The Step Parents Refurbished Wine Bar

[BarfTheHeraldAngelsHeave]

The refurbished SP Wine Bar is once again open, as while you don't have to drink to be a Step Parent, it helps.

Contact changed at no notice?

Disney Dad and sulky Skids?

Damned if you do and damned if you don't???

Ahhh, thats better!

So far this year the highlights have included:

'you are nothing to my daughter'- of course not, it was only me that was there for her first crawl/steps/words etc.

'you hit her'- no that would be you for the crime of wetting herself at 4

'she doesn't like visiting you'- evident by the hysterical tears when it's time to go back to mummy's.

Good morning all.

I really can't take any praise for reopening the wine bar since it was Confession's idea and I just stayed up later than she did . Thats a point, where is Confessions and should we have some kind of intros? I know some of the names here, but not all.

Lest we forget "She doesn't like to come to your house"
No, she does like to come to our house, but she has learned from years of conditioning that saying she doesn't like it gets her a favourable response from her mother whom she adores... it's called pychological bullying.

Hic... burp... hic... What is this fake baileys you speak of?

Fake Baileys is Aldis Ballysomethingorother Irish Cream liqueur.

It is lush.

The answer to "She doesn't like to come to your house" is "Its so sad when they feel they have to say that isn't it?"

The ranting Bom intro - 1 DSD, young teenager, stays with us 3 or 4 nights a week and spends most of her weekend days with us. This used to be because her Mum worked on a Saturday but she now doesn't so err.. not sure why it has continued. Quite happy with it though as I have my own DD who likes her "big sis" being around and we usually plod along fine. I admit it is fairly annoying though that despite my DD being at her dad's every other weekend we never get a Saturday to ourselves because DSD's mum "needs the rest". But ho-hum as they say "I knew what i was getting myself in to"

Recently though DH has reduced his maintenance payments in line with what they should be rather than the extortionate amount he has always paid - this has resulted in DSD's mum demanding DSD stay with her more often

Pay-per-view parenting anyone?

I love a good drink.. preferabble a big hearty red, or if that fails a sauvignon blanc with some cheap diet lemonade

Interested in this fake Baileys business though....

Barf - thanks, I love that idea! Followed by "She says the same thing to us about coming to yours"

My own DD used to say it to both her Dad and I because simply enough she was comfy where she was sat and didnt really want to trapse to the other house. We have always answered her with something like "Don't be silly darling, you love seeing Mummy/ Daddy once you're there" big grin. She hardly ever bothers saying it now. At least she won't spend her life feeling guilty about loving both her parents equally.

Making time to visit Aldi today

I have an older DSD which means I have lived through, and survived much of what has fone before, but it doesn't stop when they leave home, I find and DH still finds ways to surprise me. I tend not to post on here though, but in OTBT as he's a sneaky spy when it comes to me talking about step issues.

Can I join ? I have been tortured by DHs Ex for the past ten years. She has successfully managed to condition the DSD and DSS to torture us too . Am sat in a virtual wine cellar .

I confess to having the idea to reopen the Bar

Since the festive season is somewhat tough for us evil bitches Steps

My ILs are leaving tonight so I can MN and get pissed hang out later.

I have a childfree evening so I will be daaaan the pub spending my DSD's inheritance.

I will be hanging out tomorrow though in the virtual wine cellar passing around my newly aquired Bailealdis and sobbing on sillyolde4lfs shoulder whilst listening to sage mumblings of Barf on how she made it through to the other side and lived to tell the tale

Ooh and cooing over MJs new sparkly stockings.

(ahem) and plying everybodyknows with gin in thanks for re-opening the bar

Thats better- Make sure I get a chaser of Water with that gin

Cheers.

I have a 4 year old DSD, lived with me and DP from 4months to two and a half as her mum couldn't cope. Kept going back and forth to court as her mum wanted the benefit money but not DSD.
Now she's with us officially every other weekend but reality is most weekends.

I wasn't the OW, DP and ex split when she was pregnant, her choice!

That's shocking Mud.

Is it easier having the kids there full time? I've always thought maybe it would be - alothough very tiring I'm sure. But at least then you are in charge.

I've been a long suffering a Step parent for nearly 7 years.

Initialy we had a nearly 50/50 split. Now I have one resident DBD1 and DBD2 lives with her mother(it's a long and sad story).

Both are here EOWE and half of all holidays. We alternate Xmas.

We've had our fair share of drama and I'm always ready for the next stupid thing their mum will do we've always done the best we could and even went to mediation to help their mother realise she was being an idiot to sort out issues.

It is easier - one of mine lived with me for years, but dealing with an aggressive teenager - who isn't yours and who has been rejected by one of their parents brings it's own challenges - it does however mean you do have the authority to deal with it.

No one ever formally gave me PR but certainly doctors school etc did just accept me as a main carer and somewhere is LEA guidance for schools that includes reference to a person with whom a child lives as able to give consent.

I also have another sc whose mother is incredibly controlling and hostile to contact despite sc being old enough to make up her own mind.

Half of Mumsnet thinks I have been lying for 7 years and dh is not the man I think he is and is a violent abuser.

I have just had to have the last rememants of my posting history removed as someone decided to track my posts back to 2008 despite over 50 name changes!

That was ridiculous mj I watched that thread! Would you be able to find the guidance for the school thing? As you know dsd lives with us half the time and it would be helpful to be able to pull that out at school if needed. Dsd doesn't actually have one residence. Her doctors and dentist is mine, school is mums. Child benefit is mine, tax credits is mums. Work that one out!!

I don't think it's so much tracking you back over fifty name changes, as recognising your distinctive posting style and situation from a previous incarnation, MJ, you doofus . I still think of you as an incognito Michael Jackson in a spangly Christmas suit though.

I don't care which combination of my family members are here on christmas day, as long as they leave me and chocolate lime vodka alone.

I know people recognise me - but to actually remember an ID from 2008 - and then pm it to another poster so they can shoot your bullets??

There are numerous posters whose style I recognise - but I wouldn't know what their last ID was - never mind one from years ago - freaked me out enough to drink a crap bottle of wine in pub and give myself a dreaful hangover.

I'll dig out that lea guidance over christmas.

It is easier when there is a court order in place but inbetween was hell. We'd get a text when DSD was on weekend visit to her mum saying oh she has a cold so I'm not bringing her back. Then it was back to court.
Her mum seems to be coping now but some of the things she accused DP of were disgusting so I'm very wary of her.

ChoclAte lime vodka?? What brand is that?? Sounds gorgeous, Choccy vodka, Tia Maria and OJ is lovely though.

Dh has a court with a 40/60 split - was a waste of money, disregarded all the time and led to huge pressures on DC when she reached an age where it was totally unenforceable.