery.

So I'm not bovverd Do I look bovvered Well Do I DoI?????

And t'would be muggins here doing all the organising too. PAH

fingers crossed Squirrel that he sasy yes. It'd be great if he did.

Ok, so when he comes home I will tell him that if he doesnt marry me NAAM will come down to Kent and beat him up!!!

If he still doesn't agree, I tell him that if he doesn't agree to the Handfasting instead Tarantula will kick her hairs all over him!!!

But wouldn't it be worth the hassle of organising it Tarantula?

You tell him Squirrel

Seriously, I really can't understand what the problem is and can totally see why it upsets you because I'm exactly the same. Think that's why I won't mention it to my DP because tbh if I did and he said he'd never marry me I think I'd leave him! Honestly I really do feel that strongly about it. Obviously I don't want him proposing to me with a gun to his head - I hope he'll do it of his own free will one day but if he doesn't??? I don't know, I probably would talk to him about it eventually but hope I won't have to....time will tell

Well it might Squirrel if I could guarantee that BIL and his gf didnt get drunk and have a huge barney as they tend to do quite a lot. the one and only time BIL met my mum he kissed her hand and was smarmy and OTT polite. Mum was not impressed. Dad was even less impressed by my FIL spending 1/2 hour telling him how he went to Galway for a holiday and hated it cos it was all fields and stuff and not a big city (Dads from Galway). Lead balloons wasnt the word for it but it was very funny but wouldn't be funny if it was my wedding day.

I guess the fact that dp wasnt married to bm does make a difference and the fact that we are handfasted does too at least to me.

DP did say once "Never say never, maybe one day!" but I'm 40 this year, am I going to have to wait until I'm 50? If I have to wait until I'm 50 I am going to look ridiculous in a wedding dress!!!!!

Mind you I suppose my Zimmer frame will look nice decorated with flowers!

Hairs ready and waiting!!! He'll itch for a week after

Tell me about your handfasting ceremony please if you have time.

I am intrigued!

here is a good and simple guide to handfasting

We had a friend of mine who was a Wiccan to officiate (as it were). We did it in a circle and we did call on the Goddess. Once we had said out wedding vows (which I wrote) our hands were bound with a red ribbon and we jumped the broom stick together. We then had ceremonial cakes and ale, our hands were untied and then we struck the circle. After that we let off a single firework together and lit a bonfire and had more (lots more) cakes and ale

Sounds lovely Tarantula (especially the bit about ale and cakes)