Nutty Stepmum's Club (NSC) - Who Wants To Join Us? (Thread 2)

[Squirrel3]

Ah ha! I knew I could get it to the two thousand posts!!!!

Hello

Smoking is one of my pet hates - I'd be angry too. Can't wait till it's banned in pubs (don't think it's too far away IMO) because every time we go out we stink when we get home, everything has to go straight into the washing machine - not the laundry basket or the room will stink - and I have to have a shower even if it's 2am because I have very long, thick hair which also stinks

OK rant over.....

Hope your job gets better Squirrel, and tarantula please listen to Squirrel and don't throw things at your newly plastered wall

I can't imagine chatting to BM and having time 'slip away'!

I can imagine talking to BM and thinking this!

PMSL

I'll certainly second that - personally I wouldn't chat to BM at all, couldn't do it without slapping her!!!

Isn't it a good job our step children don't realise how we feel about thier mothers? Mind you having said that I do get on with BM1 its just BM2 who is the nightmare!

I've actually got a feeling dsd knows how I feel about her mum but it just doesn't get mentioned, which is probably just as well. She never mentions her mum to me but she does to her Dad. Daft thing is I'd known BM for a lot of years - our mums used to work together and our brothers were best friends as children - but when she brought me into her divorce that was it for me. It very nearly split DP and I up - if I'd had somewhere to go I would have definitely left him and I'll never, ever forgive her for it. Probably shouldn't be so bitter about it really but I can't it!!

Can't help it that should have said

I didn't know BM at all before I met dp, they had split up 2 years previous (well, we did meet briefly when I was 16 but there was definitely no romance between us, its a funny story, remind me to tell it to you one day) but it didn't stop her accusing us of sleeping together before they had split, remember this is the woman who threw him out because she wanted to move the young man who lived opposite them in!(he was so young he had been their paperboy at one point!

Wonder what possesses these BMs to do things like this?? DP had been split with BM for 5 months when we met. She left him for his 50 year old ex best friend who he used to work with - she'd been having an affair with him for 6 months (and it wasn't her first affair!) then she had the bloody cheek to bring me into the divorce!!

It still makes my blood boil even now 12 months after we had the solicitors letter Have to say I've found being a stepmum far more difficult since then because dsd just reminds me of her all the time. And I've struggled even more since I changed my mind about having kids of my own - still trying very hard to live with that. Until those two things happened I think I was doing fine. Don't get me wrong, I wasn't finding it easy before but it got so much harder after those two things happened, iyswim. I'm dreading mothers day - trying not to think about it tho cos it's 7 weeks away yet

Phew guess I got off lightly then. All I ever got was drunken ranting down the phone and whinges about dp being a part-time dad and how he should do more.

But even that tarantula is unnecessary - after all even if what she said is true (which I've no doubt it isn't!) it isn't your fault so she shouldn't rant at you about it IMO

{grin] Namm tbh she did have a point which was that dp never listened to her and he didnt cos she used to be very aggressive towards him and so he'd jsut switch off whcih meant he'd miss what she was trying to tell him. so for the sake of a smooth runnig household I'd listen to her rambling on and cut to the chase and then get dp to sort out the problem. Made life so much easier all round.

hello everyone. Have enrolled DD in Ballet classes. She starts on Saturday.Going shopping for cute leotards and pink tights tomorrow.
How has everyones day been. Was working with the male side of the ward today. I'm not going any further i let you guess what I've seen today
EEEHHH

Hi can I join you? BM to three (2 exh and 1 h) and sm to two. Like reading my life story reading some of these threads! I have been reading ALL afternoon!

Hello bm3sm2, of course you can join. Have you had a look at the origional Nutty Stepmum's Club (NSC) thread? 2000 posts, so it may take some time but there is some important information on there, about uniform etc Oh and a very big welcome to you!

Tarantula are you Cod in disguise?

Workingmum, eurgh! 100 yr old willies!!!!

original even, no, I'm not Cod either!

Hello BM3SM2.

I've only been on this a week or so but they are a great bunch of girls. You'll enjoy this thread
Welcome

Yeah 100 year old willes and conveens, stomas. I'll dtop now as it is tea time and people are trying to eat

Hiya again, thanks! Really have been on for all afternoon, still struggling a bit with the abbreviations but I will get there I'm sure!

Like to think I am a nice BM with regards to my own two kids sm and exh, but they may have different to say! With regards to my sk bm - she is a big problem. Most of the posts today could have been written by me, isn't it funny that some bm choose to be difficult and others just get on with it.

On a positive note we all get on, after 6 years practice, although my sd is getting to that difficult age of 11 (my bs is 12 so its fun here!) and I do feel our relationship isn't as strong as the one I have with my sd who is 7 (she has only really known her daddy to be with me as she was a baby when they split up).

How do you cope when planned weekend visits are cancelled "because they are too busy" ?

bm3sm2, you can find most of the abbreviations at the top of the page, just click on the acronym list. Hope this helps.

I'm sory I can't give advice on cancelled weekends, it hasn't happened to us....... yet!

Cheers I found the list and lots makes sense now! Thanks, need to get kids bathed now but will come back tomorrow to see what you are on about then bye x

Planned weekends aren't cancelled because she has no set time too come down. She comes if she wants to. SD is 11 and is welcome here at all times. Her BM is weird. Sometimes get the impression she wants to get rid of her so she can spend time with the children she has with her new DP. No Problem tho. She is a fab child and could live here if she wanted.

Hello all

Another new bod, YAAAAAY - that's 2 in a week!! Welcome bm3sm2 We like a laugh on here, it makes being a stepmum sooooo much easier knowing we're all in the same boat. DP doesn't have any set arrangements for visits so we've never had visits cancelled either......yet!

PMSL at 100 year old willies They're not the prettiest of things at the best of times, never when they're old and wrinkled That's willies I'm talking about btw not men, although thinking about it......

Can't believe it's February

Hope everyone's OK

uuurrgghhhh - 100 years old willies!!!!

Morning everyone, have everything in perspective today. Just was a bit upset yesterday when bm texted to say sk weren't coming this weekend as they were too busy. She totally controls visits if she doesn't want them to come she will make up some excuse for them not to come over. On the other hand she sometimes forgets to take them back! So I suppose we need to take the rough with the smooth.

Advice I am looking for today is:!!!

My sd had her first holy communion 2 years ago, I was not welcome to attend (dh and I were married and had child together by this time) so did not, as I did not want to feel bad and wanted the day to be great for her. After her communion she was toured round the local pubs for her bm friends to see her. I love her and it cut me up that I couldn't see her that day. My dilema is that it is other sd communion this year, my dh is insistent that I attend as bm partner and sd will be going and he thinks I should attend with him and our dd, as this is only right. Nothing has been said about whether I am welcome but suppose things haven't changed that much in her eyes.

What would you do? would you attend or keep a dignified silence and stay away. Incidently I wasn't allowed to tell sd why I couldn't be there to see her, I just said that dd was unwell and I had to look after her.

bm3sm2 - i would be fuming if the planned weekends are cancelled by your ex as it so unfair on the kids as they cannot understand..

Last year Dp took his ex to a family solictors (cant remember what they are called!!) to sort out arrangements as before if it falls on the weekend we was supposed to have her and its her birthday too, Dp's ex wolud say "no im having her as ive arranged a birthday party"!! (ok fair deal) but dp wanted to see his DD later on same day which it was impossible but now he get to see her after the party finishes.

last xmas we supposed to have her @ 12 - 1pm on Xmas day (all agreed at the family sols)... we werent allowed to pick her up till 5pm on xmas day... all dp gotta do is get her to sign a paper work to advsd that she is happy for those original arrangements instead of messin us about (he said that he cant be bothered arguing with her.. even though he get a cob ob!! - cant win!!!)

bm3sm2 - i would be fuming if the planned weekends are cancelled by your ex as it so unfair on the kids as they cannot understand..

Last year Dp took his ex to a family solictors (cant remember what they are called!!) to sort out arrangements as before if it falls on the weekend we was supposed to have her and its her birthday too, Dp's ex wolud say "no im having her as ive arranged a birthday party"!! (ok fair deal) but dp wanted to see his DD later on same day which it was impossible but now he get to see her after the party finishes.

last xmas we supposed to have her @ 12 - 1pm on Xmas day (all agreed at the family sols)... we werent allowed to pick her up till 5pm on xmas day... all dp gotta do is get her to sign a paper work to advsd that she is happy for those original arrangements instead of messin us about (he said that he cant be bothered arguing with her.. even though he get a cob on!! - cant win!!!)